tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30630678465223172302024-02-06T23:38:39.992-08:00VANESSA RIVERA"WE NEVER KNOW THE LOVE OF THE PARENT UNTIL WE BECOME PARENTS OURSELVES" - HENRY WARD BEECHERVanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.comBlogger147125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-10497500717083615682017-03-09T08:09:00.000-08:002017-03-09T08:09:09.014-08:00Mia Daphne Ninette Rivera Birth Story (graphic)My baby girl finally came into the world on December 20th 2016 at 6pm weighing 9lbs 6oz and 20.5" long. Before I get into too much details about her birth lets go back a couple weeks... <br />
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I was desperately hoping this little girl would be early like her brother was. I was due Dec 16th and was thinking Dec 10th would have been a great day to have a baby because I was already done work and my vacation time would have been over as well. My last day working was Nov 30th but I used my remaining vacation time so my official last day of work was Dec 9th, so that's why I wanted the 10th to be the day little girl made her appearance. I've learned that babies come when they want to no matter what you do. <br />
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I was having random Braxton hicks contractions and throughout my entire pregnancy she would sit really low a lot of the time and kick me real hard in my cervix. I went in for my 39 week appointment a couple of days before I was officially 39 weeks and I had a stretch done. I was already at 3cm and they could get me to a 5 and more than 50% effaced. I was hoping that this would mean baby was making her appearance that weekend. I had also passed the plug and continued to pass it for quite some time. <br />
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Throughout the week I would wake up in the middle of the night with more Braxton hicks thinking that my contractions were starting. With Dominic my water broke first before anything had started so I really wasn't sure what to expect this time around. only 10% of women's water break before labor. Sadly I made it to my 40 week appointment with no signs of baby coming. I decided to have another stretch done and this time I was at 5cm and they could get my to an 8. Again I thought that baby was coming any day. This was on a Wednesday.. Mia came on the Tuesday... the stretches for me did nothing other than dilate me more. My midwife told me I should prepare for a home birth because there's a good chance I wouldn't make it to the hospital. (yes I went midwife this time and I wouldn't have it any other way. They are amazing!!) Hospital birth was my plan and I live super close to the hospital, so the idea of a home birth stressed me out. I wanted to be where to drugs were just in case I needed a section again. Carol couldn't believe I wasn't in labor yet at this appointment because of how far I was. But we agreed that when I started having contractions not to wait too long to call them because I would need to get to the hospital and there was no point in them coming to my house to asses me to see if I was in labor because odds are I would be in active labor rather fast.<br />
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We decided that on Sunday we better just load all the bags in the car just in case something were to happen while we were at church or out so it would be easier for us. We also installed the car seat as well. We had my hospital bag, Dey's hospital bag (just in case I had to stay there for a C-section) and Dominic's bag for the people's house who were going to watch him for us while we were at the hospital. <br />
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A few days went by and it brings us to Tuesday. I woke up that morning, as I did every morning, yelling at my belly telling this baby to get out. Dey always went to Gene and Lisa's house (friends of ours who offered to watch Dominic for us) to practice for work and I decided to go that morning because I needed to get out of the house. The week prior was crazy cold so it was nice that it wasn't so cold and I just felt so cooped up and anxious so I decided to roll out of bed, literally, and throw some clothes on and go with him just to visit with Lisa while the boys did their thing. We had planned on only being there until around 12, but things kept coming up and they had to keep making calls and figuring something out. Lisa made us all pancakes and we sat around eating and visiting some more. We looked at the clock and it read 2pm and decided we would leave shortly thereafter once Dey finished up his last thing he was working on. Then the clock read 2:18 and I felt a little cramp and thought, here's another Braxton hick contraction. Then a couple minutes later another one came and it was a little stronger than the last. Then 5 minutes went by and another one came and then 2 minutes later a stronger one came. I was still denying that I was in labor because of all the false contractions had previously. So I finally called my midwife around 3 and Wendy was the one on call so I told her everything that was happening. She called foothills to see if there were any beds available and then she called me back. We decided she would triage me at the hospital because I was a little further away from the hospital and we would go from there. Luckily there was a bed available and so we left Dominic at Gene and Lisa's (thankfully we were already at their house so we didn't have to drop him off or make them come and get him) and we headed to the hospital. My contractions were really strong and coming every minute or so. I told Dey this was the one time I would be ok with him speeding. <br />
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Foothills has constructions happening so we agreed that Dey would drop me off at the door, go find parking and I would meet the midwives in the lobby and Dey would come find us afterwards. <br />
Well he dropped me out front, I stepped out of the car and had a contraction. A lady came over and asked if I needed help and if I was in labor and if I wanted a wheel chair. I said I should be fine but thanks any way. Once the contraction stopped I walked inside, saw Carol and Wendy and had another contraction. Once done we walked to the elevator (maybe 15 steps away) and I had another contraction. I had another one in the elevator and Wendy goes "No need to triage you, you're definitely in labor" and after she said that I had another contraction. We got to the desk and I had another contraction. And then another one before we were even allowed in the L&D ward. Once we got passed the doors I had to stop because, of course, another contraction was happening. I told Wendy I felt like I needed to poop and I was so hot so I started taking my jacket off there in the hallway. The feeling of needing to poop was because baby's head was so low. This is something I never felt with Dominic so it was all new to me and I wasn't sure if I needed to poop or if it was in fact her head. I finally made it to the room and they helped me get my pants off so they could asses me. I said sorry for my hair legs, but I was planning on shaving them when we got back from Gene and Lisa's because I didn't think things would happen while we were there. So I didn't even get to have a shower that day! My plans on how I was going to look and have my hair for delivery did not happen. They checked me over and I was at an 8 and dying to push. They let me have the gas but said I couldn't get the epidural. So here I was sucking that gas like crazy and Dey was there now, and I asked them how long they thought I would be to get from 8 to 10. They didn't answer me. It was now roughly around 4pm. They asked me if I remembered if I was group B positive or negative and while I was sucking the gas I sang out "negative" and they all laughed. Let me tell you, I LOVE the gas and I think its really funny being high. However, it doesn't do a whole lot to take the pain away, it just makes it a little easier to deal with the intensity of the pain. When I'm in pain I tend to fidget a lot and so I was on my side, still wearing my bra, tank top and shirt, and almost falling off the table because of how I was moving to deal with the pain. I vaguely remember them telling me it was time to push and they wanted me to give up the gas. I didn't want to give it up and tried pushing with it. They finally took it from me and I said "I push better with it" and they said "no, you don't. you aren't even pushing".. so no gas for me. They had to break my water and honestly, I remember the pressure from it and so I pushed when they did it. It felt like something exploded and Wendy yelled "woah!" and also got a little wet because things really did just explode. I somehow found a pole at the back of the bed and I was holding into it for dear life. They would want me to hold my own legs and I told them I couldn't do that because I needed to hold this pole. I also was holding Dey's hand, which he later showed me the nail marks I left and said that he thought I was going to break it. While pushing I begged them for the drugs and they kept saying no and I also begged for a C-section because I just wanted her out so bad. But things clearly were past the point where a section would happen. <br />
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I remember people telling me about things feeling like a ring of fire and oh my gosh were they ever right. I thought someone was taking a lighter and holding it to my skin down there and I did not want to feel that anymore. I could feel her there and wanted her out so bad, but with each push she just wasn't coming out. With every push I would pray that it would be the last push, but it just wasn't. Carol and Wendy would tell me I was almost there and one more push and Dey would repeat them, and I looked at him and said "you don't know what you are talking about so I don't want to hear you saying this! They are professionals so I'm listening to them!" I remember saying that I just couldn't push anymore and I wanted to cry. Carol (who to me is the softer more gentle spoken midwife) grabbed my face and made me open my eyes and put her finger in my face and said "Vanessa you have to do this and you can so do it!" and she said it rather stern and so I pushed. They brought in the OB because Mia's heartrate had dropped a little so they had to call them, but then it picked back up so they sent them away. I was offered the vacuum because her head was in there and not coming out and because I was so over pushing and exhausted and in pain I said yes, do it. I apologized to Carol and Wendy for me saying yes to it but I just wanted her out. <br />
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When they vacuum the baby out they freeze you.. well I could feel the needle through the contractions and I could also feel the vacuum and it was not pleasant at all!! But after a few more pushing with the vacuum they told me to stop and her head come out and her body just kinda slithered out after it. SHE WAS HERE! I was so happy she was here and that I didn't have to push anymore. I remember passing the placenta and feeling it come out as well. Carol asked if I wanted to see it and I said no. She did however, show Dey and explain everything that they look at and how the coloring of it indicated that Mia was ready to come out because the placenta in a way dying. <br />
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One of the first things they said about Mia was " you don't normally see a double chin on a new born.", "check out that tongue!" and "woah she has a big head! you'll never have an issue birthing a big baby now that you did this!" which I then told Dey " we are NEVER having sex again!" haha they also asked me who has a big head and I said I do and Carol goes "well then you only have yourself to blame!" thanks Carol.<br />
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One of the first things I said about Mia when I saw her for the first time was "she looks like my dad! its a little Barry" <br />
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Mia wasn't handed to me right away because there was poop in the fluid so they needed to get her all sorted out, and also I had a 2nd degree tear so I needed to be sewn. I asked for the gas back and they gave it to me. I remember telling the lady stitching me that she needed to leave me alone and shewed her away. She said "its not the first time I've been asked to vacate the area."<br />
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When Dominic was born I was concerned that he wouldn't have all his fingers and toes, so I had made Dey double check to be sure he had them all. Once he got to see her and came over to me he told me all fingers and toes were accounted for... this time that wasn't my first concern. I looked at him and "is she still a girl!?" he said yes. I was so concerned this pregnancy that they were wrong with what they saw. I know too many people who have been told the wrong thing. I even felt like it was a boy the whole time and I also compared her gender picture from the ultrasound to others on the internet to see if it looked the same.<br />
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Once I was all stitched up I was in a lot of pain. My tailbone was killing me. And then we realized I didn't pee while I was there so they wanted me to go to the bathroom and get in the tub to soak. As I got up I almost fell over. I had this crazy sinking pulling feeling in my belly that made me so dizzy that I almost passed out. They got me to the toilet and I sat down and steadied myself. The dizziness passed and I tried to pee. It just wasn't working and things hurt a lot. So I got in the tub and tried to pee while I was in there. Carol brought me apple juice, cheese and peanut butter toast to eat while in the tub. I could not pee for the life of me. So they said I would need a catheter and stay over night. They decided since I was staying overnight and Mia's glucose levels were borderline low they would monitor those too. <br />
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I got into my shared room (bigger than the last one I had with Dominic) and Dey stayed for a bit after we called everyone and then went home. I had to wait until later the next day after Mia's levels were up and after I peed twice without the catheter in. That came around 430pm. I was so happy to be leaving. I also loved that Dey brought Dominic in to see her that day and that he wasn't upset about there being a baby around. It was so sweet.<br />
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That first night was just as rough as the first night home with Dominic. Poor Mia wasn't latching properly because of her long tongue and was starving and screaming bloody murder. I was so sore and didn't know what to do. After almost 10 hours of her screaming I called my midwives and asked what to do and if I should give her formula. They said it would be ok. I finally got her to settle down and then Carol came by for our in house visit. She came again later that day to help me because we got a prescription for nipple cream because mine were so raw and got a nipple shield to see if it would help her latch on properly. The shield did nothing for her and she still didn't latch on. So I pumped and formula fed for the first week because my milk supply wasn't enough yet to keep her full. <br />
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Dominic never really ever spit up, this girl was and still is a big spatter upper. She is my chunky monkey and eats all the time. it took her a week to learn how to latch on and once she did she wouldn't touch a bottle. She still wont touch a bottle and she also wont take a soother. Its been a long almost 3 months. She's a crier, however she's calmed down a lot since being home in NS which is great.<br />
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This little girl has been hard to love and hard to feel connected to. She has made me question myself as a mother more than I ever did with Dominic. I have gotten angry at her for crying and have had to put her down and distance myself from her for fear I would snap. I have felt like a horrible mom because she has been so demanding and the time I have had for Dominic has been slim and also I have been too tired to do anything with him during the time I did have for him. <br />
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Things have gotten better and I have fallen in love with Mia. I love my family and I am so blessed to have them in my lives. I know I am not done having kids and already long for another baby to be brought into this world. <br />
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I love you little Mia girl and I am so honored to be your mom!<br />
<br />Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-33800506596973205542016-02-01T08:28:00.000-08:002016-02-01T08:28:04.524-08:00VLOGOoooookay!!! So I have been, recently, obsessed with a few youtube vlogs and honestly it makes me feel soooo jealous that I havent documented more of my life in videos and pictures. I always wish I could look back on moments in my life, just to watch them happen again because I can remember the feelings I had during that time, and seeing their channels has made me wish I could what they have done.<br />
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So I have been toying with the idea of doing this but I would need a better camera. I dont have a very interesting life, because we only have 1 car so I dont travel very much after work and I dont really have a lot of friends. BUT I feel like it would be better for me to do a vlog because I might actually keep it up, unlike my blog which I randomly post on.<br />
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I would also need an editing program on my computer and I would need a better computer, lets face it mine sucks, especially since my screen is gone and I have to have it plugged into the TV in order to see anything.<br />
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Well Dey thinks its a good idea and so I just might do it!!! If I do I will post about it with the link so that if people want to stare at my average face they most certainly can!!Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-18161764653427504102016-01-18T15:59:00.000-08:002016-01-18T15:59:07.936-08:00Frustration I thought that my frustration was over as I spent all of Sunday not really paying attention to the things going on with my body and felt like I had accepted everything. Then later last night so many more people posted pictures of their babies/ultrasounds and immediately my frustrations were coming over me again.<br />
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I start to think about how I would be soon finding out the gender of my baby if my first pregnancy had lasted. And then I start to think how I wanted to make an appointment for my "confirmation" at my doctors this weekend when Im off but I wont. This one happened a bit faster than the last so I didnt even notify my doctor that I was pregnant. Which has me wondering if I should even let them no.. like hey doctor I just wanted to come in and tell you I was pregnant and then I miscarried later in the week and because Im so freshly aware of what takes place I didnt do anything about it.<br />
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This is the second time I had to email the midwifery intake people to remove me from their list because I will not be in need of a midwife again.<br />
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I wonder why this is happening to me. I feel as though there is something wrong with me and it is causing me to not carry a baby. I dont think I want to wait very long if I do start to try again, but honestly if I were to start trying again, get pregnant and then miscarry again Im really not sure why I would ever want to try for another baby ever again.<br />
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Because of all this Ive been noticing my left ovary has been hurting a bit more frequently so Im going to have to go in and look my cyst sooner than later. This is also frustrating because I feel like it might be cause of my issues and if the doctors took it more seriously then maybe it would have been removed and this pregnancy would have lasted.<br />
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I just dont understand why! I havent even told my family about this one because Im not sure how to bring it up in random conversation... oh hey ma! I was pregnant last week but now anymore, how was your day!?<br />
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My heart is heavy. My heart is sad. My heart is frustrated.Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-61007757735957929492016-01-15T15:08:00.000-08:002016-01-16T17:12:31.357-08:00Déja VuThis post will be updated over a period of days/weeks, depending on what takes place it may be long or short. But I wanted to make note of how I am feeling and what is going in my life during this time.<br>
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<b><u>December 2015</u></b>: Dey and I have finally decided that it is time to try again, so that is what we are doing. I have broken out the ovulation tests again (I never really know because I have a strangely long cycle) and we are praying that this time around we will get pregnant and by the end of it all we have a new baby.<br>
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<b><u>December 26/27, 2015</u></b>: Both of these days I got a positive ovulation (a smiley face to be exact!) and so we all know what this means. My fingers are crossed because we so desperately want to expand our family.<br>
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<b><u>January 1-7, 2016</u></b>: I hate waiting for it to be the right time to take a pregnancy test. Honestly it is longest wait of MY LIFE! I just want to know what is going to happen. I'm not sure if it's going to happen for us. I dont know why but I dont expect there to be a postive test when it is the right time. I actually have taken quite a few tests.. Im just that impatient even though I know the answer will be negative. I need to do them to keep my mind at ease.<br>
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<b><u>January 8, 2016</u></b>: Okay! So here I am at work with my impatient self and at lunch I went to shoppers with Eva to blow off some steam... its been a bad day on top of a really bad week..... so I bought another test and decided to take it here at work... THERE WAS A SECOND LINE!!! AHHHHHH!!!! I dont know if Im just imagining it or what, but i know its there... i have other tests at home (i tend to buy in bulk) and I will do another one when i get home to see if the results are the same.... I also have broken out in hives and have crazy itchy skin which can happen in pregnancy....<br>
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.... So the results are more faint than the one earlier today, but still it was there... Im doing to take another one tomorrow!<br>
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<b><u>January 9, 2016</u></b> : Took another test and the second line is there!! Again still a little faint but its definitely there. I am getting a little excited, but nervous at the same time. I'm going to take a digital one tomorrow morning when I first get up to see if it says anything different.<br>
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<b><u>January 10, 2016</u></b>: Sooooo I took a digital test and it says PREGNANT 1-2 weeks!!! So happy!! So Nervous!! I threw all the tests at Dey and just waited for him to respond. He was like "are you serious!?" We are so excited, but I am still staying very quiet about this and trying not to get too excited about it. I already feel a little different about this one than the last, like this one is more real and I feel more excited, whereas in October I just knew for some reason that it was going to last and even though in my heart I knew it didnt make the hurt any less.<br>
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<b><u>January 14/15, 2016</u></b>: So everything has been going great so far. I have been super tired, more so than usual, and so far I have been feeling more happy and excited than I did in October, Ive been almost giddy. I have found myself looking in the mirror and watching my belly, as it doesnt grow because its too soon, its only big because Ive been bloated haha So last night as I was getting ready for bed and doing my nightly routine, I went to the bathroom and noticed a little pink after using the bathroom. Immediately my heart sank. I started having some cramps, not as bad a period cramps but bad enough that the only comfy way to lay down was curled in a ball on my side. My mind has been going over this countless times because in October, the friday before i got my positive pregnancy test I had the same thing happen, and I at that time though it was a sign that my period of was starting but got a positive on the monday but the spotting just got gradually worse and ended in a very painful miscarriage. So here I am at work, with some minor lower back pain (might just be how Im sitting) and the pink is a bit more than it was last night. Again its only after finishing up using the bathroom that I see this but its still not making me feel any better about the whole thing. i know that a lot of women have spotting early on in pregnancy but this for me is seriously so hard right now. So many people i know are having kids, and i am happy for them, but its still so hard for me not to be angry and jealous and mad at the world that this isnt happening for me. I really do think that my csection screwed my insides up. I have said this from the moment I had the csection that I was terrified that because of it my chances of having another baby are gone. This morning when I told dey about it all he was sad, not as worried as I am and is still hopeful, but for me I just feel it in my heart that things arent going to work out yet again. I do truly hope I am wrong but still it's hard to be positive when the pain and hurt is still so fresh in my heart from October. Dey said to me, if the same thing happens we just need to keep trying. My response "I dont want to!" I didnt think I would ever want to give up on trying again for more kids, but this is not easy for me. Its hard walking around work knowing there is someone else who accidentally got pregnant and is due when I originally would have been (early June) and here I am and still no baby. I know there are people who have tried and tried for years and I never really thought I could feel the way they do or even a fraction of how they do but I think im getting there. I am so grateful for Dominic and that fact that I have been blessed to be his mother but I want him to have a sibling. I dont feel like my family is complete yet, but there is a chance that it will be. Today is not an easy day for me and I really dont want to go through the same thing again. I havent gone to the doctors yet, but if things continue on I will be making an appointment here shortly to have them send me for probably more tests and probably another ultrasound. I think Im scared to go and be told the same thing as before; there's no baby in there. Ive had heartache before in many different forms but for me I think this is the worst of all. I have only ever wanted to be a mom and although I am, i always thought it would be to more than just my 1 little boy. As much as I say I will be ok with just having the one because he truly is a blessing, I know it will take a really long time to actually really accept and be ok with that fact. Everyday I am praying that I am wrong and praying that Heavenly Fathers plan is for this one to work out and that we can keep it, its just a little hard to hold onto the faith that everything will work out, especially because most times my working out and Heavenly Fathers working out are 2 completely different things. I am currently about as far along as I was when I started to miscarry in October. This is making my hopefulness fade rather fast...<div><br></div><div>... So after coming home from work my heart just knew. I sat here crying so bad and praying to god that if this pregnancy wasn't going to last then have it end now and not make me wait as long as I did last time. He answered my prayer. At 4am I woke up & was having another miscarriage. My heart is heavy. It is hurting. I have so many questions. I don't know why this has happened yet again. Wanting a bigger family is a good desire but apparently it's not meant to be right now. Dey says it's a trial but it's a trial I am over enduring. I just don't know why he would answer my prayer of getting pregnant but he wouldn't answer my prayer to keep it. I'm not mad at god but right now I don't understand him and why this has become my life. </div><div><br></div><div>I really don't know if I'm willing to try to have another kid if I have to keep suffering through these miscarriages. <br>
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<br></div>Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-68255582285714915072016-01-15T14:36:00.002-08:002016-01-15T14:36:36.827-08:00The Boy Who Won't Sit Still Dominic is now 22 months old... yes sometimes I still use months to describe his age... and he is on the go all the time. It is very rare that he is sitting still for more than a couple minutes at a time. Sometimes I'm not sure how to keep up with him or what to do. I just sit there and watch him as he runs around touching everything in site.<br />
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He constantly has bruises and is hitting/banging something on his body and coming to me to kiss it better. Everyday he is hurting himself.<br />
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So the other day, Wednesday to be exact, I drove myself to work because it was so cold that Dey didnt think it was a good idea to make Dominic go out in the cold, especially because he was still sleeping. When the day was done I was making good time going home that I quickly stopped into Walmart to pick up a couple of things. I only took my wallet in and left my purse and phone in the car. When I got back in my car I noticed I had 6 missed calls from Dey but because we are just up the road from the walmart I didnt bother calling him back.<br />
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I walk into the house and Dominic is running as per usual and Dey is there with tears in his eyes and I asked him what was wrong and then I saw. Dominic had this gash in his forehead. Apparently he was standing on Deys back when he was laying on the floor and when Dey told him to sit down he dove head first into the couch and cut open his head.<br />
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We went to the emergency room at the childrens hospital and waited a long while for them to do anything about it. We were told it would either be glue or stitches but since he was young and its hard for kids his age to be still glue might not be a good idea. Apparently if he moves while having the glue put in it could burn and not go in properly and would need to be taken out and put back in. So we opted for the stitches.<br />
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2 stitches and a lot of screams and tears later everything was done. My poor little boy has this giant scar (giant to me at least) in the middle of his forehead. I put vitamin e cream on it everyday and hope that it will eventually fade.<br />
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Sometimes this little boy never learns because he is still to this day head diving off the couch and hurting himself on the regular. I dont think he will ever learn to sit still.Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-35841124916356410632015-11-10T15:59:00.001-08:002015-11-10T15:59:09.885-08:00Moving ForwardIt's been a couple weeks now and it has gotten easier coping with the fact that I am not longer pregnant. I do however have to be mindful of any pain I might be having because it could be the 6cm cyst they saw rupturing, which I hope never happens. I did get confirmation from my doctor that this will not prevent me from trying again when I am ready. <div>
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I have been researching and talking to those around me who have had miscarriages and asking them how long they waited before they tried again. It's funny because people who are not from north america were shocked that we were told that we should wait 2-3 months before trying because they have been told by their doctors and midwives that if they are ready they can try right away because your body is ready for this and hyper fertile right now. I have looked into different things people have said on different forums and they all say the same thing. So pretty much, if you feel like you are ready you should go ahead and start trying again. </div>
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So knowing that I am not pregnant right now has made me a little sad that my June deadline for working will be pushed back. I have always said that I wanted to be a stay at home mom and we have talked about when I get pregnant again that I just wont go back to work afterwards. We are trying to get 6 months worth of bills saved up so that way we have a cushion for whenever that day may be. </div>
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In the meantime I am just trying to love my son even more than I already do (if that's possible) because after everything I have gone through it is more clear to me that babies, although an often occurrence in the world, are very special and a miracle every single time. </div>
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I love kids and I love my child, and if he is the only one I am blessed with then I will be happy with that. I will have sad moments but I still will love my child more than anything in the world and be happy that he is mine forever! </div>
Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-18623713711899036282015-10-29T22:38:00.001-07:002015-10-29T22:38:02.226-07:00The Feelings Of LossAlmost 2 years ago I was blessed by having my dream come true and became a mom. This is something I have always wanted and have waited so long for. I have found my calling in life. With being a mom I have always known that I wanted a big family and don't want to have an only child. So with that being said Dey and I have talked about when would be a good time to make an addition to the family and give Dominic a sibling. Because I was on contract with work I knew I needed to work for a minimum of 6 months before I could leave for mat leave again. So we figured out timelines and decided that if I went back to work freshly pregnant or got pregnant shortly thereafter it would be great. December of 2014 we decided we would start trying. Months passed and still no plus sign when tests were taken. Then in spring I was told about my teeth problems and about the copious amounts of dental work in my near future. So we had to put plan baby #2 on hold. I think The Lord had a hand in me not getting pregnant during those previous months because I wouldn't be able to be pregnant and be sedated and have this work done. Once my wisdom teeth came out we knew the plan was back on. Now I don't know my body as well as others and I'm not on the "normal" side of things so many ovulation tests were bought and when the smiley face showed up we were happy to know that my body was doing it's part just later than others. <div>Friday before thanksgiving I had some light spotting but this for me is normal when my period is about to come so I figured that things just didn't happen that month. By Monday things weren't happening so just to shut my mind I took a test. I noticed more spotting and thought "great I just wasted a pregnancy test" so after all was said and done I looked at my wasted test and lo and behold there were 2 lines! I was so excited that my plans on surprising Dey turned into me walking into the room while he was changing Dominic's diaper waiving the test around saying look!! A few more tests were done that week to be sure and that Friday I confirmed with my doctor. I mentioned that I had been spotting almost everyday and she decided blood work every 2 days for 6 days (so 3 total) would be good to track my HCG levels. I hate needles so I was clearly overjoyed. On the Wednesday I went in for my first set of blood work with the second and third set to be on the Friday and then Sunday. </div><div>Friday I had to go into work early so I could leave early for my blood work so I went to bed at a decent hour on Thursday night. I had some minor cramping and thought nothing of it. At about 3 am I woke up in a lot of pain. To me I was hoping it was just gas or something of that nature so I just let it go. The pain subsided a small amount and so I was at work. While at work I was keeled over because that was the only way I could get any sort of relief. I finally message Dey at 11:30 telling him to come get me. I left around noon and we headed home. After some debating, with myself, I decided we should go to my doctor as a walk in and see what they had to say. They listened to what I was saying and sent me for an emergency ultrasound in Airdrie (only place available) and we left right away because the appointment was for 2 and it was now shortly after 1. </div><div>While at the clinic I had 2 types of ultrasound done, external and internal. They saw something measuring around 6cms just outside my left ovary where all my pain was coming from and they couldn't see anything in the uterus. The doctor came in and told me to go to the emergency room at the hospital so away we went. </div><div>We got to the hospital and spent many hours talking with nurses and doctors, getting exams and blood work done. They put an IV in just in case they needed more than the 8 vials they already took. Dominic was the hit with the nurses which warranted him getting and EMT stuffed moose. </div><div>After talking with the OB he was fairly certain it was an ectopic pregnancy and we had 3 options. </div><div>1. Get blood work every 2 days and then get an ultrasound at the end of the week and go from there. But this means I couldn't be left alone for fear my Fallopian tube could burst. </div><div>2. Give me the shot that would terminate the pregnancy naturally. The doctor crossed this out because he doesn't like to do it when they can't 100% say it is tubal. Because I have an extra long cycle the dates could be off and they could just not see anything in the uterus and what they were seeing next to my ovary might be normal or nothing at all. So if they did this option then there would be no way in knowing if it was actually a viable pregnancy or not. </div><div>3. Have laparoscopic surgery, they look around and see if they can see the fetus and remove it or if they see nothing get out and go back to option 1 but if they do see it they would remove it and try their best to not harm the tube but more often than not the tube has to go as well which would mean only ovulating every second month instead of every month. </div><div>So here I am faced with this decision, terrified about what's happening. Knowing that things are not good. I should also mention that the week before I got a blessing and although it didn't mention anything about the viability of my pregnancy I knew the moment it started that this pregnancy wouldn't last. Even though I knew in my heart it didn't keep me from being sad and scared. </div><div>Dey and I decided to go with option 1 and go from there. The silver lining was that I would have the week off work. </div><div>I went home so heart broken and terrified knowing what could happen. Best case scenario everything would be fine but that was slim to none. Next best thing was that I would miscarry. </div><div>So Sunday I had more blood work done and on Monday I had an appointment with my doctor who said my HCG levels dropped drastically and that I would be miscarrying. That same afternoon I got an email from a midwifery clinic saying they had a spot open for me and I also started to pass some tissue. Monday was not a good day. No day has been a good day really. I had more blood work on Tuesday and again today. I also had another ultrasound today, both internal and external. They still see something outside my ovary but smaller than before and no blood flow around it. Also my uterus is not thick and there is no fluid left. All and all today I was told the obvious but it was still hard to hear that want you wanted so desperately is not going to happen for a while. But it looks like I've miscarried out of the tube so no surgery, for now. They're letting my doctor decide about what's left by my ovary. </div><div>My heart has been heavy and sad. I have been upset, frustrated and angry at the world. I want to go back in time and not go through this. I want to stay on my couch and not move. I want to never go to work again. I just hate that this has happened. Everyday it seems like 5 more people are announcing their births of their babies or that they are expecting. </div><div>I also found out that by having a c section it increases your odds of having an ectopic pregnancy. Thanks doctors for that one. </div><div>I know that I will one day have more kids and I know that there are people out there who have had it worse than I have but for me this has been harder than I could have imagined. The feeling of loss is a different kind than I have experienced before. The feeling of loss is something I never want to feel again and would never wish on anyone. The feeling of loss is something I won't be able to get over for what seems like the rest of my life.</div><div>One day I had a baby growing inside and then I didn't anymore. </div>Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-56416472277357881882015-09-04T12:53:00.000-07:002015-10-29T21:16:13.497-07:00Dental WoesOk! So as stated previously I have a lot of issues going on in my mouth, mostly cavities and me needing my wisdom teeth removed. I have been doing to the dentist and so far I have had 6 fillings done and still have a lovely 8 to go. I will be back at the dentist to use up the remaining of my coverage to fill I think 1 more tooth.<br>Speaking of coverage, I had to find out that wisdom teeth removal falls under "routine" dental work and not major so because I dont have like any coverage left I had to pay for all of ot (1,725$) out of my own pocket. This was not what I wanted to do but at the end of the day they needed to come out so I had to do it.<br>
Last week I went to the oral surgeons and of course I was super nervous and because I was getting sedated I wasnt allowed to eat so I was also really hungry.<br>
I met with the nurses and talked with the surgeon and he told me about the procedure and how it only takes about 30 minutes and then its the waking up part and getting ready to go that takes the longest.<br>
So finally when they came and got me I was so nervous. They had me lay down and they put the mask on and said it would only take about 30 seconds or so. It felt like longer and the anesthesiologist said how it was laughing gas and I burst into laughter and he said, at least someone thinks my jokes are funny. Then I woke up in the recovery room with a mean nurse who wasn't considerate of my fears at all and kept saying, in a rude way, it's only the tape, don't tell me you can swollow because you can and other things that I can't remember. I was in a lot of pain but finally I got to leave. I remember before leaving they said they couldn't find Dey and I started to cry and told them he was the bald Spanish guy on his phone by the right back window. They found him. We left. I only wanted chocolate pudding and recovery sucked. I'm glad it's over with but now I'm being told root canals and crowns are in my future. Let this be a lesson to all, do not wait to go to the dentist for 10+ years because it's not cheap or painless. Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-74425982266134191312015-07-29T12:20:00.000-07:002015-07-29T12:20:36.553-07:00Dear DominicDear Dominic, <br />
You have changed my life in so many ways. I have always known that I loved babies and that I wanted them, but when the time came down to it that I was my time to be a mom I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. There was no turning back when the test read yes. I had many feelings go through me over the course of being pregnant.... a big one being that I hated being pregnant. <br />
The early morning when I knew you were coming (turned out to be the next morning when you finally arrived) I was scared out of my mind. I wasn't sure what to expect and I wanted to keep you inside forever! I wasn't ready for you just yet, and thought I had more time, but you were ready for me!<br />
You came in a fashion that I wasn't expecting at all and really wasn't happy about, but you came into this world and everything changed. When the doctors said I had a beautiful baby boy I laid there on the operating table and yelled out "I have a baby!!" I didn't cry like I thought I would because I think I was too tired (it had been over 24 hours) and hungry and pumped full of drugs. But boy was I excited to meet you. I was so excited that minutes after you arrived I yelled out "are we done yet?" and the doctors all laughed. I wasn't joking, I wanted to be stitched up and holding my baby. It was another 40 minutes or so until they wheeled me into recovery and I got to actually look at you real good. Sorry for saying you looked like an alien... it was the drugs... <br />
It is amazing how instantly the love I didn't know I had for you grew in a tremendous way. You were not just some baby I got to hold, you were MY baby. You were my dream come true. You are the reason I am alive today. I was meant to be your mother and you my son. <br />
It is crazy to think that we were destined to be together, but it's the truth. <br />
Your father loves you so much as well and I know he is jealous about some of the things that we get to share, as if it is our own secret club. Your father loves you just as much as I do, but you are the only one who has heard my heartbeat from the inside. You grew inside of me, and although it was not a pleasant experience for me, I would do it all again in a heartbeat because you were the reward. <br />
You are the perfect little boy. You have such attitude already and are growing in so many ways. You amaze me with how fast you learn things and how easily you love when you don't really understand the meaning just yet. <br />
Your love is a pure love that has yet to be introduced to the bad things of this world. I pray that you will always love as if you are child, without any reservations, and that you continue to learn and grow, although it pains me to see you growing so fast. <br />
I wish that you will always speak your mind, as you do already, and that you are willing to be kind to those around you. <br />
I hope that you will stop pulling hair and pinching and that you will learn that being gentle is a good thing. Girl will be upset if you do this to them, and guys will probably punch you for it. <br />
You are my son, my first born, my love and my life. I am grateful that I am your momma and that no matter what I will always be there for you. <br />
Dominic Jensen Rivera, thank you for completing my life and making it whole and for making me your mother. <br />
I love you crazy amounts. <br />
Love MomVanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-61069290586507365152015-07-28T07:55:00.002-07:002015-07-28T07:55:22.984-07:00Dropped the BallI was told the other day... maybe the other week... I cant remember when exactly but it's been a while since I have blogged. It looks like the last time I blogged was the beginning of May and so I guess I will start from there...<br />
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May: I finally, after 10+ years went to the dentist for a cleaning/check up. It was the most painful cleaning I have ever had and probably the most profitable one for my dentist because what they found is probably making them a pretty penny. I will be honest, I HATE the dentist and have anxiety about it and for the longest time I didnt have coverage so I didnt go. Then when I did have coverage I couldnt find one who did direct billing and was accepting patients so I said it didnt matter. I have had some minor issues somedays with my teeth but didnt really care. Now I will be very honest, even though it is embarrassing for me, they found 14 cavities, one of those may result in a root canal and that doesnt include my 3 wisdom teeth that have cavities that need to be taken out via surgery. Yup! Thats me!! Ive always been very pronged to cavities so I wasnt that surprised. Luckily I have coverage and it looks like all of it will be covered so yay me! They did also say that when you are pregnant your saliva becomes more acidic and can eat away at your teeth faster... I took that to mean that all of these issues are from being pregnant with Dominic and before that I had the picture perfect mouth!! Speaking of mouths, I have a tiny mouth with tiny teeth and I was told a few times while I was there how small they were and how the xray thingy didnt fit in my itty bitty mouth. Needless to say I have already had 2 fillings, I have another 3/4 coming up Aug. 19th and my wisdom teeth surgery August 28th, Im getting sedated for that one so watch out! Im glad I went so I can keep my mouth clean and ready.<br />
In May I also turned 28! It's crazy!! Cort came down from Edmonton to celebrate and we saw pitch perfect 2!! Not as good as the first one but still awesome.<br />
Oh!! Also my mom surprised me and showed up for a birthday! Honestly it was the best and so unexpected. I had been bugging her for some time to come and see me and I guess for months she had it planned so Dey picked her up late one night and when I walked out in the morning in just my garments I was shocked because there she was and I kind of half screamed and quickly turned the light back off and went back to my room to find clothes and tell Dey she was there who had known about it and he tried to play it off like he didnt know how she got in the house! it was the long weekend so that worked out and I was able to take the friday off as well after my birthday so we could spend time together. Honestly it was great and I was so happy she came out and surprised me.<br />June kinda came and went and I really dont think anything overly special happened at all. I was just basically working my tail off because we re launched our system and it has been super crazy ever since.<br />
July, so far, has been busy and I also had a week off because Dey went to Atlanta and instead of paying for someone to watch Dominic I thought it was better to just get paid to do it myself. So I did and I loved it! Honestly it made going back to work so much harder and made me feel like I did in January when I came back after mat leave.<br />About a year ago or more I saw these wraps that people were selling that help you lose inches and I its all natural and they were supposedly amazing and I wanted to try them. Unfortunately, I didnt have the money for it then so I said nevermind. Then I saw them every where but still didnt have the money for it. Then when I cam back to work I saw a friend of mine was selling them and talked it over with Dey and decided that it was a good time to try them out. So I did it and immediately fell in love. I saw a difference in me after just 1 wrap so I thought "why dont I sign up to be a distributor and make a little extra on the side?" I also have the idea that this could be my way out of working because I know so many people on our team who have been able to make enough to support themselves and their families and it is my inspiration. I am in love with these products and I have been feeling so much better about myself using them. My mom told me I'm just gonna lose weight to get pregnant again, which could be true, but I would rather lose some weight now so that way when the baby weight goes on I'm not further away from my goal than I was before.<br />
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This weekend we are driving down to Utah for a mini family vacation/reunion. Jeremy, Kim and Greyson live there and Josh is there visiting for a month or so, my parents and Lyla are flying out on Friday and we are driving down Friday night! Honestly I cannot wait to see them and just have fun together. I'm not looking forward to the drive down with Dominic but we will make it work. We are getting family pictures and I cannot wait to see how they turn out!!!<br />
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Life is great and I am done my contract with work so I would like to be pregnant soon so I can go on leave again and make money doing it through it works! Maybe I can sustain a life with it! here's to hoping I can get what I want out of life with the help of this amazing product!!<br />
<br />Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-22726837174824141292015-05-07T11:31:00.001-07:002015-05-07T11:31:26.028-07:00Sick KiddoA few weeks ago Dominic was coming down with a minor cold, which is pretty normal for him when he's teething. He was getting in 5 at once and so his cold was a little worse than normal, but nothing too bad. As the week went on and his cold wasn't going away I thought maybe it would pass in a couple days, but it didnt. One night I put him down for bed and he was perfectly fine, minus the sniffly nose, but he woke up around 10:30 and was standing up trying to cry. At first I thought maybe his cry was just super soft but after a moment I realized it just wasnt right. He was so upset and sad and I could tell he was in pain. His hands and feet got really cold and he was so tired but couldnt get back to sleep. His breaths got very short and quick and he had a nasty sounding cough. We called the health link because part of me thought it sounded like he had phlegm stuck in his through and I wasnt going to rush to the hospital for that. After talking with the nurse from health link we were about to hang up and do what she suggested but then he let out an awful cough and she said to get to the hospital. So we quickly got dressed and headed to the childrens hospital. We went to triage and explained everything and she took his vitals, this is where he got terrified of the stethoscope, and she said we would probably be getting a chest x-ray. We got to the waiting room, where other kids were sitting around and waiting (1h45m approx. wait time was showing on the screen) and Dominic being the kid that he is, gets a second wind and doesnt let a little breathing issue slow him down, is running around trying to play and run out through the automatic doors. We got to the hospital around 11 and didnt get in to see a doctor until about 2am. Well, by in to see a doctor I mean out of the waiting room into another room waiting for him. He had a bad fever and they gave him popsicles, another nurse took his vitals, which was a task. He hated the stethoscope and the heart monitor was horrible for him and his heart rate was 183 bpm because he was so frantic that they had to put it on his foot and wait for him to calm down. The nurse waited in the hallway until it got an accurate reading but at one point the nurse poked her head out of the hallway into the room and Dominic freaked out at her. They gave him a shot of steroids and after a bit the doctor came in. Again with the stethoscope and Dominic freaked out. They said he had croup and strider and was fighting off an infection but told us the steroids would help but if they didnt to come back. So we packed up and went home, without a chest x-ray.<br />
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He loved those popsicles. He had 2 that night, Hopped up on sugar just like his mama</div>
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He kept trying to take his bracelet off. We had to hide it under his sleeve of his coat because he figured out how to slide his hand out.</div>
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The days passed and his cold kept getting worse and worse, his strider was gone but he just wasnt getting better so Dey took him in to a walk in clinic and they doctor there said he thought he had a bacterial infection. So a 3 day round of steroids and 7 day, 3 times a day, antibiotic was prescribed for my little kiddo and we had to make an appointment to go back after 5 days. Slowly things finally started to get better which was great. I was also really appreciative of my health benefits because they covered his medication. </div>
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So Friday rolls around and I get back from work and have to take Dominic to the doctors for his follow up. The moment that stethoscope came near him he freaked out again. But the doctor got a good enough listen that things were getting better but he was still wheezing and there was still some tightness in his chest so we got a puffer!! Yay!!! Luckily because we made the mask look like fun he is good at taking it. He only needs it close to bed time or if it gets back during the day. I have only had to use it a few times which is great, and he still has a little bit of a runny nose and a random cough here or there but it is finally clearing up. </div>
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Having a sick kid is so sad. And having a kid who cant really breath is terrifying. Honestly I got so nervous at first that something would happen and I would lose it. My life would never been the same if that were the case and I dont know if I would have been able to move on from it. </div>
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I am so greatly for the health services we have here in Canada and I am so greatly for my little man. He is just the best thing to have ever happen to me. He completed our lives. If at the end of the day he is all we are blessed with, then I would be sad but perfectly happy with it. </div>
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Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-16361699925156133502015-04-14T12:05:00.001-07:002015-04-14T12:05:34.032-07:00When Does It Get Easier?I was told that going back to work was a good thing and that I would enjoy the adult interaction. I was also told that it would be hard at first but would get easier and I would get used to it.<br />
I have been back to work now for 3 months and although it is nice to talk to some people, I do not find it easier, I do not really enjoy it and I still find myself crying about it. I just dont understand how people have it so easy and love going back to work. Am I too attached to my child?!<br />I wake up every morning thinking "if only I didnt have to get out of bed" proceeded by "is it friday yet!?". Dont get me wrong I have a great job and work with some great people, but I never looked forward to the weekend more than I do now and have never hated Sundays as much either. I keep waiting for this feeling to go away and its just not. I feel like im missing so much of my childs life and development. The fact that he doesnt like coming around me as much also makes it harder. Yesterday he saw the girl upstairs and Dey had left and he squirmed to get out of my arms and walked to her and wouldnt let me take him back. If you ever wonder how a toddler can break your heart, this is it.<br />
Everyone says, just get pregnant again and then you can take off another year... well its not the easy, believe me, plus then when I go back to work it will be even harder because I will have 2 kids to leave behind and Dey wont be able to watch 2 at the same time and still get work done so we would have to pay for daycare. Honestly, I am just so overwhelmed with emotions and frustrations and sadness that I didnt expect to experience this long after having a kid.<br />
I just want it to get easier.Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-74546738096488232002015-04-08T13:19:00.000-07:002015-04-08T13:19:01.107-07:00Toddler Love.. or Lack ThereofEver since Dominic was old enough to realize that someone left the room/house he has gotten really upset about it. Mostly this happens when Dey leaves. I think the reasoning is he felt like he wasnt coming back and since I was always around he didnt care as much when I left. I thought maybe when I went back to work he would get upset about me leaving and cry (yes I wanted my kid to cry over me, is that too much to ask?!) but this has not happened.<br />When I get home from work he barely comes near me if Dey is around and when Dey leaves he follows him down the hallway and stands are the door sobbing uncontrollably. This has caused me to get really sad and cry because my son doesnt want to spend time with me. I am chopped liver to him when Deys around, even if I leave him with the girls upstairs for a moment and I go to take him back he runs into Shellys arms and would rather stay with her.<br />My heart breaks every time he doesnt want to come near me and would rather be with someone else.<br />
I have figured out why this is, at least I think I have... Because this weekend was the long weekend I was able to get up and be with Dominic all day and he cuddled with me most of the Dey, this too brought tears to my eyes, and he still wanted Dey but he also wanted me!! I think he gets mad that I'm not around all day and so he in a way punishes me for it.<br />I just hate that he doesnt seem to like me as much and Im his mom. All day I miss him and wish I were home with him and it sucks and hurts that he could care less when Im around.<br />Ive been pretty emotional lately and this doesnt help matters.<br />
I wish my baby would just be my baby and want to spend time with me.Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-89297880152820236612015-03-18T20:08:00.001-07:002015-03-18T20:08:18.583-07:00Baby No. 2Ok... let me just say this is not an announcement. I am not pregnant, however baby no. 2 has been on my mind a lot lately. I spent a lot of the start of last year saying to myself "I'm not having anymore kids. One is enough!" then as a few months went by I decided that if I were to have another kid and it was a girl I would definitely be done! I stood by that for about a month maybe two then I was on the baby wagon or train and I wanted a baby badly. Now don't get me wrong I love Dominic and am very much attached to him but I really wanted another itty bitty baby around. I have jumped on and off of the train or wagon telling myself Dominic needs a sibling to play with then quickly whistling a different tune and saying that I am perfectly fine with one kid because Dominic is so perfect and amazing I cant imagine having another little person around. I have always said that I would never have an only child family, but the idea of it makes me think its ok. I think maybe I can wait a while before having another kid but I think about the fact that I am closer to my thirties than I am mid twenties and I don't have a lot of time to have more kids that would be optimal baby having years. I also think of my boss who is having her 6th baby and is in her 40's. Power to her for being able to do that because I don't think I could do it at that age. I want more kids I really do but I think I'm scared of not having the time or energy to spend with Dominic. I cannot express how much I love him or how much I miss him all day long, even when hes in bed I miss him. I have this irrational fear that I wont love another child as much as I love Dominic. I know this is crazy and not the case but I just cant shake this feeling that no other baby will be as good as Dominic. Im not sure if I am the only one out there who thinks this way but if I am please don't judge me. <br />
I think about how Dominic is with me and other kids now and he tends to get a bit jealous, throw another kid into the mix who I need to tend to 24/7 and I'm sure that Dominic will be a hot mess. What if I don't have time for him? What if he doesn't like me anymore for it? What if he feels like he doesn't need me and stops cuddling with me? I cannot help but think about this all the time. Also if we were to have another kid Dominic will be around 2, give or take a few months, when we have it and I'm sure Dominic will be a crazier toddler than he is now. How will I cope with a terrible two year old and a new born??? <br />
I just cant help but think about these things, and I know I have probably talked about this before but when you start to think about when you are going to try for another you start to wonder what life will be like. <br />
This is my life lately, it actually is stressing me out. I guess if the time is right and the lord thinks its a good time and that it should happen then it will happen. We said before that when we got married if we got pregnant then good and if not then ok... it only took one time and BAM Dominic was born (given the appropriate amount of gestation) and we know that he was meant to be and we are so happy about that. Life has not been the same since and if we have another kid then I know it will be another wonderful journey. Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-81406752680264117612015-03-17T08:52:00.003-07:002015-03-17T08:52:49.721-07:00ONE<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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Ok... So I havent exactly found the time to blog about the birthday that happened 2 months ago. But let me tell you, the fact that I have a 1 year old is quite shocking to me. The fact I have a child at all blows my mind!!! But alas I am a mom and I have been loving it everyday... even when he wakes me up at night.. well I may not love it as much in that moment but I do still love it!!! Dominic is a character and has such a personality and a naughty side... For example, he spits at you when you tell him No or Dont touch or stop that. Not quite sure where that came from or how he learned to do that but he does. Its funny but we fight really hard not to laugh at him. </div>
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So the night of the 23rd when Dominic was going to bed I told him a bed time story, once that did not come from a book, but it was the story of his birth. A girl I work with tells her kids every year on their birthday the story of their birth and I think its a great way for you to remember what happened as well a great bonding moment to relive that time with your child. </div>
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On the 24th I got up and ran around picking up decorations (I didnt have the time during the week because Im at work and I dont have the car in the evenings) and getting set up for the party that afternoon. I was so happy that Dominics birthday fell on a Saturday because I got to be there and we got to have a party on his actually day. I was worried that people wouldnt show up, and when they got there I was worried that we didnt know what to do, but eventually everything just kind of flowed and people talked and the kids played and it was just great! Our basement isnt the biggest but we have the perfect amount of people there to fill it up and to celebrate with. </div>
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Dominic was a little needy and going through a fussy period so he was super attached to me but I did my best to make him go and socialize like a good baby. </div>
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I made him put on a hat and he has never been a hat fan so Im not surprised that he hated this one... I took a picture and laughed at him before taking it off. Mom of the year award?! I think so!!</div>
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Messy Cake Face</div>
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He literally just picked up the cake in the smallest of pieces and ate it... He didnt eat a lot and it was quite disappointing when he didnt just dive into the cake like I had hoped. I avoided giving him sweets all year so that way at this moment he would go crazy... not so much. Somedays, like this one, I dont think hes my kid at all!!</div>
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At the end of the day it was fun and great to spend time with friends and celebrate the birth of this little monster. Its crazy to think that he isnt a "baby" anymore but is now officially a toddler. Im not so sure how I feel about it, but really what can ya do!? And for all of you out there wondering when I am going to cut his hair *cough cough* mom *cough cough* I will do it when I am ready. He has the sweetest little curls in the back and Im scared they will never come back if I cut them, so one day it will happen, I promise! </div>
Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-86780518587007370712015-02-09T20:24:00.002-08:002015-02-09T20:24:19.272-08:00Back to WorkOn January 16th, 2015 I did the hardest thing I have had to do in a really long time. I had to go back to work. When I left last December I signed an agreement that I would go back for a minimum of 6 months or else I would have to pay back what they paid me. When I signed it I looked at the paperwork and said to myself "oh yeah i'll definitely want to go back to work" Little did I know I would love being a mom so much more than anything else I've ever done. About 3 months into my maternity leave the countdown began as I was already dreading going back to work. <br />
Well the year came and went and so I was headed back to work. I cried the night before when I was putting Dominic into bed as I knew in the morning I wouldn't be able to spend the entire day with him anymore. For the first time in a year I actually took the time to get ready and look decent. This in turn made me feel better about myself and I have been doing it everyday. <br />
So that first day when I got dropped off I went to the backseat and said goodbye to Dominic and the tears started to pour. I collected myself enough to get into the building and make it to the elevator. Well, then I saw Eva and she asked me how I was doing and the tears started again. So many people would ask me how I was doing and again my tears would start. Needless to say that Friday was spent holding back the tears and walking around talking to people because my desk and such wasn't set up yet. Thankfully it was a Friday and an easy day. <br />I have been back for a little over 3 weeks now and honestly it is not any easier. There are still most nights where I put Dominic down and I cry because I miss him terribly. I want to spend all day with him again, but I don't get to do that. I am working Monday-Friday 830-5 so I see Dominic for about 30 mins in the morning and then in the evening I get home close to 6 and he goes to bed around 730/8 which means I only see him for about 2.5 hours out of the day. This is not easy for me. I am doing fine at work and have gotten back into the groove of things, but it is nothing like I want my days to be like. I have actually had to ask for more work to do because there isn't enough for me, but there are some changes happening and I am getting more responsibility with things so my days will start getting busier so the 6 months can fly by. <br />
I have never looked forward so much to weekends, and have never hated them so much when they are over. I cannot wait for the day when I don't have to work anymore and can stay at home with my baby. Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-51395376483043448242015-02-09T18:14:00.001-08:002015-02-09T18:14:18.364-08:00Bill Frank<br />
Bill Frank was the man at church who I never used to like. When he was new to our ward he was called into the young mens presidency and somehow I ended up in the garbage can. From that point on that story was brought up almost every time we saw each other. <br />
I remember going to his house and eating his 4 course meals, and this one time he had turnips in his mashed potatoes and I couldn’t understand why I hated the potatoes so much until after I ate them all and that was when they told me. I would also eat his peppermint patties that he had in his pantry and also his Lays BBQ chips. I remember that he always had pepsi in his pantry but my parents would never let me have one so I would have a rootbeer instead. <br />
There were many times that we would be at their house just to hang out. We would play crib together or just visit. We even watched the 2002 Mens Olympics Gold Medal Hockey game at his house. There was another time that he had a Christmas party and paid me 20$ to help taking peoples jackets. There were many YM/YW mutual activities at his house that involved cooking, or firesides. <br />
I remember going to his house and seeing the copious amounts of pictures on his fridge and then I noticed I made it up on the fridge. Oh my that picture was horrible! I legit looked like a lion in a baby blue gap hoodie. But it felt nice knowing that he loved me enough to have me on the fridge with the rest of his family and close friends. <br />
I remember spending many Sundays sitting with him at church and eating his candy that he brought with him. He was a gentle man, although it took me a while to see that. He always said what was on his mind and didn’t care who he offended by saying it and justified himself because he was an old man. He always commented on how good a girl looked and called her a fox. He would always ask me if I was dating anyone yet and I would say no. <br />
When Dey and I got engaged and dropped the bombshell that we would not be getting married in the temple right away he heard the news from my mom and sent me an extremely long email and proceeded to say he wasn’t judging me but… and I was hurt and offended. I didn’t think I would ever be able to forgive him for the words he said to me. I know it was out of love and concern for me but it just came at a time where things were already bad and it made it worse so I didn’t care what he had to say. <br />
When I came home I wasn’t really ready to see him just yet, but I knew that it would happen. I saw him first when we went to the ward Christmas party and it was hard for me not to just ignore him. He came up to me and I could feel the anger that had been there for so long creeping up and he gave me a hug, and I reluctantly hugged him back. But even though I was mad at him still, his hug was warm and familiar. He played with Dominic and he loved Bill just as Bill loved him, and I joked around with him as if nothing had ever happened, but still not completely over the email thing. <br />
When I went through the Temple for the first time and he found out he was a little hurt that we didn’t let him know because he said that he would have been there for me. I didn’t care really because I didn’t really want him there. Then when we got the go ahead to get sealed my mom asked me if we should invite Bill and Ellen, and I said I guess we could but I didn’t want to call him, so mom sent an email. Now since it was last minute I wasn’t going to be upset if he didn’t make it. I still wasn’t feeling all the love towards him. But he did show up and when he hugged me afterwards he had tears in his eyes and he said is usual “You know I love ya girl” and I knew in that moment I was so grateful for him being there for it. He made that day so much more special but I didn’t know just how much until he passed away. <br />
I wanted to go visit the franks before I left to come back to Calgary but I didn’t get a chance to. And I didn’t get to say goodbye to him in person because church that week had been cancelled. But Bill gave me a call the day before I left to say goodbye and that he loved me and wished me all the best and hoped that we enjoyed ourselves while being home. He could never just say it simply, he always sounded like a hallmark card to me when giving someone well wishes. It was just so Bill Frank and I loved it. <br />
The day after I got back to Calgary was the Sunday everyone who knew Bill Frank lives changed. It was the biggest shock to me. I don’t know how it could have happened and I don’t think I will ever understand why it happened. I am still having a hard time accepting the fact that he passed away. I think I’ve cried more over him than I did my own grandfather, mostly because I knew my grandfather would pass sooner rather than later because he was so sick and was never getting out of the hospital. <br />
I think, looking back on it, the lord made it possible for us to get sealed and allowed me to soften my heart and have Bill and Ellen at the sealing mostly because he knew Bill wouldn’t be around much longer and it made him happy to see me there because hes only ever wanted the best for me. I still haven’t read the email he sent me, but I will one day when I have the strength to do it. I am so happy he was there and that I got to see him and hug him one last time. <br />
The crazy thing is that since hes passed away I’ve dreamt of him twice. One time we were just in the same place at the same time but he wasn’t able to speak to me. The next time hit me really hard. I dreamt that I was home at church and there were some choirs singing and someones dog pooped on the stage, not sure why there was a dog there but there was. Then my mom had to sing and she was deserting me and I was so upset that I didn’t have someone to sit with. Then I saw Heather Bruce sitting there waving me over to sit with her. When I got there she was sitting with Ellen and my dad. My dad moved over so I could sit between him and Ellen. As I sat down and looked at my dad I saw that Bill was sitting next to him and that he was smiling at me. I told everyone he was there and they all said he wasn’t and that he was gone, but I kept fighting them to tell them he was there. Then I woke up balling my eyes out. It was hard on me for the rest of the day. <br />
I loved Bill Frank, even though he wasn’t always my favorite person, he was an amazing loving man who meant more to me than just the man at church with the big voice who couldn’t whisper and said what was on his mind. Bill Frank to me was family. Hes like the crazy uncle people are sometimes embarrassed by but love more than anything in the world. I feel so blessed to have had him in my life and to have had him at my sealing. I know that if we didn’t invite him I would feel horrible about myself and wished that I had forgiven him in my heart for the words he had once said to me. <br />
Bill, you know I love ya! Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-77925632177655997442015-02-09T18:12:00.000-08:002015-02-09T18:14:55.513-08:00Nova Scotia pt.3<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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While being at home really didn't snow at all. There were a few flurries but never any real snow. And then all of a sudden the snow came and it stayed, for a little bit. But it made things look so beautiful!</div>
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Dey loves sea food and there was no way he was visiting NS without going to get some good ol fashioned seas food. We went to Warf Wraps down on the boardwalk and it is honestly one of the best places. We all got food, obviously mine had nothing to do with sea food, and it was so delicious. Dey loved it and hadn't seen a fish and chip platter have a fish that big. Dominic even loved the fries... which really isn't saying much because he loves any food that you give him off your plate pretty much... yes hes a dog I think.</div>
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Dominic loves snooping around the house and ended up in my moms room for a good 20 minutes or more playing with her drawers. He is also wearing his leggings and mocs from TeePeeTots&Co that he got for Christmas. Honestly they are so cute and a good price. I want to get more, especially because they make shorts too and I think that Dominic will look amazingly cute in them this summer. </div>
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So Dey left and we miss him like crazy but we are finding things to do for our last week here, which is so surreal to think that I am on my last week being at home. Dey left without his favourite hat because he lost it. We honestly looked every where, and called a bunch of places to see if it was left there but we had no luck. Then Josh and Lyla came by and mom mentioned it Josh only for him to say he hid it and pulled it out from behind a couch pillow. Honestly what a sense of relief because Dey was so super sad about not having his hat and I didn't want him to not have his favorite hat. So to tell Dey we had it we put it on Dominic and took a picture to send to him.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijf0nIrR-gTbHx0nnvmSZs9d3gEtCTEQnjb74a84imWnprDtthGSjYHLlm6ezsu9ydATvnF-Lyq74BQQmIFzH9SnygtLTnq_DD1guYC9TaS4GGmFFRqk85vg2-wsfzjYsegxqfWsnMcWjj/s640/blogger-image-406384371.jpg" /></div>
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Of course because Lyla and Josh were here and it was going to be our last day together I had to get another picture. I hate that we live so far away from family, especially the cutest girl I know. I wish AB and NS were a short drive away instead of a 5 hour plane ride that cost 600 +. I miss family. </div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRX7BkFtkMiqyTAffF448MlPbB0ZEY3QuV7K53fVvxOK_9gt9Fn74ponizHCZMqIXQlBThoHqHO65tmCdpY7Xy2YOq6luwmxOD8gwivvlMWkkwGoTuniT4yN6fMfplVH0wFNwqpOY_zy-G/s640/blogger-image-1233879618.jpg" /></div>
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This girl has my heart and has since the day she was born. Shes the best 6 year old I know, and is super funny and smart and has the cutest voice and I could just be with her forever.</div>
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This was the first time she really held him herself and it took some pressuring for her do so. She was a little jealous of him being around and so it was hard for her to really want to socialize with him. But this picture to me is just the cutest.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguTS6AvlymQDQ1hjfwb64e9FWJmE7PO7oBopUv6a_SdIWo2nofH_BZpTDccEHi-zn9Kq_GDrl-yR4rVcFwxT2WRCIOlcPwXHroXdbKGR75OyeEG1m7AXG3cOsrZObu4UGI-dIfkdmnfklW/s640/blogger-image-1582843599.jpg" /></div>
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I wanted to get a picture of Josh and Dominic together and Lyla wanted to get in on it, and it breaks my heart a little every time I see it because we aren't closer to them and Josh loved playing and hanging out with Dominic, and it makes me happy to know I have a loving family.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUfD1XBV5RaMUUcPZ-CiPxjAMZhbTf-CwYktwkzWnl6E5U0sJ7iAL_YYgzSxNkUhFUAGW8O2MiT9uGvuN4SJLVO4ZCEfPZQhGN5_LApyi-IwGAExuvlxLuI8BIh69qS8rihhsCTyabiOKr/s640/blogger-image--1109890058.jpg" /></div>
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When I was planning on coming home I decided that it would be a good idea to bring our swimming gear because I want Dominic to be a lover of the water like I am, so finally on our last week being there we went swimming... the water was super warm which is great because the kiddie pools here aren't that warm. The issue we had was that we forgot the towels, and by we I mean me. I forgot the towels and had to use my sweater to dry us of. luckily it wasn't that cold out so we didn't freeze.</div>
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We spent a day in our pjs and snuggled after being up until 1am after watching the bachelor. It was so great spending time with the girls, and having the company I don't get to enjoy being out here in Calgary. It was also super nice having the day to just spend all curled up together.</div>
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He wanted to get into the empty diaper box, and it was so funny because he spent a good while just sitting in it, and when he wanted out he would lean far enough over that he would just plop out of it.+</div>
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Being home at the same time as friends with babies are means baby cuddles and holding onto an almost 1 year old because you can. I love Sophia and it makes me want another baby really bad.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO_8bUxljKalgDX7wzdMtZ9d-PcpAQkOYGjypU655dP7TKSNQiSR7Vq5E4b7wshYKuZCYUliYsUK4aHakzHGElTQ3K76R-GQkubWie6N1JVd_LRQwsfMFdb4vE3kott9BDuE3dTla6RdBi/s640/blogger-image--1153440896.jpg" /></div>
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Of course coming up to the end of our trip means getting in as much papa cuddles in as much as we possibly can because who knows the next time we will get to go home and visit him. And they are the best of friends so they need to spend a lot of time together.</div>
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We made it to the airport and there were a lot of tears shed by all, minus Dominic. I honestly hate saying goodbye and hate that we live so far away from my parents. They love Dominic so much and want to spend so much time with him and being so far away is so hard for all. I miss them terribly and hate that the computer is the only way we ccan see each other, but it makes me thankful for modern day technology that allows me to do that.</div>
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Overall our trip was AMAZING and I want to go back asap! Dominic did so well on the plane ride home, he slept through take off and landing, but pooped 3 times during the flight... not so much fun! </div>
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I love my family, and I love my home, and I hope I get to go there again and maybe move there one day.</div>
Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-26509337325353715752015-01-26T19:40:00.001-08:002015-01-26T19:41:12.490-08:00Nova Scotia pt 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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So Christmas came around and of course because it is tradition we went to the nativity pageant and it felt as if I had never left home. I just love being home and I love our small nativity. To me that is Christmas.</div>
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Josh said that he was getting bored and needed things to do to entertain Lyla over the holidays and so I told him he could come with me and Dey to Peggy's Cove, and he did. He and Lyla ran all around while Dey and I kept it a little more low key as it was freezing and poor Dominic didn't like the cold.</div>
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We had to get family shots in with the lighthouse in the background. Its the most attractive angle but whatever.</div>
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Christmas eve came and I had adapted to the Pyjama Fairy tradition a few years back and so on Christmas eve we open our pjs. This year was Dominics first Christmas and it was really his first time having presents to open. He wasn't quite sure what to do and was more interested in the paper, but I was just so excited that he was home in NS with my family and getting to experience his first big holiday with them.</div>
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Of course we all got pjs and had to get a picture by the tree. We didn't do a picture last year by the tree mostly because we were alone and there was no one else to take a picture for us, and because I felt like I looked like a house I was so big and swollen from being pregnant.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgK602MJ0S2YZ_vb7o4tMlb36d0IVrbUL2aFpLYE3a2ugCnx4dF-eGuXYGzghrEzHRQWLjzWJGpCsaQ6NEuSNCwEOSzXJ33bcUd2weg7SXNAhxVby66apT77oMsZ4pogED2eQSDnnOMGHz/s640/blogger-image-817069075.jpg" /></div>
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I was so excited for Christmas morning so we could see Dominics reaction to things. But first we went to Joshs because he had to get Lyla back to Julias so we wanted to open gifts with her. When we got there she was so sick and throwing up in between opening gifts but then was ready to open another gift right away. We had breakfast there as well. It was a good morning spent with the cutest 6 year old I know.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfL8Dwxe528erG3Firau5SUavS9jixjz5ToeCEQyE9PsXT_83UFy2nd13kxTj36Nal2jIN1ujTo4iCuLyPLx8vJqhrRVKnkH4FQlo2r-uGXi7KwIMiFXD7xnspNY6CBucSRqmzWNKkzqMX/s640/blogger-image--1482220557.jpg" /></div>
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Dominic did really well at not touching the tree the whole time it was up. I made sure that my parents decorated when he was asleep so he wouldn't see us touching it and therefore he wouldn't really notice it being there. He touched it maybe twice on Christmas Day and that was it. I took some more pictures of him opening his gifts. Again he wasn't super excited about the gifts part but he did have a couple he wanted to play with the moment they were unwrapped.</div>
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His stocking was something he was unsure of, so he looked at it then of course, we opened it for him.</div>
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He loved it when grandma would read to him, and Im pretty sure we have a picture of mom and Lyla in the same chair and shirt on her first Christmas. Honestly, being near my parents was the best thing I have ever done.</div>
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While being at home I went through a bunch of my old pictures and none of them looked like Dominic, but I did think I had some keepers in there. I cannot believe how blonde and young and tiny I was. </div>
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On boxing day we went bowling, and it was the first time Dey and I had gone bowling together, and I bowled really bad the first game, which is typical, but my second game was great for me! I was shocked I did so well. It was fun hanging with my parents and doing this as they are on a bowling league and do this on a weekly basis.</div>
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So on the sunday before Christmas we got a text message from Shelley who lives upstairs that our letters came and so we had her fedex them to us and we talked to a member of a the stake presidency and asked him what he think would be ok for us to do and then my dad called the temple president and then he made a couple calls and we got the approval to be sealed while being at home. Saturday December 27th we became an eternal family. It was so great. Joanne Chatham watched Dominic until he needed to be brought in. Laura, Jeremy, the Franks, Heather Bruce, my parents, uncle Paul, and my Nanny were there. Dominic was so sweet in his white outfit and so calm and sweet. Honestly, Dey and I could not be more happy to see him in there with us and his sweet spirit just added to the experience. Honestly seeing him and feeling the way we did when he came in made everything well worth it and made me so much more happy that we went the route we did.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb47_oz2Hi-akEtlTytEl-nHL1rRgSXm1ooigle1CvGp-y07vJGtXNMxsmdx22ohYpLVm6dSx9UfUjQ72t1sBn0ZHl-RvK1cuP6qtuyEswJ04so0QwNBqk3UOdEdbH9bSyeXcEWmGBeJ6f/s640/blogger-image--495378785.jpg" /></div>
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I love my little family. And I cannot wait for the next big chapter in our lives, whatever it may be.</div>
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After the temple we went home, got dressed and then headed out playing tourist again. This time one of the stops included my grampies grave. It was hard to keep my emotions in check because it didn't really hit me that he was gone until I saw it. He always loved peppermints so instead of fake flowers I brought him those because I know he would much rather that than flowers. I miss that man, and miss him everyday, and wish I could have said goodbye to him one last time.</div>
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We went to Lawrence Town beach and it was beautiful. Cold, but beautiful. I love the ocean and I wish we lived closer to it. It always made me wish we were home in the summer time because then we could go in the water and not overly freeze.</div>
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On the 28th we got to bless Dominic. We were waiting to bless him until we had family to assist in it, and we did. Josh, my dad, the bishop, Dey and uncle Paul all assisted. This trip was amazing, we did so much for our family while we were there. I was so happy.</div>
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Laura and Jeremy, and of course Little Sophia were there and we were super happy to have a few more friendly faces to enjoy in our happy days together. </div>
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Dey, Dad, Dominic and I took the ferry over to downtown Halifax and walked around a bit and again it makes me miss being there so much more. I miss my family and I miss my home.</div>
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Going through old things I came across all of my old girls camp awards, and this one by far is better and more funny than the rest. We gave each other nicknames and for some reason I got stuck with pubert and it made me think of puberty and so that's the award I got.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcsOrv0uBGJ6I7_1FpZEUgJ5WC5rlBm6h0FQoq_0KY1KiEueiO_AKaIcCJ47lGlhmfWLMDuzx89kUMHtz1ptVWcaJjTWGOE7VSmfkwZP_sHVrxf7tkYSpQUJWYD7gdhsbHFBkq69FzBdKk/s640/blogger-image-1478366466.jpg" /></div>
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Josh gave Dominic new pjs and he got them because they say "I dig staying up" which is fitting for Dominic because hes up a lot throughout the night. I think they are just too cute, and they make him look so grown up.</div>
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Dey went to the Primerica office in Halifax and said he wouldn't take long, so here were sitting in the cold car trying to pass time and took a few pictures. I just love my little boy and I love being at home with him. Hes just the cutest.</div>
Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-70736353967905757412014-12-22T19:00:00.000-08:002014-12-22T19:00:56.320-08:00Nova Scotia pt. 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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So as man people know, I have been home in NS since December 4th. The day I left started off with the last of our swimming classes. Dey came to this one because I wanted him to see the classes we had been taking for the past 11 weeks. Dominic didn't look at the camera but I really liked the picture of me... I feel skinny in it haha<br />after swimming Dey had some running around to do in the south so we went with him, and then when we got home I finished packing and what not to get read for our upcoming flight that night. I am a nervous pre-flyer but once I get my baggage checked I am a lot calmer. This time however, I was more nervous than usual because I was flying with Dominic and all of his extra stuff (car seat and stroller and diaper bag along with my carry on). I was also nervous about the weight of my bag because I was limited to 1 bag for 2 people for a 5 week trip and that is a hard thing to do especially when it is over the holidays and you have some gifts that you are bringing with you. Why not just buy everything in NS you ask? Well when you pay 5% tax where you live and are visiting a place where they pay 15% you kind of want to save whenever you can.</div>
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swimming day fun</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcapmzyx1HP1Effgdmblc42a0d2pYtRwePWDgZJuhqhnYhBCPxV5A49iBjDRv6uoc8yZlVEua8132oOUUXq-zw2riAFDwvTNPQW_CRbV_Io8YRxzVUAmgypgNNzDG2MCKKPpYhvRb_YIcF/s640/blogger-image--6039502.jpg" /></div>
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I decided that it would be a good idea to take an airport selfie with Dominic because I felt like it was the right thing to do. The flight went really well. Dominic was awake for the first hour and half but then finally fell asleep, but woke up twice while in flight so I just nursed him back to sleep. I was lucky to get an aisle seat so if needed I could get up with him if he wake up and wanted to move around. Luckily he didn't really wake up until the end of the flight where he cried during landing. I didn't feel too bad about his crying at this point because it was at the end of the flight and not the start so we would be getting off the plane pretty soon. </div>
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When we landed we were the last ones off the plane because I had him in my carrier and had the diaper bag plus a carry on and it is really hard to maneuver down the little aisle on the plane. I figured that by the time we got off the plane and down to baggage my parents, or at least my mom, would be waiting for us. But when I turned on my phone there was a message from my mom saying they were late because my moms flight didn't get in until 2 am because of some issues in Chicago and I got in at 630 am and they were a little tired. So I had to wait about 15 mins or so until they got there but then we went on our way to my house. I was so happy and excited to be there. I was pretty tired because I only dozed a bit on the plane because it is not easy sleeping with a 20lbs dead weight in your arms. When we got home Dominic and I took a nap for a bit then did some running around with my mom and dropped in to see my nanny. It was a pretty good day and Dominic did really well considering he didn't get that much sleep and I just kept him up until it was around his bed time in Calgary and then he did his regular sleeping routine and adjusted right away to the time difference.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic2HnsodLa7HqXxkAKoKQE5reKoEG8Hxpxkg9-ZdpAKHCRmDCJ46SCJTf1xHiSqz-zkg-e3FDqhj93GW-BQ5Fu0eQy3jQkH_v4WcyXZAu-9MtXsmEay5e2qe08ewvPYFHO43iuo2Wsj4hD/s640/blogger-image--74233884.jpg" /></div>
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When my grampie passed away I asked if there was anything of his that my nanny kept, like his hats that he always used to wear and she said that she got rid of everything, but then remembered that she held onto 1 hat because something told her not to get rid of it and I am so glad that she did because I now have it. It was really hard for me not being here when he passed away or for the funeral but I am really happy that I got to get the hat, and so I put it on Dominic.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibguPMJNVtAvq_xZoaS_hjvdLSfXrRPGuIhnTn9YWyl9PRFwQ5vgL1KIW7WSMpOZRWpHaCqCtZa1j8OHR0aCraeevoO1WsMYDwXybGptDtTxYV3fNoHNEF7HhyphenhyphennqizdEuYnCfkcPezJL8u/s640/blogger-image--500087152.jpg" /></div>
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So, the last time I was at my grandparents house I was visiting with them in their living room and out of the corner of my eye I saw this creepy troll doll. Then when I was at my nanny's new place it was still there. Honestly, it is the creepiest thing I have seen in a really long time, and I am not sure why my nanny keeps it. </div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh2lyQBToKxr4qu4GavZj4DThEtm19NZflNO33VmiQReRQGfoY46CFBMZjE-5puUlVBrZ2EUT8eDWyjjEApi3WhKMHa_MYIosLsWl_llEBhU76_xTXrIzXzzWBUPq4GztUvpxegmo2-8eO/s640/blogger-image--2018667699.jpg" /></div>
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I went driving around one day and I was driving down this one road and remembered that Cortney used to live off a side street there so I quickly turned down the road and found her old house which I visited frequently when they lived here for those 4 months.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Yt8_ubq9p588Jajr6k_Z9_uJxM8O6u111jKNpqgt5M_VkW5-wh7dmoQbJMEtCHhc5usEnh0Ozi0ZAVeS5u-hkW21QoHYitUtt9kF00igXGT4K-j0lr_HyR-8Wes6fzyZjrUAH4gadNpX/s640/blogger-image--1398541952.jpg" /></div>
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My bishops daughter is serving her mission here and just so happened to be in my parents ward for the past little while, but recently got transferred to PEI but not before we got to take a picture together.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimcOZCGdBtfmg3myVxfwC92Iz_mqjNujcXbjS5Fan5yJxCyKR__CdsRdJcDaxDFjzAwuQ8r8JpLt1g1gpQ_xhcNtzfUz07Qyl3cS1-VIoRGPM7hIDCzHpfljnc2-Jut0qHovQ7qd1lthiI/s640/blogger-image--1667673397.jpg" /></div>
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I was so excited for these two little kidlets to meet. Honestly I have always loved Lyla more than I could ever explain to anyone, but not that I have a son I have been so excited for him to meet his oldest cousin. It was a cute moment that quickly turned into "don't touch me" because someone is getting jealous of all the attention that isn't being paid to her anymore. But, she is obsessed with Dey and always wants to play and jump and hang around with him, and even Josh said that it was weird behavior for her. I think it is cute.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcsbEEd7JA2j4NJRvw-ywfEz95Yg2FlXyvkUs9CkEgfvmgP1et9x6ugw-mCV6MtASLiZ4LsOkAlt0h6wEI7troUsxdlsN2xxJy5X-kXLNYWUM5bsx5I-ePAL95BdeR_udSUxaxfrKFuzd5/s640/blogger-image-824277443.jpg" /></div>
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Honestly I just love her so much. I wish that we lived closer so we could hang out more and she could have more cousins to play with, plus I just want her to be my bff.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ycDv3l18IrjuFIZ9lLGloiPDOxLkijXvw2kWiFPQSPG8qEUyGR8KUbLh5ZrtDZ7iKINIEnq70ewAhYOFKGuveSc5wjyDStBArLDBxpWzniLpB1r772pje7TxGPfB1WXxSbf-NbFWLRYk/s640/blogger-image-739156568.jpg" /></div>
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I forgot how much I loved my parents wood stove and really took it for granted growing up. But now that I am here I am so in love with it and loving the heat it provides.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwBkVfiDc2S_reGDmtWgXuvzpZjN0xxfv3dnWX8zLl8jKcb0nPpJVkEWI2vUSNmx4yxYkChS-anqieseKLLFt5zPZLJl6AmcEvRYUjHySV7TSKGHSS4iBjijyJLqB8p5KUXNLJK4rLZweb/s640/blogger-image-203168670.jpg" /></div>
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My dads nickname is scary Barry and kids don't normally like going near him, so we thought it would be interesting to see what Dominic would do with him, but they have become such good buddies its heart warming. Dominic will follow my dad every where and wait for him outside of the bathroom. My dad has even said that he doesn't know what he is going to do when we leave and that he wont be able to handle the airport so he better be working when we do go. I am going to be crying when I leave because I am sad to be leaving them and to see Dominic not be near his grandparents. He loves my mom too I Swear but when dads home that's who he spends a lot of time with. </div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWuKj30R8_VUzha_ObUnnopDNpnh6xag7cJJY2OBCcTw_MRvkvu-1OM7zuZVBc4ozgFHWcrALyDU2zYDguSBdXHtzhyuUw0gsvCJE-n7aEYufDMY5m7lFROa8bmkklAnmxJyiMH7RnP4i6/s640/blogger-image-751624388.jpg" /></div>
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Christmas Tree Shopping</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiApDcdxRVU0nXPFTTkLBHKOz1hmK60fDJreBs1jQaETpfg4w0DpR81HWddFteBxEdZOZgCBIMCLDiDc99wTicLTbtl0_mByQEAClBairZWqX3cSHwIIwOm7LNpcwB-IKX5OboIQDRyrrf/s640/blogger-image--522693545.jpg" /></div>
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So as I said my dad and Dominic are best buddies and he loves having him around. My dad even puts him in his car seat and enjoys riding in the back with him.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqjwQwgJBbJPNw6uxoQW78iLrTkaRHn8TQLyUcmauD6MQSpW41AIyVu9uHNY991uNwSvrU-gMNKN6RLvn1KdzLjZeenGaR7Cf-T9E3B4l-irzrdNPH4YDDsdh9yjVa0nZ26weIXN3FaFI8/s640/blogger-image-952396430.jpg" /></div>
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We encountered a duck crossing randomly the other day and I thought it was the cutest thing I have seen in a really long time. I had to snap a quick picture because it was too cute, and took about 10 minutes for them to waddle on over. They actually stop and looked both ways before crossing, smart ducks!</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_f_3sBfNoBFaR6-qZSG-y3tSq5GOUfYwZP_Uh_LGQ0IST-68RFPBwuh50M3-zbvfI-cW5dQo2YA8z3irq6_4r4Hgpy5Ryqh1vjff2FVevxtmMtrlPg1iPj3p_pBoVpu4uB43yQ4wbFHJi/s640/blogger-image-1152416967.jpg" /></div>
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The ward here was having their Christmas party and we went and my mom was dressed up and so we put the Santa hat on Dominic and quickly snapped a shot before he took it off. The party was interesting and it was fun seeing a few people, and my uncle played Santa and that is not something anyone would have expected him to do. I forgot how much I love my parents ward. It will always be my family ward and will always have a big part of my heart.</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO07wlwzTrzPbuyrNVFp-1sSlT9Ddy4GrQnAJvwT6lkhQF3Konl63ifO7b1q4dSQ1waJFw0OxoQwo3L9hQhtuQdS5tYPdr_qCC_hqTgpP-0uPNd7iLPuJKRPKo6zrgA1gK_woNpQRhEMuW/s640/blogger-image-1968581253.jpg" /></div>
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I told my mom when she was taking her laundry downstairs to put Dominic in her basket. I have never put him in ours and I thought it would be cute to see what he would do and he loved it so much that once he was out he wanted to get back in immediately. </div>
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The other day I had to opportunity to take my nanny out to run some errands. She has been sick and has to wear an eye patch so she cannot drive herself around. While at the superstore I captured this moment of her playing around with Dominic in the cart as she shopped around. I know she has been a little lonely since my grandfather has passed away so I know she has loved spending time with us whenever she can.</div>
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I have been waiting to take Dominic to see a Santa until we got here and Dey arrived. I wanted us to experience this together, so when he got into town the first place we went was to the mall and got our pictures. The best surprise was that they started to do the pictures for free. I was willing to pay for a picture but was so happy that I didn't have to. Dominic was happy with Santa and would look and smile at him and touch his beard but the moment he looked at the camera he looked upset and sad. He is a weird little kid.</div>
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That night when we got home my dad and Dey met face to face for the first time and I have to say that things have gone much better than I thought they might. They have been getting along and joking around and just having a good time. I have noticed that they have a similar sense of humor where they think they are funnier than they really are, and it is great that they are meshing well together.</div>
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I have been so excited to get home because it meant that I could get my hair done by my favorite and long time hair dresser, and even though she barely works now and sold her salon because she is an MLA she still works occasionally and I was told by her to call and put my name on a list to see her and I would eventually get in to see her. So I did just that and I cannot tell you how much happier and better I feel about myself after getting my hair done. I feel awesome!</div>
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I took Dey around some touristy places and I took him down Cow Bay and showed him the coast and there were people surfing. I have never loved NS but all of a sudden I have been seeing it in a different light. I love this place and noticed how beautiful it was until now. Dey even said he could see us living here at some point. I got to see my friend Megan as well since I have been home and that is the first time we have seen each other in 2.5 years and it was amazing to see her and have her meet Dominic, and I cannot wait until she can meet Dey as well. She is the only person left from school that I keep in contact with and we are still great friends even after all this time and I just love and adore her and appreciate our friendship more than she probably even knows.</div>
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On Saturday I went through the temple for myself and it was great! I can understand how and why people get weird-ed out and scared but I left there thinking "oh, that's it? that's not bad at all" I guess for me I was ready and prepared and just focused on what was being said and it was a great moment. Laura's mom was there for part of it and even cried a little which made me tear up a bit and it just made that day so much more meaningful and special. I am so happy I got to go through here with my family and a couple friends and the adjustment to things have honestly been easy and not uncomfortable at all. I feel great and happy and I am loving life. </div>
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The other week before we left to come home we were at a friends house and Dominic climbed his first stair. He has never climbed any since, until being here because my mother has showed him how to do this. It has been a fun experience here and he is growing a lot and having a blast. </div>
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I actually don't nurse at all anymore and he is strictly on cows milk which has been a bitter sweet moment for me. I was tired of nursing him and I running out of time to ween him before I got to work when I get back so we did it here, and it has been so easy, which is great, but at the same time a little emotional because we no longer have that time to just sit and stare at each other and connect and cuddle like that. I have cried a little about it here and there, but at the same time I am so thankful the transition has been easy and that I even had the chance to nurse him to begin with.</div>
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My trip home has been going by so quickly and it has been amazing thus far and I know that there are more fun days to come and possibly a christmas miracle.</div>
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I am blogging from my parents computer and their keyboard is crap and my hand is cramping so there are plenty of spelling mistakes, and I have to break my trip down into a few posts. I know that there will probably be some missing facts but I am thankful I have the chance to blog at all. </div>
Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-35590815064953236442014-11-24T21:02:00.002-08:002014-11-24T21:02:53.465-08:0010 Month OldHow on earth did we get to double digit months??? Honestly, when they say time flies they mean it. It's not just a figure of speech anymore because the last I checked I was still in the hospital eager to get home with my sweet little baby.... Apparently I blinked and time has escaped me. <br />
Dominic <strong><em>finally</em></strong> has teeth, 2 to be exact, and he is a biting machine. He stopped biting me when he nurses so that's a plus. But he does like to come up to me and bite my arm.<br />
He is into everything! he is all over the place and tearing the place apart. I don't bother cleaning sometimes for days because hes just going to make a mess again and it is pointless. <br />
He isn't sleeping much better, but I have stopped nursing and rocking him to sleep now. I am able to lay at the end of my bed and put my hand in the crib and he holds/lays on it until he falls asleep. He was sleeping the first 3.5-4 hours straight before waking, but the past few days that has changed and he has been waking up 3+ times before midnight even hits... and then he wakes what seems like 10 million more times after midnight.. I still love him though!<br />
He waves, gives kisses, gives high fives, smacks his lips if we do it first, turns the lights on/off, he crawls pretty fast, he knows who pooh bear is, he walks along furniture, he pulls himself up on walls, he talks with his little walking toy, he loves the fridge and every time I open it he comes a running so he can shut the door on me or try to get inside, and he has even taken 1 single step by himself before face planting into my arms. <br />
He has such an attitude, which I am sure he gets mostly from me. He likes to defy me while looking back at me with a semi smile while doing it. <br />
He's slowly starting to know the sign for milk, although it looks more like a wave, but when I do it and say milk he does it back. <br />
When I ask him if he wants to do something, and if he does, he will make a certain sound that has an excited tone to it that means he wants to do it. <br />
This little boy is growing so fast I wouldn't believe it were possible if I haven't witnessed it first hand. <br />
I know that once we get to NS he will just grow so much more. I want time to slow down, but I know that wont happen, so I guess I really want time to speed up so that way I can be done working already. <br />
Heres to hoping Dominic doesn't grow up too quickly!!!Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-50268112359226319302014-11-24T20:45:00.001-08:002014-11-24T20:45:26.689-08:00TempleThese past few weeks I have been taking the temple prep courses and because I am in primary I have been doing them before church. This has made for some very long sundays. Also because I am leaving in <strong>9 days</strong> we had to speed things up a bit and boy am I glad we did! I was able to have classes combined and got them all done in 4 weeks. I also was able to get my recommend from the bishop and stake president, which is not an easy thing to do because our stake president isn't around a lot. <br />
So friday in preparation for going home and going through the temple for the first time, we went to the distribution centre. I was told I should bring someone with me but there really wasn't anyone around so it was just Dey and myself. People say it is overwhelming going and getting everything, but I was lucky to have the best Customer Service patron ever, Brenda. <br />
We walked in the store, I was a little nervous but more excited than anything, we were immediately greeted by 2 ladies and they said "are you ok to just help yourselves?" and I said "Not really, I am going through for my first time." Brenda immediately walked over to us with the biggest warmest smile on her face and said "Lets start with the dresses. I think it's best to start here and work our way over." I just followed her lead and away we went. <br />
She showed me the dresses and said "We have a lot of styles and normally people will just glance at them and one will stand out to them" then she looked me up and down and said "we do have the Barbie doll dress that is made for our bigger boobed sisters..." Yes, I have big boobs, but hopefully when I stopped nursing (which I will be starting to wean pretty soon here) my boobs will go back down. Plus the dress looked like too much for me and looked really heavy. <br />
There was one that I saw on the mannequin that I was drawn to and so I tried that one on along with the skirt. The dresses I think are made kind of small, but I couldn't avoid getting the size I did. The skirts were just not cutting it, but the dress when I tried it on was a perfect fit for me and I felt kind of pretty in it. I know they say when you go to the temple its not about what you look like and not to think of trying to look pretty, but in this dress I felt wonderful. <br />
Then we went to the tights and shows and everything else for the ceremony and the lady was too funny. I would pick things out and she would be like "oh good that's my favorite" or when she would get me to pick between fabrics or styles she would say "pick me pick me" haha So I did. <br />
Then we went over the garment part and because I took a pole of my friends and what their favorite style was I went ahead with that and she assumed I would as well. <br />
She told me I should maybe get a cotton pair for sleeping in because, and I quote, "Now that you're active, like you know active, you may want these to let things breathe." I honestly had to keep myself from laughing so hard. <br />
This lady was such a sweet spirit and made me going there and getting everything seem like a breeze. I was pretty thrilled with it all, minus the amount of money it cost, but still that's ok. It will all be worth it in the end.<br />
I cannot wait to get home and have this happen, even if it's just me going through and not us being sealed just yet... still waiting for the clearance to come in. Either way it will be great!<br />
<br />Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-83886272223505820452014-11-22T12:55:00.002-08:002014-11-22T12:55:19.410-08:00Why Bother?Since having my son it has taken me a while to start working out. At first it was because I had a c section, so I had to wait at least 6 weeks before I could even lift anything heavier than my baby, and after the 6 weeks "ok" from the doctor I was still nervous about doing anything because the middle of my incision wasn't healing as quick as the rest. <br />
Dominic was born in January and in may I started off small and did the 30 day squat challenge. Then when June hit I decided to do the 3 day Ab challenge. I did the first, lets say week, and then my incision bubbled up and popped open and left a hole. It wasn't a big enough hole that I was worried and should see a doctor, but it was enough that I was nervous to do anything else. <br />
I started walking 5k a few times a week but when Deys mom came I got out of the habit and have been having trouble finding the motivation to do anything really since then. <br />
Now the past couple of weeks I have been doing minor things at night when Dominic goes to sleep and yesterday I woke up and my scar was bothering me. Now this happens every once and while anyway, but when I looked at it, it bubbled up again and then it popped open. It is not a pretty site and it makes me wonder why I even bother trying to do anything that could help me lose weight because my scar seems to hate me and makes it hard to do anything. I have given up pop now for about 2 months, and I am trying to cut back on sweets as well. <br />
I guess I am just frustrated thinking about when I have to go back to work and my pants don't fit because I am heavier than I was before... I want to work out but I am so scared about my scar it keeps me from doing so. <br />
So, why bother? Plus, if I want anymore kids I'm just gonna get heavy again anyway, so why do something if its just gonna go back to the way I am. <br />
It makes me think I shouldn't even try until after I am done having kids... <br />
<br />Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-13789048734880921752014-11-15T20:32:00.000-08:002014-11-15T20:32:28.882-08:002 Months...As I have been sitting here counting down the days until I go home ( <strong>18</strong>) I noticed that it will soon be December and that means it will soon be January. <br />
January will be the hardest month of my mothering life I think. I know that I have talked about this before but I am having a real hard time thinking about going back to work in January. I know sometimes it seems like I talk about the same things over and over again, but when they really bother me I have to voice it in some way and this the best way I feel like I can get all my feelings out. <br />
Tonight, as I was holding Dominic's hand as he cried in his crib and I said yet another prayer for him to find the peace and calmness he needs to go to sleep at night without me holding him I started to cry the 50 millionth tear I have shed over this boy since he was born. <br />
I actually prayed that Dominic would find a way to sleep without needing me and that maybe I will be able to find a way to go to work in January without needing to be near him the way I do. <br />
I love this boy so stinking much its insane and people have told me before that they didn't experience what I feel for their own kids, and it makes me feel like I love too much and too hard. <br />
Someone made a suggestion to me and asked if work would set up a payment plan for me to pay them back what they gave me for those 5 months so I don't have to go back to work, and I know they wouldn't. Plus, I need to go back to work because we have a plan in place, and we thought we might as well set aside the difference of pay from EI and work each time and use that towards something else, like me not working afterwards, or moving to a different place. <br />
I already know that my first day back to work will be the most emotional because I haven't spent more than maybe 5 hours away from him at a time, and well he is very much obsessed with nursing and I will be working on weaning him off and I'm pretty sure I will worry all day long about how Dey is doing by himself. He has never spent more than probably an hour and a half with him alone without me there just in case. <br />
I have so many worries about what will happen, and about how Dominic will cope without me. <br />
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Will he forget about the year we spent together?<br />
Will he be sad when I leave because he doesn't get upset now when I do?<br />
Will he not want to be near me as much?<br />
Will I not get cuddles anymore in our rocking chair? <br />
Will I slip into a depression because this anxiety is killing me?<br />
Will I even be able to make it the 6 months of working? <br />
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Honestly this is something I am not ready for, and the quicker it approaches the more and more I dread it. I am excited to go home but I know that only 6 days after I get back here I will have to go back to work and that is a scary thought.<br />
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On a happy note, I have started my Christmas shopping and hopefully everything I have ordered will be here before I leave to go home. I also need to make a trip to IKEA soon because we are getting Dominic a tent from there to have here for when he gets home. he loves hiding under blankets so I am sure a tent will be a hoot and a half!<br />
Well, happy Saturday night to you all and a wonderful Sunday tomorrow!Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063067846522317230.post-50540576188440481092014-11-14T19:34:00.001-08:002014-11-14T19:49:21.053-08:00TEETH!After about 6 months of many upsetting and cranky days, drooling faces, and teeth that have been there one day and gone pretty much the same day, it has FINALLY happened. <div>About 2 weeks ago I felt a tooth, and wasn't too quick to get excited that it would stay because it's done this before. Well this time it stayed and not only that a second one has popped up right next to it! I would post a picture but he won't let me get a picture or even really look at his teeth.</div><div>From what he has flashed me of his little chompers, which he's bite me with more than once while feeding, it looks like one of them is a little less than straight and I think that this is why they have bothered him so much. I think maybe the one kept hitting the other. </div><div>Now that these little suckers have graced us with their presence sleeping has improved, not by much but just a little. I've stopped rocking him to sleep this week because he didn't want to sit still anymore in my arms so now I hold his hand through the crib and eventually, with lots of prayers, he finally goes to sleep. He only wakes up about 3 maybe 4 times a night and that's a lot better than the 7+ times a night he was up before. </div><div>I might go get an ice cream cake tomorrow because I think it's well deserved after all the hard days I was subjected to. </div><div>I love my son but it's not the easiest being his mom some days! </div><div>But YAY for teeth!!! </div>Vanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700683608010344490noreply@blogger.com0