Saturday, June 28, 2014


Tonight I got the call from my mother that my Grampie had passed away.  
He was 90 years old and had recently been moved into a home because he needed constant care and my nanny couldn't do it herself. 
The last time I saw him was a year and a half ago. Little did I know that it would be the last time I saw him. I was so sure that I would be able to see him when we went home this summer. Now I will have to make due with his grave. I will bring Dey and Dominic there to meet the man who made me laugh so many times. 
Tonight I am so terribly sad that I didn't get to say goodbye and that I don't get to go to the funeral and be there for my family, especially my mom and nanny. 
As I'm sitting here with many tears falling from my face I am flooded with memories. 
Grampie always loved ginger snaps when I was a kid and he always would get "mad" when I would eat them. 
He had candy tucked away in a drawer in the TV room along with Peppermints. I claim that he is where I got my sweet tooth from. 
He always drank postom after his dinner and was always in his garden. 
He one time was in the news paper for growing the biggest potatoe in Dartmouth. 
I remember sitting on his lap and shoving socks in his mouth when he would snore so loudly. 
I spent countless days with him and my nanny in the valley where he was in his garden too or working on the land. 
He kicked the geese who tried to attack myself and Michelle one summer. 
He couldn't remember mine and my cousins name during the dinner prayer so he called us jenny and Ashely, my other cousins. 
He always gave me whisker burn as a kid and drove a giant van. He always had grease under his nails from working in his garage. 
I have so many memories but I can't quite seem to get them all down. 
He was a man who I thought would always be here. He was a tall man in many ways with a big heart. 
He was my grandfather who I will miss terribly. 

I love you Grampie and miss you so much already. 
Heaven gained a giant of a man tonight. 
I can't wait to see you again one day. 

Thursday, June 19, 2014


Today I found out that one of my good work friends moved back to Ontario. I just saw her last week and she didn't mention anything. I am quite saddened about it. She has been one of my closest friends since I've had a baby. She has made the effort to come and visit me almost every week. Now with her gone I am having an even bigger issue about going back to work. 
I all of a sudden feel like Calgary isn't home anymore. I have to go back to work for 6 months but I don't know if I'll stay after that 6 months. I don't know if I'll even stay in Calgary after that. I feel like my life here has changed so much that it's not even mine anymore. 
I feel empty some days because it's just me, Dominic and our house with the occasional walk but outside of that my life is non existent during the day and sometimes evening. 
I just want some form of normal again.  
I hate that in didn't get to say goodbye to my friend and I hate that I have lost that socialization.  
Tonight I am back to not being happy with my lack of a life. 
Hopefully this goodbye is the last one for a while and that my life picks up. 

Saturday, June 14, 2014


For the past 3 years I have lived in Calgary.... Well it will be 3 years next month... and I have NEVER been to the zoo. To think of it I've never gone to a real zoo before. 
Since Dominic has been born my urge to go to the zoo has intensified and as the weather has gotten nicer I have been begging Dey to go and today my begging payed off. 
We left around 1:30 and got to the zoo at 2. Finding a parking spot wasn't as hard as I thought because someone was leaving and waved us to their car. 
We got out of the car and it was a bit windy and not super warm for a baby but I didn't care because I was going to the zoo. I don't think I've been this excited for a long time. 

Dey is really bad at making sure I look good in pictures. We also had to put Dominic back in his car seat on the stroller because having him in the stroller by himself has proven to be quite tramatic lately. 

The weather got extremely nice once we got inside to zoo and all the animals decided to bask in the light and be lazy. 

I kicked some kids out of the pouch to get this picture. Dey wouldn't let me put Dominic in it. 


For the last little bit we took Dominic out and Dey carried him. 

I didn't want to go into the gardens but we decided to and I felt like I was in a fairy land with the butterflies just flying about. 

The peacocks today were every place we went and were calling out to I'm assuming other peacocks and scared me. I loved that they were just so calm and roaming free and walked right in front of your face. Kids would run after their tails and they would still be so peaceful. I waited to see if they would flaunt their tail but they didn't. 

If you've ever seen the BBC talking animal video then you will understand when I say "Allan!" 

I've never known how beautiful giraffes were before until I saw them up close. We came here twice so I could see them. 

Dominic actually stared at the giraffes for quite some time. They were moving a lot so I think that caught his eye. 

"In the circle of life" 

The lions were lazy as well. 

Typical Dey 

We went back to the penguins for a second time at the end of our day and Doninic was tuckered out. 

Deys favorite animals are penguins. Their calls are loud gas they made me laugh. It's mating season so the men were a bit crazy. 

I took many other pictures as well but only loaded a view. 
If I could I would go to the zoo everyday. I'm so in love with animals. Also I got some exercise and sun. I got a little burnt but it was welcomed. 

For dinner we went to Costa Vida. It was just what I wanted. It was a good end to a great day. 

Days like this make me remember how much I love life. 
It also makes me want to go out and explore things I've never seen before here in the city. 
Tonight I am going to bed a tired and happy girl. 

Rough Night

I'm sitting here in bed at 3am blogging from my phone. I took a nap today (technically it was yesterday) and it has made me wide awake. It doesn't help that Dominic has been fussing lately. 
Since Dominic started eating rice cereal he has started to have more difficulty with pooping... Yes I'm talking about poop. 
Because he's having issues he gets upset, frustrated and is in pain. I gave him some prunes today because we were told by our doctor to try prunes. Fingers crossed this helps. 
Speaking of fingers, Dominic is also teething and hasn't quite figured out how to use teethers so he's resorted to my thumb knuckle. This boy can bite hard for not having any real teeth yet! 
I've also been sitting here missing the life I once had. No I don't mean I miss being single and not having Dey or Dominic, I miss having activities to go to and people to see every week. 
I feel like I've lost myself a bit and I'm not quite sure how to get it back when no ones around anymore and my mode of transportation is very limited. 
I just miss having fun. 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

One Year

One year ago today Dey and I made the decision to get married. We did it quick and not the way most wanted us to but at the end of the day we did it our way. I've been asked by many "do you regret it?" My answer has always been "do I regret the way we got married? No way. Do I wish we got the presents everyone else gets? Yes haha". 

Me and the girls. This would have been my wedding party as well as Kayla but she was in BC and this was very last minute. 

This is my favorite shot of Dey. I know it doesn't show his face but it just looks great. 

This is everyone who made the quick list of attending. 

My favorite picture of myself. I feel pretty in it. 

Sometimes we kiss 

Just the two of us. That's the top view of my dress. It was knee length and from Le Chateau. It was just over 100$ and I felt more comfortable in this dress than I did in any that I had tried on. It's also like one tenth the amount most dresses are. 

This year has been the best of my life. They say the first year is the hardest and if this is the case then I think the rest will be wonderful as well. 
Dey and I have been blessed with a pretty easy relationship this far and I al grateful for it. Don't get me wrong, we have our differences but they are few and far between and it has made married life a great life. 
I love Dey and I love our life together. He truly is a blessing and he came into my life when I needed him the most. We met by chance and it changed our lives together.
He gave me motherhood and my son and I cannot wait for the many years to come. 
Now that it's been a year we can start the application for our sealing. I cannot wait for the day I get to kneel across from the alter and make this an eternal family. 
He is my forever and I his. Together we love deeply and surely and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Happy Anniversay! 

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Weekend fun

This weekend started on Friday morning for me. It had been about 6 months since I had my hair cut and it had gotten so very long and dead and just plain BLAH! So after planning with Dey I was able to go get my hair cut on Friday morning. I always go to chatters because it's cheaper and my mom sends me gift cards some times. I was with someone I wasn't with before and she was really good. I think her name was Lindsay and she has a 3 year old named Carter. I am very pleased with my cut. I got my side bangs back and got it thinned out. I am not lieing when I say I lost 5lbs of hair. 

After being at home for the day I was bored and because I've been sick I haven't been doing much so I told Dey to get ahold of our friends James and Diana to see what they were doing. They were going out for James birthday and asked if we wanted to go. I was all too happy to say yes. I decided before we left that we would take a family selfie. 

We decided to try Dominic in a high chair... It didn't last long nor did it work so well he hasn't quite grasped the sitting in a chair thing yet. At least not in one that is super wide or without a tray. 

He sat between us for about 5 minutes. 

We went back to James and Diana's for dessert and we, being myself and Diana, decided to have some fun with the kids. Amelia finally warmed up to us and Dominic and we made him her baby in her dolly stroller. 

Today we bought a jolly jumper with the frame because we don't have doorframes for it to attach to. I love it as does Dominic. But we didn't buy this until  after we left Deys friends house. Their names are Pam and Kyle and they have 3 kids under the age of 4. 1 girl and 2 boys, the girl being the oldest. The youngest boy ate chalk, the middle boy drew on himself with a marker and the little girl loved climbing on the fence. A family full of fun. You would think I wouldn't want many kids seeing how hectic they were but it made me want them even more!! Pam and Kyle are super nice and fun and I want to hang out more. 
I have had a surprisingly good weekend and I want there to be many more like this. I know that tomorrow is technically still the weekend but by the time we get out of church it's late and we can't do a whole lot. 
I love that summer is upon us. Let the good times roll! 

Thursday, June 5, 2014


Tonight is a night where I just want to be honest about some things.
1. I feel as if I don't have any friends anymore with the exception of 3 people from work and then a couple of others. It seems like ever since I got married people have decided that they don't like my husband and have not been very nice or accepting of him and it has honestly made me really hurt.
I have friends who will not say anything more than a simple "hello" to him and if he asks them a question trying to start a conversation there is nothing but 1 word answers that come out of them and there's no trying from their end to make the conversation work.
It has been hard and quite saddening and has made me really upset.
2. I also feel that because I have a baby people don't want to hang out with me because it is harder for me to get around because Dey has the car every day and Dominic is really not enjoying being in a stroller. I had a child not a lobotomy. I'm still the same girl who sits on the couch and watches TV.
Do you ever feel like you're being used by people because I sure do.
3. I have been extremely home sick for some time now and I cannot wait to go back but its taking what seems like FOREVER. I don't want to live in Calgary anymore, and if we do decide to move I will be sad to say goodbye to a few people.
I do not want to move to Ontario but Dey will not move to Nova Scotia. I am hoping that once we go home to visit he will be more open to the idea. I think that being in NS will be better and we will have more of a social life, outside of family, than we would in ON. I have so many friends that I miss and I know I would be closer to again if we were to just move there, and I know that they would love Dey and be accepting of him. If he can slowly win over my parents then he is a great man. I really don't want to go to ON but I have a feeling I am fighting a losing battle.
4. I DO NOT want to go back to work. That place has fallen apart in the past 4 months since I have been there and it's making me wonder what is going on and why cant they seem to keep people??? I am not looking forward to leaving Dominic. I sometimes think about saving up my money from EI and paying them back so I don't have to come back. But I don't plan on being there too long because I already know when I plan on getting pregnant again and that time I will not sign an agreement to go back.
5. I hate where I live. And by that I mean the house that we live in. I hate basements and I hate that our landlord doesn't seem to want to upkeep this place. I have found many spiders this week and I thing a large part of it is because the carpet is so horrible that a carpet cleaner wont even clean it. I wear my shoes everyday in the house. The only reason we are still here is because it is so cheap.
I am sure there are more things I could touch on tonight but I have been sick this week and I'm pretty sure Dominic is teething so it has not been easy on me. He is sleeping now and I should be also.
Goodnight world, it's been a slice.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Crank Pot

Last week Dominic started to get really cranky and it seemed that every time I put him down or wasn't less than 5 feet away from him he would get upset. Needless to say not a lot got done last week. He and I have spent so much time together that hes becoming a mommas boy and now lays his head on my shoulder when hes sad or tired.  Then on Friday we went to Edmonton.
Dominic hates his car seat and at first he was doing so well on the drive. I drove and Dey stayed in the back seat with him to keep him company because he just really doesn't like being alone these days and he slept for a good bit of it. Once he woke up he started to cry and we had to pull over in some po-dunk town and just go to some side road and I fed him in the front seat. It was so hot in the car that he only wore a onesie and was still sweating. He calmed down and then about 20 minutes later he started screaming bloody murder again and we had to pull over and take him out of his seat and let him stretch his legs. Dey decided to drive the last 25 minutes to my brothers house and I stayed in the back with him.
Friday night we just hung out with Jeremy, Kim is in Utah, and we had some food and then we watched some TV. Dominic did so well sleeping that he slept through the night for the first time in weeks but when he woke up he was so hungry that he over ate and when he burped he burped up a good portion of what he ate all over me. I was not impressed because I only brought one set of pj's.
Dey had some people he was supposed to meet up with and so we went and got lunch with them and then met Jeremy at West Ed. Jeremy and I went on the roller coaster because we both like them and Dey watched Dominic. Of course Dominic went crazy and was super cranky and Dey had to leave galaxy land and was cranky for the rest of the time and wouldn't stay in his stroller. He also met up with some friends while we were at the mall and then finally we went home to Jeremy and just watched some more TV and then went to bed. We started the series "Modern Family" and its awesome.
We got up sunday and met up with Cortney and her mom for stake conference. We left to have lunch with Deys friend and then proceeded to drive home. Dey drove home and luckily Dominic slept the whole way home pretty much.
I'm not sure if he is teething or what but he has just been a crank pot for over a week now. I'm wondering if it could be his cereal, but he loves his cereal and its nice not having to feed him every 2.5-3 hours.
I love my son, but he can be difficult some times. I'm hoping that if it is teeth that he hurries up because him biting my hand and needing me constantly is a bit taxing.
I feel like I'm a horrible mom because I get frustrated and I cant seem to get things done. I still have over a months worth of laundry to fold and put away.
But hey I love my life and I wouldn't change it.