Wednesday, February 2, 2011

"I'd Lie..."

Dear J.
I am not "man" enough to send this to you, but it's something that I've needed to do for a long time now.
My heart broke when it all went down. I ached for the pain that was caused by this decision and I cried many days and nights because it hurts me so much to see the people i love hurting.
What really sucks the most is that I can kind of understand that you did what you had to do, but I just wish that you hadn't cut me out of your life as well.
I went through a pretty rough time for a while where my choices weren't the best ones, and at one point all I wanted to do was call you up and talk like we used to. You always knew what to say and I loved you for it.
It just feels so weird to not have you around anymore; for you to not be here for me like you were.
The thought of ever contacting you scares me and I wish it didnt have to be that way, but I feel that you made it that way.
Why?? I have so many questions that all start with why... As Im sure most people do, but mine, I think, are different than theirs.
I want you to know, that I will always love the girl I knew, and because of her my life has been changed forever.
You were apart of it for over 5 years and I will cherish every memory I have of and with you.

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