Nova Scotia pt 2

So Christmas came around and of course because it is tradition we went to the nativity pageant and it felt as if I had never left home. I just love being home and I love our small nativity. To me that is Christmas.

Josh said that he was getting bored and needed things to do to entertain Lyla over the holidays and so I told him he could come with me and Dey to Peggy's Cove, and he did. He and Lyla ran all around while Dey and I kept it a little more low key as it was freezing and poor Dominic didn't like the cold.

We had to get family shots in with the lighthouse in the background. Its the most attractive angle but whatever.

Christmas eve came and I had adapted to the Pyjama Fairy tradition a few years back and so on Christmas eve we open our pjs. This year was Dominics first Christmas and it was really his first time having presents to open. He wasn't quite sure what to do and was more interested in the paper, but I was just so excited that he was home in NS with my family and getting to experience his first big holiday with them.

Of course we all got pjs and had to get a picture by the tree. We didn't do a picture last year by the tree mostly because we were alone and there was no one else to take a picture for us, and because I felt like I looked like a house I was so big and swollen from being pregnant.

I was so excited for Christmas morning so we could see Dominics reaction to things. But first we went to Joshs because he had to get Lyla back to Julias so we wanted to open gifts with her. When we got there she was so sick and throwing up in between opening gifts but then was ready to open another gift right away. We had breakfast there as well. It was a good morning spent with the cutest 6 year old I know.

Dominic did really well at not touching the tree the whole time it was up. I made sure that my parents decorated when he was asleep so he wouldn't see us touching it and therefore he wouldn't really notice it being there. He touched it maybe twice on Christmas Day and that was it. I took some more pictures of him opening his gifts. Again he wasn't super excited about the gifts part but he did have a couple he wanted to play with the moment they were unwrapped.

His stocking was something he was unsure of, so he looked at it then of course, we opened it for him.

He loved it when grandma would read to him, and Im pretty sure we have a picture of mom and Lyla in the same chair and shirt on her first Christmas. Honestly, being near my parents was the best thing I have ever done.

While being at home I went through a bunch of my old pictures and none of them looked like Dominic, but I did think I had some keepers in there. I cannot believe how blonde and young and tiny I was.

On boxing day we went bowling, and it was the first time Dey and I had gone bowling together, and I bowled really bad the first game, which is typical, but my second game was great for me! I was shocked I did so well. It was fun hanging with my parents and doing this as they are on a bowling league and do this on a weekly basis.

So on the sunday before Christmas we got a text message from Shelley who lives upstairs that our letters came and so we had her fedex them to us and we talked to a member of a the stake presidency and asked him what he think would be ok for us to do and then my dad called the temple president and then he made a couple calls and we got the approval to be sealed while being at home. Saturday December 27th we became an eternal family. It was so great. Joanne Chatham watched Dominic until he needed to be brought in. Laura, Jeremy, the Franks, Heather Bruce, my parents, uncle Paul, and my Nanny were there. Dominic was so sweet in his white outfit and so calm and sweet. Honestly, Dey and I could not be more happy to see him in there with us and his sweet spirit just added to the experience. Honestly seeing him and feeling the way we did when he came in made everything well worth it and made me so much more happy that we went the route we did.

I love my little family. And I cannot wait for the next big chapter in our lives, whatever it may be.

After the temple we went home, got dressed and then headed out playing tourist again. This time one of the stops included my grampies grave. It was hard to keep my emotions in check because it didn't really hit me that he was gone until I saw it. He always loved peppermints so instead of fake flowers I brought him those because I know he would much rather that than flowers. I miss that man, and miss him everyday, and wish I could have said goodbye to him one last time.

We went to Lawrence Town beach and it was beautiful. Cold, but beautiful. I love the ocean and I wish we lived closer to it. It always made me wish we were home in the summer time because then we could go in the water and not overly freeze.

On the 28th we got to bless Dominic. We were waiting to bless him until we had family to assist in it, and we did. Josh, my dad, the bishop, Dey and uncle Paul all assisted. This trip was amazing, we did so much for our family while we were there. I was so happy.

Laura and Jeremy, and of course Little Sophia were there and we were super happy to have a few more friendly faces to enjoy in our happy days together.

Dey, Dad, Dominic and I took the ferry over to downtown Halifax and walked around a bit and again it makes me miss being there so much more. I miss my family and I miss my home.

Going through old things I came across all of my old girls camp awards, and this one by far is better and more funny than the rest. We gave each other nicknames and for some reason I got stuck with pubert and it made me think of puberty and so that's the award I got.

Josh gave Dominic new pjs and he got them because they say "I dig staying up" which is fitting for Dominic because hes up a lot throughout the night. I think they are just too cute, and they make him look so grown up.

Dey went to the Primerica office in Halifax and said he wouldn't take long, so here were sitting in the cold car trying to pass time and took a few pictures. I just love my little boy and I love being at home with him. Hes just the cutest.

Nova Scotia pt. 1

So as man people know, I have been home in NS since December 4th. The day I left started off with the last of our swimming classes. Dey came to this one because I wanted him to see the classes we had been taking for the past 11 weeks. Dominic didn't look at the camera but I really liked the picture of me... I feel skinny in it haha
after swimming Dey had some running around to do in the south so we went with him, and then when we got home I finished packing and what not to get read for our upcoming flight that night. I am a nervous pre-flyer but once I get my baggage checked I am a lot calmer. This time however, I was more nervous than usual because I was flying with Dominic and all of his extra stuff (car seat and stroller and diaper bag along with my carry on). I was also nervous about the weight of my bag because I was limited to 1 bag for 2 people for a 5 week trip and that is a hard thing to do especially when it is over the holidays and you have some gifts that you are bringing with you. Why not just buy everything in NS you ask? Well when you pay 5% tax where you live and are visiting a place where they pay 15% you kind of want to save whenever you can.

swimming day fun

I decided that it would be a good idea to take an airport selfie with Dominic because I felt like it was the right thing to do. The flight went really well. Dominic was awake for the first hour and half but then finally fell asleep, but woke up twice while in flight so I just nursed him back to sleep. I was lucky to get an aisle seat so if needed I could get up with him if he wake up and wanted to move around. Luckily he didn't really wake up until the end of the flight where he cried during landing. I didn't feel too bad about his crying at this point because it was at the end of the flight and not the start so we would be getting off the plane pretty soon. 

When we landed we were the last ones off the plane because I had him in my carrier and had the diaper bag plus a carry on and it is really hard to maneuver down the little aisle on the plane. I figured that by the time we got off the plane and down to baggage my parents, or at least my mom, would be waiting for us. But when I turned on my phone there was a message from my mom saying they were late because my moms flight didn't get in until 2 am because of some issues in Chicago and I got in at 630 am and they were a little tired. So I had to wait about 15 mins or so until they got there but then we went on our way to my house. I was so happy and excited to be there. I was pretty tired because I only dozed a bit on the plane because it is not easy sleeping with a 20lbs dead weight in your arms. When we got home Dominic and I took a nap for a bit then did some running around with my mom and dropped in to see my nanny. It was a pretty good day and Dominic did really well considering he didn't get that much sleep and I just kept him up until it was around his bed time in Calgary and then he did his regular sleeping routine and adjusted right away to the time difference.

When my grampie passed away I asked if there was anything of his that my nanny kept, like his hats that he always used to wear and she said that she got rid of everything, but then remembered that she held onto 1 hat because something told her not to get rid of it and I am so glad that she did because I now have it. It was really hard for me not being here when he passed away or for the funeral but I am really happy that I got to get the hat, and so I put it on Dominic.

So, the last time I was at my grandparents house I was visiting with them in their living room and out of the corner of my eye I saw this creepy troll doll. Then when I was at my nanny's new place it was still there. Honestly, it is the creepiest thing I have seen in a  really long time, and I am not sure why my nanny keeps it. 

I went driving around one day and I was driving down this one road and remembered that Cortney used to live off a side street there so I quickly turned down the road and found her old house which I visited frequently when they lived here for those 4 months.

My bishops daughter is serving her mission here and just so happened to be in my parents ward for the past little while, but recently got transferred to PEI but not before we got to take a picture together.

I was so excited for these two little kidlets to meet. Honestly I have always loved Lyla more than I could ever explain to anyone, but not that I have a son I have been so excited for him to meet his oldest cousin. It was a cute moment that quickly turned into "don't touch me" because someone is getting jealous of all the attention that isn't being paid to her anymore. But, she is obsessed with Dey and always wants to play and jump and hang around with him, and even Josh said that it was weird behavior for her. I think it is cute.

Honestly I just love her so much. I wish that we lived closer so we could hang out more and she could have more cousins to play with, plus I just want her to be my bff.

I forgot how much I loved my parents wood stove and really took it for granted growing up. But now that I am here I am so in love with it and loving the heat it provides.

My dads nickname is scary Barry and kids don't normally like going near him, so we thought it would be interesting to see what Dominic would do with him, but they have become such good buddies its heart warming. Dominic will follow my dad every where and wait for him outside of the bathroom. My dad has even said that he doesn't know what he is going to do when we leave and that he wont be able to handle the airport so he better be working when we do go. I am going to be crying when I leave because I am sad to be leaving them and to see Dominic not be near his grandparents. He loves my mom too I Swear but when dads home that's who he spends a lot of time with. 

Christmas Tree Shopping

So as I said my dad and Dominic are best buddies and he loves having him around. My dad even puts him in his car seat and enjoys riding in the back with him.

We encountered a duck crossing randomly the other day and I thought it was the cutest thing I have seen in a really long time. I had to snap a quick picture because it was too cute, and took about 10 minutes for them to waddle on over. They actually stop and looked both ways before crossing, smart ducks!

The ward here was having their Christmas party and we went and my mom was dressed up and so we put the Santa hat on Dominic and quickly snapped a shot before he took it off. The party was interesting and it was fun seeing a few people, and my uncle played Santa and that is not something anyone would have expected him to do. I forgot how much I love my parents ward. It will always be my family ward and will always have a big part of my heart.

I told my mom when she was taking her laundry downstairs to put Dominic in her basket. I have never put him in ours and I thought it would be cute to see what he would do and he loved it so much that once he was out he wanted to get back in immediately. 

The other day I had to opportunity to take my nanny out to run some errands. She has been sick and has to wear an eye patch so she cannot drive herself around. While at the superstore I captured this moment of her playing around with Dominic in the cart as she shopped around. I know she has been a little lonely since my grandfather has passed away so I know she has loved spending time with us whenever she can.

I have been waiting to take Dominic to see a Santa until we got here and Dey arrived. I wanted us to experience this together, so when he got into town the first place we went was to the mall and got our pictures. The best surprise was that they started to do the pictures for free. I was willing to pay for a picture but was so happy that I didn't have to. Dominic was happy with Santa and would look and smile at him and touch his beard but the moment he looked at the camera he looked upset and sad. He is a weird little kid.

That night when we got home my dad and Dey met face to face for the first time and I have to say that things have gone much better than I thought they might. They have been getting along and joking around and just having a good time. I have noticed that they have a similar sense of humor where they think they are funnier than they really are, and it is great that they are meshing well together.

I have been so excited to get home because it meant that I could get my hair done by my favorite and long time hair dresser, and even though she barely works now and sold her salon because she is an MLA she still works occasionally and I was told by her to call and put my name on a list to see her and I would eventually get in to see her. So I did just that and I cannot tell you how much happier and better I feel about myself after getting my hair done. I feel awesome!

I took Dey around some touristy places and I took him down Cow Bay and showed him the coast and there were people surfing. I have never loved NS but all of a sudden I have been seeing it in a different light. I love this place and noticed how beautiful it was until now. Dey even said he could see us living here at some point. I got to see my friend Megan as well since I have been home and that is the first time we have seen each other in 2.5 years and it was amazing to see her and have her meet Dominic, and I cannot wait until she can meet Dey as well. She is the only person left from school that I keep in contact with and we are still great friends even after all this time and I just love and adore her and appreciate our friendship more than she probably even knows.

On Saturday I went through the temple for myself and it was great! I can understand how and why people get weird-ed out and scared but I left there thinking "oh, that's it? that's not bad at all" I guess for me I was ready and prepared and just focused on what was being said and it was a great moment. Laura's mom was there for part of it and even cried a little which made me tear up a bit and it just made that day so much more meaningful and special. I am so happy I got to go through here with my family and a couple friends and the adjustment to things have honestly been easy and not uncomfortable at all. I feel great and happy and I am loving life. 

The other week before we left to come home we were at a friends house and Dominic climbed his first stair. He has never climbed any since, until being here because my mother has showed him how to do this. It has been a fun experience here and he is growing a lot and having a blast. 

I actually don't nurse at all anymore and he is strictly on cows milk which has been a bitter sweet moment for me. I was tired of nursing him and I running out of time to ween him before I got to work when I get back so we did it here, and it has been so easy, which is great, but at the same time a little emotional because we no longer have that time to just sit and stare at each other and connect and cuddle like that. I have cried a little about it here and there, but at the same time I am so thankful the transition has been easy and that I even had the chance to nurse him to begin with.

My trip home has been going by so quickly and it has been amazing thus far and I know that there are more fun days to come and possibly a christmas miracle.

I am blogging from my parents computer and their keyboard is crap and my hand is cramping so there are plenty of spelling mistakes, and I have to break my trip down into a few posts. I know that there will probably be some missing facts but I am thankful I have the chance to blog at all. 

10 Month Old

How on earth did we get to double digit months??? Honestly, when they say time flies they mean it. It's not just a figure of speech anymore because the last I checked I was still in the hospital eager to get home with my sweet little baby.... Apparently I blinked and time has escaped me.
Dominic finally has teeth, 2 to be exact, and he is a biting machine. He stopped biting me when he nurses so that's a plus. But he does like to come up to me and bite my arm.
He is into everything! he is all over the place and tearing the place apart. I don't bother cleaning sometimes for days because hes just going to make a mess again and it is pointless.
He isn't sleeping much better, but I have stopped nursing and rocking him to sleep now. I am able to lay at the end of my bed and put my hand in the crib and he holds/lays on it until he falls asleep. He was sleeping the first 3.5-4 hours straight before waking, but the past few days that has changed and he has been waking up 3+ times before midnight even hits... and then he wakes what seems like 10 million more times after midnight.. I still love him though!
He waves, gives kisses, gives high fives, smacks his lips if we do it first, turns the lights on/off, he crawls pretty fast, he knows who pooh bear is, he walks along furniture, he pulls himself up on walls, he talks with his little walking toy, he loves the fridge and every time I open it he comes a running so he can shut the door on me or try to get inside, and he has even taken 1 single step by himself before face planting into my arms.
He has such an attitude, which I am sure he gets mostly from me. He likes to defy me while looking back at me with a semi smile while doing it.
He's slowly starting to know the sign for milk, although it looks more like a wave, but when I do it and say milk he does it back.
When I ask him if he wants to do something, and if he does, he will make a certain sound that has an excited tone to it that means he wants to do it.
This little boy is growing so fast I wouldn't believe it were possible if I haven't witnessed it first hand.
I know that once we get to NS he will just grow so much more. I want time to slow down, but I know that wont happen, so I guess I really want time to speed up so that way I can be done working already.
Heres to hoping Dominic doesn't grow up too quickly!!!

Temple

These past few weeks I have been taking the temple prep courses and because I am in primary I have been doing them before church. This has made for some very long sundays. Also because I am leaving in 9 days we had to speed things up a bit and boy am I glad we did! I was able to have classes combined and got them all done in 4 weeks. I also was able to get my recommend from the bishop and stake president, which is not an easy thing to do because our stake president isn't around a lot.
So friday in preparation for going home and going through the temple for the first time, we went to the distribution centre. I was told I should bring someone with me but there really wasn't anyone around so it was just Dey and myself. People say it is overwhelming going and getting everything, but I was lucky to have the best Customer Service patron ever, Brenda.
We walked in the store, I was a little nervous but more excited than anything, we were immediately greeted by 2 ladies and they said "are you ok to just help yourselves?" and I said "Not really, I am going through for my first time." Brenda immediately walked over to us with the biggest warmest smile on her face and said "Lets start with the dresses. I think it's best to start here and work our way over." I just followed her lead and away we went.
She showed me the dresses and said "We have a lot of styles and normally people will just glance at them and one will stand out to them" then she looked me up and down and said "we do have the Barbie doll dress that is made for our bigger boobed sisters..." Yes, I have big boobs, but hopefully when I stopped nursing (which I will be starting to wean pretty soon here) my boobs will go back down. Plus the dress looked like too much for me and looked really heavy.
There was one that I saw on the mannequin that I was drawn to and so I tried that one on along with the skirt. The dresses I think are made kind of small, but I couldn't avoid getting the size I did. The skirts were just not cutting it, but the dress when I tried it on was a perfect fit for me and I felt kind of pretty in it. I know they say when you go to the temple its not about what you look like and not to think of trying to look pretty, but in this dress I felt wonderful.
Then we went to the tights and shows and everything else for the ceremony and the lady was too funny. I would pick things out and she would be like "oh good that's my favorite" or when she would get me to pick between fabrics or styles she would say "pick me pick me" haha So I did.
Then we went over the garment part and because I took a pole of my friends and what their favorite style was I went ahead with that and she assumed I would as well.
She told me I should maybe get a cotton pair for sleeping in because, and I quote, "Now that you're active, like you know active, you may want these to let things breathe." I honestly had to keep myself from laughing so hard.
This lady was such a sweet spirit and made me going there and getting everything seem like a breeze. I was pretty thrilled with it all, minus the amount of money it cost, but still that's ok. It will all be worth it in the end.
I cannot wait to get home and have this happen, even if it's just me going through and not us being sealed just yet... still waiting for the clearance to come in. Either way it will be great!

Why Bother?

Since having my son it has taken me a while to start working out. At first it was because I had a c section, so I had to wait at least 6 weeks before I could even lift anything heavier than my baby, and after the 6 weeks "ok" from the doctor I was still nervous about doing anything because the middle of my incision wasn't healing as quick as the rest.
Dominic was born in January and in may I started off small and did the 30 day squat challenge. Then when June hit I decided to do the 3 day Ab challenge. I did the first, lets say week, and then my incision bubbled up and popped open and left a hole. It wasn't a big enough hole that I was worried and should see a doctor, but it was enough that I was nervous to do anything else.
I started walking 5k a few times a week but when Deys mom came I got out of the habit and have been having trouble finding the motivation to do anything really since then.
Now the past couple of weeks I have been doing minor things at night when Dominic goes to sleep and yesterday I woke up and my scar was bothering me. Now this happens every once and while anyway, but when I looked at it, it bubbled up again and then it popped open. It is not a pretty site and it makes me wonder why I even bother trying to do anything that could help me lose weight because my scar seems to hate me and makes it hard to do anything. I have given up pop now for about 2 months, and I am trying to cut back on sweets as well.
I guess I am just frustrated thinking about when I have to go back to work and my pants don't fit because I am heavier than I was before... I want to work out but I am so scared about my scar it keeps me from doing so.
So, why bother? Plus, if I want anymore kids I'm just gonna get heavy again anyway, so why do something if its just gonna go back to the way I am.
It makes me think I shouldn't even try until after I am done having kids...

2 Months...

As I have been sitting here counting down the days until I go home ( 18) I noticed that it will soon be December and that means it will soon be January.
January will be the hardest month of my mothering life I think. I know that I have talked about this before but I am having a real hard time thinking about going back to work in January. I know sometimes it seems like I talk about the same things over and over again, but when they really bother me I have to voice it in some way and this the best way I feel like I can get all my feelings out.
Tonight, as I was holding Dominic's hand as he cried in his crib and I said yet another prayer for him to find the peace and calmness he needs to go to sleep at night without me holding him I started to cry the 50 millionth tear I have shed over this boy since he was born.
I actually prayed that Dominic would find a way to sleep without needing me and that maybe I will be able to find a way to go to work in January without needing to be near him the way I do.
I love this boy so stinking much its insane and people have told me before that they didn't experience what I feel for their own kids, and it makes me feel like I love too much and too hard.
Someone made a suggestion to me and asked if work would set up a payment plan for me to pay them back what they gave me for those 5 months so I don't have to go back to work, and I know they wouldn't. Plus, I need to go back to work because we have a plan in place, and we thought we might as well set aside the difference of pay from EI and work each time and use that towards something else, like me not working afterwards, or moving to a different place.
I already know that my first day back to work will be the most emotional because I haven't spent more than maybe 5 hours away from him at a time, and well he is very much obsessed with nursing and I will be working on weaning him off and I'm pretty sure I will worry all day long about how Dey is doing by himself. He has never spent more than probably an hour and a half with him alone without me there just in case.
I have so many worries about what will happen, and about how Dominic will cope without me.


Will he forget about the year we spent together?
Will he be sad when I leave because he doesn't get upset now when I do?
Will he not want to be near me as much?
Will I not get cuddles anymore in our rocking chair?
Will I slip into a depression because this anxiety is killing me?
Will I even be able to make it the 6 months of working?


Honestly this is something I am not ready for, and the quicker it approaches the more and more I dread it. I am excited to go home but I know that only 6 days after I get back here I will have to go back to work and that is a scary thought.


On a happy note, I have started my Christmas shopping and hopefully everything I have ordered will be here before I leave to go home. I also need to make a trip to IKEA soon because we are getting Dominic a tent from there to have here for when he gets home. he loves hiding under blankets so I am sure a tent will be a hoot and a half!
Well, happy Saturday night to you all and a wonderful Sunday tomorrow!

TEETH!

After about 6 months of many upsetting and cranky days, drooling faces, and teeth that have been there one day and gone pretty much the same day, it has FINALLY happened. 

About 2 weeks ago I felt a tooth, and wasn't too quick to get excited that it would stay because it's done this before. Well this time it stayed and not only that a second one has popped up right next to it! I would post a picture but he won't let me get a picture or even really look at his teeth.

From what he has flashed me of his little chompers, which he's bite me with more than once while feeding, it looks like one of them is a little less than straight and I think that this is why they have bothered him so much. I think maybe the one kept hitting the other. 

Now that these little suckers have graced us with their presence sleeping has improved, not by much but just a little. I've stopped rocking him to sleep this week because he didn't want to sit still anymore in my arms so now I hold his hand through the crib and eventually, with lots of prayers, he finally goes to sleep. He only wakes up about 3 maybe 4 times a night and that's a lot better than the 7+ times a night he was up before. 

I might go get an ice cream cake tomorrow because I think it's well deserved after all the hard days I was subjected to. 

I love my son but it's not the easiest being his mom some days! 

But YAY for teeth!!!