Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Dear Dominic

Dear Dominic,
You have changed my life in so many ways. I have always known that I loved babies and that I wanted them, but when the time came down to it that I was my time to be a mom I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. There was no turning back when the test read yes. I had many feelings go through me over the course of being pregnant.... a big one being that I hated being pregnant.
The early morning when I knew you were coming (turned out to be the next morning when you finally arrived) I was scared out of my mind. I wasn't sure what to expect and I wanted to keep you inside forever! I wasn't ready for you just yet, and thought I had more time, but you were ready for me!
You came in a fashion that I wasn't expecting at all and really wasn't happy about, but you came into this world and everything changed. When the doctors said I had a beautiful baby boy I laid there on the operating table and yelled out "I have a baby!!" I didn't cry like I thought I would because I think I was too tired (it had been over 24 hours) and hungry and pumped full of drugs. But boy was I excited to meet you. I was so excited that minutes after you arrived I yelled out "are we done yet?" and the doctors all laughed. I wasn't joking, I wanted to be stitched up and holding my baby. It was another 40 minutes or so until they wheeled me into recovery and I got to actually look at you real good. Sorry for saying you looked like an alien... it was the drugs...
It is amazing how instantly the love I didn't know I had for you grew in a tremendous way. You were not just some baby I got to hold, you were MY baby. You were my dream come true. You are the reason I am alive today. I was meant to be your mother and you my son.
It is crazy to think that we were destined to be together, but it's the truth.
Your father loves you so much as well and I know he is jealous  about some of the things that we get to share, as if it is our own secret club. Your father loves you just as much as I do, but you are the only one who has heard my heartbeat from the inside. You grew inside of me, and although it was not a pleasant experience for me, I would do it all again in a heartbeat because you were the reward.
You are the perfect little boy. You have such attitude already and are growing in so many ways. You amaze me with how fast you learn things and how easily you love when you don't really understand the meaning just yet.
Your love is a pure love that has yet to be introduced to the bad things of this world. I pray that you will always love as if you are child, without any reservations, and that you continue to learn and grow, although it pains me to see you growing so fast.
I wish that you will always speak your mind, as you do already, and that you are willing to be kind to those around you.
I hope that you will stop pulling hair and pinching and that you will learn that being gentle is a good thing. Girl will be upset if you do this to them, and guys will probably punch you for it.
You are my son, my first born, my love and my life. I am grateful that I am your momma and that no matter what I will always be there for you.
Dominic Jensen Rivera, thank you for completing my life and making it whole and for making me your mother.
I love you crazy amounts.
Love Mom

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Dropped the Ball

I was told the other day... maybe the other week... I cant remember when exactly but it's been a while since I have blogged. It looks like the last time I blogged was the beginning of May and so I guess I will start from there...

May: I finally, after 10+ years went to the dentist for a cleaning/check up. It was the most painful cleaning I have ever had and probably the most profitable one for my dentist because what they found is probably making them a pretty penny. I will be honest, I HATE the dentist and have anxiety about it and for the longest time I didnt have coverage so I didnt go. Then when I did have coverage I couldnt find one who did direct billing and was accepting patients so I said it didnt matter. I have had some minor issues somedays with my teeth but didnt really care. Now I will be very honest, even though it is embarrassing for me, they found 14 cavities, one of those may result in a root canal and that doesnt include my 3 wisdom teeth that have cavities that need to be taken out via surgery. Yup! Thats me!! Ive always been very pronged to cavities so I wasnt that surprised. Luckily I have coverage and it looks like all of it will be covered so yay me! They did also say that when you are pregnant your saliva becomes more acidic and can eat away at your teeth faster... I took that to mean that all of these issues are from being pregnant with Dominic and before that I had the picture perfect mouth!! Speaking of mouths, I have a tiny mouth with tiny teeth and I was told a few times while I was there how small they were and how the xray thingy didnt fit in my itty bitty mouth. Needless to say I have already had 2 fillings, I have another 3/4 coming up Aug. 19th and my wisdom teeth surgery August 28th, Im getting sedated for that one so watch out! Im glad I went so I can keep my mouth clean and ready.
In May I also turned 28! It's crazy!! Cort came down from Edmonton to celebrate and we saw pitch perfect 2!! Not as good as the first one but still awesome.
Oh!! Also my mom surprised me and showed up for a birthday! Honestly it was the best and so unexpected. I had been bugging her for some time to come and see me and I guess for months she had it planned so Dey picked her up late one night and when I walked out in the morning in just my garments I was shocked because there she was and I kind of half screamed and quickly turned the light back off and went back to my room to find clothes and tell Dey she was there who had known about it and he tried to play it off like he didnt know how she got in the house! it was the long weekend so that worked out and I was able to take the friday off as well after my birthday so we could spend time together. Honestly it was great and I was so happy she came out and surprised me.
June kinda came and went and I really dont think anything overly special happened at all. I was just basically working my tail off because we re launched our system and it has been super crazy ever since.
July, so far, has been busy and I also had a week off because Dey went to Atlanta and instead of paying for someone to watch Dominic I thought it was better to just get paid to do it myself. So I did and I loved it! Honestly it made going back to work so much harder and made me feel like I did in January when I came back after mat leave.
About a year ago or more I saw these wraps that people were selling that help you lose inches and I its all natural and they were supposedly amazing and I wanted to try them. Unfortunately, I didnt have the money for it then so I said nevermind. Then I saw them every where but still didnt have the money for it. Then when I cam back to work I saw a friend of mine was selling them and talked it over with Dey and decided that it was a good time to try them out. So I did it and immediately fell in love. I saw a difference in me after just 1 wrap so I thought "why dont I sign up to be a distributor and make a little extra on the side?" I also have the idea that this could be my way out of working because I know so many people on our team who have been able to make enough to support themselves and their families and it is my inspiration. I am in love with these products and I have been feeling so much better about myself using them. My mom told me I'm just gonna lose weight to get pregnant again, which could be true, but I would rather lose some weight now so that way when the baby weight goes on I'm not further away from my goal than I was before.

This weekend we are driving down to Utah for a mini family vacation/reunion. Jeremy, Kim and Greyson live there and Josh is there visiting for a month or so, my parents and Lyla are flying out on Friday and we are driving down Friday night! Honestly I cannot wait to see them and just have fun together. I'm not looking forward to the drive down with Dominic but we will make it work. We are getting family pictures and I cannot wait to see how they turn out!!!

Life is great and I am done my contract with work so I would like to be pregnant soon so I can go on leave again and make money doing it through it works! Maybe I can sustain a life with it! here's to hoping I can get what I want out of life with the help of this amazing product!!