Lately I have been having a few down days and have been feeling a little blue. Im not sure if its because I am home most of the time and I am getting cabin fever or if its because I haven't been getting as much sleep as I used to. Either way I have had some off days.
Dominic has been fussy lately and it is making things a bit more difficult and taking a toll on me and in return I am getting frustrated more easily.
The most frustrating thing is that Dey and I are coming up on our 1 year anniversary (crazy I know!) and we have been planning on getting sealed in NS this summer. However, Dey has been married before and got married in the Temple so in order for us to get sealed he needs to get a sealing clearance. This is something that we have been asking our bishop about for months now and wondering when and how we can start the process. It has taken the bishop months to get back to us and it turns out we aren't allowed to make an application until we have hit the 1 year mark and he says we cant even start the process until then either. Now the worst part is that we need a letter from Deys ex and she is very vindictive and will probably take her sweet time doing it, or wont do it at all. And if she refuses then Dey has to write a letter, but the bishop says that he has to ask his ex for the letter. I don't understand why we cant just request it now and so that way it wont take as long.
I want to go home so badly. I haven't been home in about a year and half plus I want to get sealed already. I can already feel the adversary trying to thwart our progress and it is really frustrating.
I want this so bad and I cannot wait until it happens. I want to go home in August but it might not be that quick. I have been praying for it to go by quickly and easily, and I have asked my mom to pray as well. We could use all the prayers there are out there to hopefully help make this a smooth and quick process. I miss family and I want to see them, but most importantly I want to make my little family a forever family.
Now tonight is the Backstreet Boys Concert and I am oh so excited about going. It will be my 4th time seeing them, but my first time seeing them with Kevin and in Calgary. I love them and I cannot wait for it. This will be the first time I'm leaving Dominic with someone other than Dey and for more than an hour and I am getting very anxious about it.
We are leaving him with Michelle who I trust fully and I have the utmost confidence in for taking care of Dominic, she is so loving and attentive I know that things will be fine, but I am having the hardest time wanting to leave. I love my son and have been around him everyday. I know I need to leave him eventually but it's still hard. I really want to go but I might cry a little before I leave.
I've heard people say this is normal but it doesn't feel normal right now, I feel like I'm an idiot for feeling this way but I cant help it. He has been apart of me for almost a year now (conception-present) and I just cant imagine spending a night away from him.
So hopefully things go smoothly tonight!!