I have always been the girl who has never been able to express herself very well. I tend to hide them away and never let anyone in to see them. This has caused a lot of issues with me emotionally where I have seriously not been able to get up out of bed. I have a fear of judgment and rejection and this in return has caused me to close off so many aspects of my life to people because Im scared of what may happen.
Normally Im not willing to let people in and see my emotions, but here I am so happy that I cant keep them in all the time. Im sure people are hating me and the fact that Im happy all the time, but honestly I think its about time that Im this happy. Ive been closed off and unhappy far too much in my life and its about time that things change.
Saturday night I was out with the boy, and yes he is a big part of my happiness, and I seriously was shaking like a leaf. I have known for a little while, but I wasnt sure how I would open myself up to this, and I needed clarification on a few things to help make it easier for me to do. Then I decided "its now or never! no point in hiding now."
This is when things exploded because I dropped the BOMB! This is something I didnt think I would ever do, and definitely not do it first, but I did. Im sure so many people are probably thinking that Im crazy but quite frankly I dont care. None of them are in this relationship. Its just me and him and honestly I wouldnt change anything at all.
Saturday night/early Sunday morning is when everything changed and I finally took down my last wall I was hiding behind. This is the moment when I realized that life from here on out wont ever be the same, and this is something I am ok with!
Big explosive things...