I remember being a little girl running into my kitchen towards my mom and begging her to pick me up in her arms by saying "uppy uppy uppy" over and over again. I remember cuddling with her in church as she gently rocked me to sleep. I also remember when the last place I wanted to be was around her and feeling like things were unfair and that I wanted my life to be different.
12 weeks ago I was blessed to be a mother to a beautiful baby boy and I have been amazed by the overwhelming love I feel for him every second of every day. Because I have had a baby, my appreciation for my very own mother has grown leaps and bounds. I have appreciated my mother in the past but not to the extent that I do now.
My mom has made 2 trips out to see me and for the first time in what feels like forever I was overjoyed to have her around. I wanted to be that little girl again wanting my mother to hold me in her arms and rock me to sleep like she had many years before.
The first time my mom came out was a week after Dominic was born and I was still in major recovery mode and couldn't do a whole lot for myself. She didn't mind being in the house 24/7 and cleaning up and cooking for me. I felt like I was a sick child where the mother is there to watch over and protect their little one until they are ready to run and play again.
The next time my mom came out was in March and the recovery period had ended and things were a lot easier for me. Now this time she wasn't "needed" as much because I was able to do things for myself, but she still helped out when and where she could and I was so grateful to have her here.
I look at Dominic and I know that I would do anything for him because I have this undeniable love for him and it has been that way since the first time the nurse put him on my chest an hour after he was born.
I now know the love my mother has for me, even though at times I may not have deserved it, and I love her so much more for what she has done for me.
I hope one day I can be half the mother she is.