My baby girl finally came into the world on December 20th 2016 at 6pm weighing 9lbs 6oz and 20.5" long. Before I get into too much details about her birth lets go back a couple weeks...
I was desperately hoping this little girl would be early like her brother was. I was due Dec 16th and was thinking Dec 10th would have been a great day to have a baby because I was already done work and my vacation time would have been over as well. My last day working was Nov 30th but I used my remaining vacation time so my official last day of work was Dec 9th, so that's why I wanted the 10th to be the day little girl made her appearance. I've learned that babies come when they want to no matter what you do.
I was having random Braxton hicks contractions and throughout my entire pregnancy she would sit really low a lot of the time and kick me real hard in my cervix. I went in for my 39 week appointment a couple of days before I was officially 39 weeks and I had a stretch done. I was already at 3cm and they could get me to a 5 and more than 50% effaced. I was hoping that this would mean baby was making her appearance that weekend. I had also passed the plug and continued to pass it for quite some time.
Throughout the week I would wake up in the middle of the night with more Braxton hicks thinking that my contractions were starting. With Dominic my water broke first before anything had started so I really wasn't sure what to expect this time around. only 10% of women's water break before labor. Sadly I made it to my 40 week appointment with no signs of baby coming. I decided to have another stretch done and this time I was at 5cm and they could get my to an 8. Again I thought that baby was coming any day. This was on a Wednesday.. Mia came on the Tuesday... the stretches for me did nothing other than dilate me more. My midwife told me I should prepare for a home birth because there's a good chance I wouldn't make it to the hospital. (yes I went midwife this time and I wouldn't have it any other way. They are amazing!!) Hospital birth was my plan and I live super close to the hospital, so the idea of a home birth stressed me out. I wanted to be where to drugs were just in case I needed a section again. Carol couldn't believe I wasn't in labor yet at this appointment because of how far I was. But we agreed that when I started having contractions not to wait too long to call them because I would need to get to the hospital and there was no point in them coming to my house to asses me to see if I was in labor because odds are I would be in active labor rather fast.
We decided that on Sunday we better just load all the bags in the car just in case something were to happen while we were at church or out so it would be easier for us. We also installed the car seat as well. We had my hospital bag, Dey's hospital bag (just in case I had to stay there for a C-section) and Dominic's bag for the people's house who were going to watch him for us while we were at the hospital.
A few days went by and it brings us to Tuesday. I woke up that morning, as I did every morning, yelling at my belly telling this baby to get out. Dey always went to Gene and Lisa's house (friends of ours who offered to watch Dominic for us) to practice for work and I decided to go that morning because I needed to get out of the house. The week prior was crazy cold so it was nice that it wasn't so cold and I just felt so cooped up and anxious so I decided to roll out of bed, literally, and throw some clothes on and go with him just to visit with Lisa while the boys did their thing. We had planned on only being there until around 12, but things kept coming up and they had to keep making calls and figuring something out. Lisa made us all pancakes and we sat around eating and visiting some more. We looked at the clock and it read 2pm and decided we would leave shortly thereafter once Dey finished up his last thing he was working on. Then the clock read 2:18 and I felt a little cramp and thought, here's another Braxton hick contraction. Then a couple minutes later another one came and it was a little stronger than the last. Then 5 minutes went by and another one came and then 2 minutes later a stronger one came. I was still denying that I was in labor because of all the false contractions had previously. So I finally called my midwife around 3 and Wendy was the one on call so I told her everything that was happening. She called foothills to see if there were any beds available and then she called me back. We decided she would triage me at the hospital because I was a little further away from the hospital and we would go from there. Luckily there was a bed available and so we left Dominic at Gene and Lisa's (thankfully we were already at their house so we didn't have to drop him off or make them come and get him) and we headed to the hospital. My contractions were really strong and coming every minute or so. I told Dey this was the one time I would be ok with him speeding.
Foothills has constructions happening so we agreed that Dey would drop me off at the door, go find parking and I would meet the midwives in the lobby and Dey would come find us afterwards.
Well he dropped me out front, I stepped out of the car and had a contraction. A lady came over and asked if I needed help and if I was in labor and if I wanted a wheel chair. I said I should be fine but thanks any way. Once the contraction stopped I walked inside, saw Carol and Wendy and had another contraction. Once done we walked to the elevator (maybe 15 steps away) and I had another contraction. I had another one in the elevator and Wendy goes "No need to triage you, you're definitely in labor" and after she said that I had another contraction. We got to the desk and I had another contraction. And then another one before we were even allowed in the L&D ward. Once we got passed the doors I had to stop because, of course, another contraction was happening. I told Wendy I felt like I needed to poop and I was so hot so I started taking my jacket off there in the hallway. The feeling of needing to poop was because baby's head was so low. This is something I never felt with Dominic so it was all new to me and I wasn't sure if I needed to poop or if it was in fact her head. I finally made it to the room and they helped me get my pants off so they could asses me. I said sorry for my hair legs, but I was planning on shaving them when we got back from Gene and Lisa's because I didn't think things would happen while we were there. So I didn't even get to have a shower that day! My plans on how I was going to look and have my hair for delivery did not happen. They checked me over and I was at an 8 and dying to push. They let me have the gas but said I couldn't get the epidural. So here I was sucking that gas like crazy and Dey was there now, and I asked them how long they thought I would be to get from 8 to 10. They didn't answer me. It was now roughly around 4pm. They asked me if I remembered if I was group B positive or negative and while I was sucking the gas I sang out "negative" and they all laughed. Let me tell you, I LOVE the gas and I think its really funny being high. However, it doesn't do a whole lot to take the pain away, it just makes it a little easier to deal with the intensity of the pain. When I'm in pain I tend to fidget a lot and so I was on my side, still wearing my bra, tank top and shirt, and almost falling off the table because of how I was moving to deal with the pain. I vaguely remember them telling me it was time to push and they wanted me to give up the gas. I didn't want to give it up and tried pushing with it. They finally took it from me and I said "I push better with it" and they said "no, you don't. you aren't even pushing".. so no gas for me. They had to break my water and honestly, I remember the pressure from it and so I pushed when they did it. It felt like something exploded and Wendy yelled "woah!" and also got a little wet because things really did just explode. I somehow found a pole at the back of the bed and I was holding into it for dear life. They would want me to hold my own legs and I told them I couldn't do that because I needed to hold this pole. I also was holding Dey's hand, which he later showed me the nail marks I left and said that he thought I was going to break it. While pushing I begged them for the drugs and they kept saying no and I also begged for a C-section because I just wanted her out so bad. But things clearly were past the point where a section would happen.
I remember people telling me about things feeling like a ring of fire and oh my gosh were they ever right. I thought someone was taking a lighter and holding it to my skin down there and I did not want to feel that anymore. I could feel her there and wanted her out so bad, but with each push she just wasn't coming out. With every push I would pray that it would be the last push, but it just wasn't. Carol and Wendy would tell me I was almost there and one more push and Dey would repeat them, and I looked at him and said "you don't know what you are talking about so I don't want to hear you saying this! They are professionals so I'm listening to them!" I remember saying that I just couldn't push anymore and I wanted to cry. Carol (who to me is the softer more gentle spoken midwife) grabbed my face and made me open my eyes and put her finger in my face and said "Vanessa you have to do this and you can so do it!" and she said it rather stern and so I pushed. They brought in the OB because Mia's heartrate had dropped a little so they had to call them, but then it picked back up so they sent them away. I was offered the vacuum because her head was in there and not coming out and because I was so over pushing and exhausted and in pain I said yes, do it. I apologized to Carol and Wendy for me saying yes to it but I just wanted her out.
When they vacuum the baby out they freeze you.. well I could feel the needle through the contractions and I could also feel the vacuum and it was not pleasant at all!! But after a few more pushing with the vacuum they told me to stop and her head come out and her body just kinda slithered out after it. SHE WAS HERE! I was so happy she was here and that I didn't have to push anymore. I remember passing the placenta and feeling it come out as well. Carol asked if I wanted to see it and I said no. She did however, show Dey and explain everything that they look at and how the coloring of it indicated that Mia was ready to come out because the placenta in a way dying.
One of the first things they said about Mia was " you don't normally see a double chin on a new born.", "check out that tongue!" and "woah she has a big head! you'll never have an issue birthing a big baby now that you did this!" which I then told Dey " we are NEVER having sex again!" haha they also asked me who has a big head and I said I do and Carol goes "well then you only have yourself to blame!" thanks Carol.
One of the first things I said about Mia when I saw her for the first time was "she looks like my dad! its a little Barry"
Mia wasn't handed to me right away because there was poop in the fluid so they needed to get her all sorted out, and also I had a 2nd degree tear so I needed to be sewn. I asked for the gas back and they gave it to me. I remember telling the lady stitching me that she needed to leave me alone and shewed her away. She said "its not the first time I've been asked to vacate the area."
When Dominic was born I was concerned that he wouldn't have all his fingers and toes, so I had made Dey double check to be sure he had them all. Once he got to see her and came over to me he told me all fingers and toes were accounted for... this time that wasn't my first concern. I looked at him and "is she still a girl!?" he said yes. I was so concerned this pregnancy that they were wrong with what they saw. I know too many people who have been told the wrong thing. I even felt like it was a boy the whole time and I also compared her gender picture from the ultrasound to others on the internet to see if it looked the same.
Once I was all stitched up I was in a lot of pain. My tailbone was killing me. And then we realized I didn't pee while I was there so they wanted me to go to the bathroom and get in the tub to soak. As I got up I almost fell over. I had this crazy sinking pulling feeling in my belly that made me so dizzy that I almost passed out. They got me to the toilet and I sat down and steadied myself. The dizziness passed and I tried to pee. It just wasn't working and things hurt a lot. So I got in the tub and tried to pee while I was in there. Carol brought me apple juice, cheese and peanut butter toast to eat while in the tub. I could not pee for the life of me. So they said I would need a catheter and stay over night. They decided since I was staying overnight and Mia's glucose levels were borderline low they would monitor those too.
I got into my shared room (bigger than the last one I had with Dominic) and Dey stayed for a bit after we called everyone and then went home. I had to wait until later the next day after Mia's levels were up and after I peed twice without the catheter in. That came around 430pm. I was so happy to be leaving. I also loved that Dey brought Dominic in to see her that day and that he wasn't upset about there being a baby around. It was so sweet.
That first night was just as rough as the first night home with Dominic. Poor Mia wasn't latching properly because of her long tongue and was starving and screaming bloody murder. I was so sore and didn't know what to do. After almost 10 hours of her screaming I called my midwives and asked what to do and if I should give her formula. They said it would be ok. I finally got her to settle down and then Carol came by for our in house visit. She came again later that day to help me because we got a prescription for nipple cream because mine were so raw and got a nipple shield to see if it would help her latch on properly. The shield did nothing for her and she still didn't latch on. So I pumped and formula fed for the first week because my milk supply wasn't enough yet to keep her full.
Dominic never really ever spit up, this girl was and still is a big spatter upper. She is my chunky monkey and eats all the time. it took her a week to learn how to latch on and once she did she wouldn't touch a bottle. She still wont touch a bottle and she also wont take a soother. Its been a long almost 3 months. She's a crier, however she's calmed down a lot since being home in NS which is great.
This little girl has been hard to love and hard to feel connected to. She has made me question myself as a mother more than I ever did with Dominic. I have gotten angry at her for crying and have had to put her down and distance myself from her for fear I would snap. I have felt like a horrible mom because she has been so demanding and the time I have had for Dominic has been slim and also I have been too tired to do anything with him during the time I did have for him.
Things have gotten better and I have fallen in love with Mia. I love my family and I am so blessed to have them in my lives. I know I am not done having kids and already long for another baby to be brought into this world.
I love you little Mia girl and I am so honored to be your mom!