Friday, June 22, 2012

I Work Out!

Laura the other day came home and said that she found someone who had the work out videos "Insanity" and that she uploaded them to her computer and that she was going to try it out. I had heard of this before and I heard that it was CRRRRRAAAAAZZZZZYYYY!!!
Well let me tell you this... IT IS!
Laura did the Day 1 fit test and told me that I should try it. So when I got home from work I thought about it and decided that I would give it a go.
It was crazy! I couldnt do a whole lot of everything but I pushed myself to do as much as I could. Yesterday was Day 2 and well, Kayla had a good laugh because I was yelling and looked ridiculous! Today I am so sore, but in the end I know that it will be worth it.
If you dont know what this is, here is a video!

Since getting my new job, which I love and has made me so happy, I have put on a few pounds. Now Im not saying that I am by any means fat, but there are some problem areas that I have. I had issues with my weight when I was in Junior High and High Shcool, but when I moved to Edmonton I lost a bunch of weight and felt good about myself. Heres the thing that not a lot of people know, after I lost a lot of weight because I couldnt afford food I got scared that I would put the weight back on because I finally could afford to get real groceries. This fear that I had kept me from eating. I chose not to eat a whole lot because I didnt want to gain the weight back. I made sure that I didnt eat some days because of this reason. I was stupid and not a smart eater.  Over the last few years I got better at actually eating and I put on a few pounds, but nothing too drastic because I was always on my feet all day and there was a time where I would run a few times a week. When I hurt my knee I stopped running but again because of where I worked I stayed pretty active everyday. Now at RECA I sit for about 97% of my day and when you sit and arent overly busy you start to snack. Now this is NOT a good thing to do. I have put on weight in areas I never thought possible. Im not saying I want to lose a lot of weight, but a few pounds would be nice and I want to tone my body. I think that the tonning part will help out with all the other areas that I seem to be having issues with lately.
This is all why I want to continue doing Insanity. Yes it is nice to look good when I go out or wear a certain outfit, and Yes it does feel great when you go into a store and you fit into a size that you deam acceptable. But for me its not all about the looking good part. Its more about feeling good with your body. I want to wake up in the morning and not think "Oh man I am a fatty cakes today" or "I wish I felt better about myself". I want to wake up in the morning knowing that I am doing something about the way I feel about myself, and be proud of who I am. Now Im not saying I want to be size 2 but I do want to feel confortable in whatever size I wear and I think that by doing this I will accomplish that goal.
Plus Lauras wedding is coming up in a few months and I want to look good!!
So today I am sore, but am proud of myself for doing this.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Monday, Monday, Monday

Today I woke up with many things on my mind. And They are all things that I am grateful for so I thought that I would take the time to share them with you as well! : )

First off, pretty much every morning I wake up and think about if I have fed my bunny the night before or not. Now this bunny is my first pet besides the 2 fish I had for a few months years ago, and I dont think that they really count. My bunnies name is whatever you want to call him because I just call him Bunny, Laura calls him Willie, and Kayla (who is allergic) calls him Hey Man. Then there is Michelle, who met him for the first time on Saturday night and the first thing she said to me was "Is this what having a child is like!? Instant Love!??" Im not sure if it is the exact same, but he is quite loveable!
When I face timed Lyla so that she could meet "Nessa's Pet" I asked her what she wanted to name him and at first she said Lyla, but I informed her it was a boy so she said Fayad! That is the name of her little friend from pre school. I thought it was random and funny that she would pick that name out of all of them.

I also woke up wishing it were October already because I am more than excited about going to Carrie Underwood and Justin Bieber! These are 2 concerts I have been wanting to see for a long time now and the fact that I now live in a Province that gets good concerts makes me more than delighted!!! I am also happy that Laura will be attending these with me!!! It is going to be a blast!!!! : )

So I am starting a not so real countdown, and by that I mean that I really have no sweet clue how many days are actually left. But I know that its only a few weeks away until Jeremy and Kim get married! I am so excited to go home and see my family and be apart of this day. Its going to be a super quick trip but it will be well worth it. I love Kim! She is great! I like knowing that I was the first person in my family (besides Jeremy of course) to have met her! Some times is pays off living some what close to my brother!

Now onto the countdown that I am not looking forward to AT ALL! So there are only about 4 days left living with Kayla and well I am not happy about it at all. I met Kayla at EFY in 2010 and we were roommates second week. Now Im not saying we became BFF's right away, but there was a friendship developed and we kept some what in contact over the next year and then this past summer at EFY we got even closer and I told her she needed to move to Calgary and well, after about a month of convincing her to do so, she did! We have become quite close and share many similarities in our personalities and share many of the same interests in a variety of things. I know that she will only be about an 8 hour drive away but thats a pretty far drive for just a visit, especially because our rooms were next to each other so when I wanted to hang out I just had to knock on her door. I have a few close friends, and it worries me that the distance will hinder our friendship, and I dont want that to happen because I like having her as a friend. She has become one of my very best friends and I dont want her to leave. Odds are this weekend I will cry when I have to say goodbye to her, and so thats going to suck. It feels so weird knowing that she will be moving away.  

Well to end things off I just want to say that I am greatful for all of the things listed above (except for the whole Kayla moving part). I have seen a lot of good changes in my life over the past little while and for that I am also greatful. I am working hard at making my life the best that it can be and even though there are times when it seems impossible, I know that it can happen and it will, and for that I am also greatful. I have seen many blessings in my life and I know that without the Lords help and the help of 2 very close friends I wouldnt be where I am right now.
I am Happy!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Oh My Gosh! I Have A Life!???

There have been many days where I have wished that I had a life. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to take it easy and just do nothing on the weekends, but there have been many times when I just wished I had something to do or people to hang out with. Well, last week my friend Jon told about how there was a "Mid Singles Conference" happening on the weekend and that I should go. I IMMEDIATELY dismissed the idea because 1. The age limit was 27 and 2. I was NOT ready to accept the whole "mid singles" title. I made the mistake of telling Jon that if he would go swimming last Wednesday that I would go to the activity on the Friday... Of course he showed up. I was little disappointed that he actually did because I am never one to back down from a promise that has been made.
So onto Friday, Kayla was going to Medicine Hat and since I dont have my own car, She left hers to ensure that I didnt have any reason to not go to the Conference. Looking back on everything that has happened over the weekend I am more than glad that she did leave me her car.
Friday night there was a mix n mingle section and then they did... SPEED DATING! hahahaha
I was happy because they made the girls get paired up into twos and my friend Kara was in town for the same thing so we paired up together. Then the "dating" started. They made the guys rotate from room to room, and there were 2 girls to 1 guy and that is why the girls got paired up.
At one point Kara had to go to the bathroom and I was left alone to deal with the upcoming "dates" and I wasnt sure how I felt about the whole situation yet so I wasnt too pleased about being alone at this point. One guy came through and immediately the conversation just flowed. It was light hearted and funny. When the lights flickered to signal the rotation he and I kept talking but it wasnt fair to the next people so we ended the conversation. Over the remainder of the activity all I wanted to do was talk to this guy again. I wasnt sure why but I just really wanted to talk more with this guy. It didnt help that he wouldnt tell me where he was from so I just HAD to know.
After waiting around with Kara in hopes of me making enough of a first impression that he would want to talk to me too, He and his friend finally made their way towards me.
Me being the stupid girl that I am I got a little giddy, but I didnt let it show.
After talking for a bit we decided that we were all hungry and didnt want to call it a night just yet, so we decided a little late night eating was in order. We went to BP's and it was a fun night full of whitty banter and comical conversation. I was in heaven. I felt at ease around people I didnt really know that well, and I was also just having a good time. For once I was doing something for me and only me and I was having a good time.
So this boy ended up wanting to hang out a little more and he came and hung out at my house and we just spent hours talking and it was nice to just be in my own element and not have to worry about the thoughts of others around me and be able to be myself. I have issues trying to be myself around people for fear of judgment and not being good enough. I have many insecurities and hate feeling vulnerable so I dont let myself be open very often or easily. But with the conversation that was being had I found myself being more open than I intended to be. I didnt spill out my life story but I still let myself relax a little more than what is normal for me.
So after great conversation and very little sleep, Saturday rolled around and I found myself with a slight crush and really excited to attend the dance!
The dance was pretty good considering I didnt have any real "girl" friends to dance with but I made the most of it and had a good time.
I got to dance with this boy to the first dance and it was nice being able to dance with someone that I didnt have to ask to dance with. Boys are clueless some times and they dont see that girls want to dance with them. This boy however is not like the others. It was refreshing.
After the dance we hung out and again very little sleep was had but I was left feeling even more interested than before.
Sunday came and so did church. It was fun because we had the meetings in where EFY had classes and it brought back a lot of memories and it made me feel as if I needed to tell people to shut up haha.
After church there was a BBQ and there were stolen glances from across the room, little touches as we passed each other, lame excuses of needing help. All in all it was a good day. Again that night there was very little sleep but it was worth it.
I couldnt sleep that night becaus I had a horrible headache and it just wasnt letting up. It didnt help that I didnt eat anything that day and barely anything the day before. This has started talk amoung the guys thinking that I have an eating disorder... I DO NOT! Sometimes you feel as if you are hungry but then food just isnt appealing and you lose your appetite.
I saw the guys again Monday night, but there was some girl who was around and like I said before, I am done competing for someone. Im tired of having to fight when in the end I wont get what I want especially in this case because this guy doesnt live in Calgary. He is from Toronto but lives in Austrailia. Not fair! I am the one who always fall for the guys who are either Jerks, Unavailable emotionally, not interested, or dont live anywhere near me. Yup! just my luck.
But the point to this story being told is the fact that for the first time in a long time, I have had a great weekend and I did it all on my own. I didnt have to go out with my roommates to have a good time. I got to have a life all on my own and I am more than happy that I did.
25 is starting to look up after all!! : )