Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Oh My Gosh! I Have A Life!???

There have been many days where I have wished that I had a life. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to take it easy and just do nothing on the weekends, but there have been many times when I just wished I had something to do or people to hang out with. Well, last week my friend Jon told about how there was a "Mid Singles Conference" happening on the weekend and that I should go. I IMMEDIATELY dismissed the idea because 1. The age limit was 27 and 2. I was NOT ready to accept the whole "mid singles" title. I made the mistake of telling Jon that if he would go swimming last Wednesday that I would go to the activity on the Friday... Of course he showed up. I was little disappointed that he actually did because I am never one to back down from a promise that has been made.
So onto Friday, Kayla was going to Medicine Hat and since I dont have my own car, She left hers to ensure that I didnt have any reason to not go to the Conference. Looking back on everything that has happened over the weekend I am more than glad that she did leave me her car.
Friday night there was a mix n mingle section and then they did... SPEED DATING! hahahaha
I was happy because they made the girls get paired up into twos and my friend Kara was in town for the same thing so we paired up together. Then the "dating" started. They made the guys rotate from room to room, and there were 2 girls to 1 guy and that is why the girls got paired up.
At one point Kara had to go to the bathroom and I was left alone to deal with the upcoming "dates" and I wasnt sure how I felt about the whole situation yet so I wasnt too pleased about being alone at this point. One guy came through and immediately the conversation just flowed. It was light hearted and funny. When the lights flickered to signal the rotation he and I kept talking but it wasnt fair to the next people so we ended the conversation. Over the remainder of the activity all I wanted to do was talk to this guy again. I wasnt sure why but I just really wanted to talk more with this guy. It didnt help that he wouldnt tell me where he was from so I just HAD to know.
After waiting around with Kara in hopes of me making enough of a first impression that he would want to talk to me too, He and his friend finally made their way towards me.
Me being the stupid girl that I am I got a little giddy, but I didnt let it show.
After talking for a bit we decided that we were all hungry and didnt want to call it a night just yet, so we decided a little late night eating was in order. We went to BP's and it was a fun night full of whitty banter and comical conversation. I was in heaven. I felt at ease around people I didnt really know that well, and I was also just having a good time. For once I was doing something for me and only me and I was having a good time.
So this boy ended up wanting to hang out a little more and he came and hung out at my house and we just spent hours talking and it was nice to just be in my own element and not have to worry about the thoughts of others around me and be able to be myself. I have issues trying to be myself around people for fear of judgment and not being good enough. I have many insecurities and hate feeling vulnerable so I dont let myself be open very often or easily. But with the conversation that was being had I found myself being more open than I intended to be. I didnt spill out my life story but I still let myself relax a little more than what is normal for me.
So after great conversation and very little sleep, Saturday rolled around and I found myself with a slight crush and really excited to attend the dance!
The dance was pretty good considering I didnt have any real "girl" friends to dance with but I made the most of it and had a good time.
I got to dance with this boy to the first dance and it was nice being able to dance with someone that I didnt have to ask to dance with. Boys are clueless some times and they dont see that girls want to dance with them. This boy however is not like the others. It was refreshing.
After the dance we hung out and again very little sleep was had but I was left feeling even more interested than before.
Sunday came and so did church. It was fun because we had the meetings in where EFY had classes and it brought back a lot of memories and it made me feel as if I needed to tell people to shut up haha.
After church there was a BBQ and there were stolen glances from across the room, little touches as we passed each other, lame excuses of needing help. All in all it was a good day. Again that night there was very little sleep but it was worth it.
I couldnt sleep that night becaus I had a horrible headache and it just wasnt letting up. It didnt help that I didnt eat anything that day and barely anything the day before. This has started talk amoung the guys thinking that I have an eating disorder... I DO NOT! Sometimes you feel as if you are hungry but then food just isnt appealing and you lose your appetite.
I saw the guys again Monday night, but there was some girl who was around and like I said before, I am done competing for someone. Im tired of having to fight when in the end I wont get what I want especially in this case because this guy doesnt live in Calgary. He is from Toronto but lives in Austrailia. Not fair! I am the one who always fall for the guys who are either Jerks, Unavailable emotionally, not interested, or dont live anywhere near me. Yup! just my luck.
But the point to this story being told is the fact that for the first time in a long time, I have had a great weekend and I did it all on my own. I didnt have to go out with my roommates to have a good time. I got to have a life all on my own and I am more than happy that I did.
25 is starting to look up after all!! : )

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