A quick post

So I'm actually posting from my iPod while lying on my bed that is actually a fouton. Why is my bed a fouton? Well that's because I moved to Calgary a little over a month ago and I can't afford a real bed but I do love my fouton. I will hopefully post pictures at some point of what my dear little room looks like. It's starting to look like a real room right now and I love it. Speaking of love I love Calgary! I forgot how much I did but I totally do. Now I'm not as sociable as Laura is but I'm ok with that. I have run into many people that i've known from over the years. I have run into a total of 2 ex's and one was ok nut the second was a little more awkward for me. I also like a boy.... SHOCKER! But that is a long long story that I'm not going to get into right now. I'm tired and well typing on my iPod isn't all it's cracked up yo be. I just thought that since it's been a long time I would give a quick update. I do miss the blogger world and I will hopefully be back soon and more consistantly!
Audios amigos!

updates, updates, UPDATES!

a quick update is needed i think, seeing that i havent blogged in a while, and well it is april. well.. as im sure you all have heard via laura, we went and saw Never Say Never for a 4th time.

sorry its kinda dark... i forgot to make them brighter before uploading them on here, and well im not doing it again because my computer is being stupid and freezing every few seconds. we also brought children this time so that we didnt look so lame.. epic fail! haha the girls wouldnt dance or sing with me. but the guys down the row sure did... whether they were making fun of me or not i appreciated their enthusiam! (the movie comes out may 14th!) so last weekend i spent 5 hours at my brothers house where lyla wanted to push the button on the camera and seeing that her arms arent that long, the picture is rather close! but i dont care because i love love LOVE my monkey! the reason behind my visit was so that my brother could get his wetsuit back and so that if needed, i was there to provide assistance. thankfully he did it all on his own! lyla wanted a picture of her and daddy wearing his wetsuit. i just love that little girl. she is my favorite person in the ENTIRE world! no offence to anyone else who i just adore, but this little monket won my heart the moment i saw her almost 3 years ago! needless to say, those 5 hours at my brothers house was the highlight of my parents being away. i never thought my brother and i could actually sit and have a conversation that didnt feel awkward or didnt feel as if i was just trying to fill the silence that always seems to follow us whenever we are alone. that saturday, my love for my brother grew leaps and bounds, and for that i am thankful!

onto more recent things... MY TAX RETURN CAME TODAY!! its not as much as last year, but hey, 1,258$ is enough to keep me a happy girl. the other thing that came today... a postcard all the way from wyoming, where cortney has been visiting. she has been traveling the states when she can and has been sending me postcards from all the places she has been and i just LOVE it. the other thing that i got today that has brought probably the BIGGEST smile to my face... EFY HAS REQUESTED MY PAPERWORK!!! that means, i fill them out, then they send me my contracts to accept!! i have been waiting for this for what seems like FOREVER! ive made some stupid, yet much needed, decisions this past year and i thought that because of those i wouldnt get accepted. but ive been praying real hard that i get it, and well, i have come to know that even though praying for something that seems so pointless to others, but is important to me, the lord will answer it to fit our needs... and well EFY means the world to me and i am so SO grateful for it! anyway, i need to get going because while my parents have been away i havent had a fire going, therefore my feet are about to fall off!!!

when the ink hits the page!

some times, when im full of thoughts and feelings, i take pen to paper and end up writing. some times i write peoms and other times i write lyrics. not everyone knows that about me. i actually have quite a bit of things that ive written. thats why my minor in school was gonna be creative writing. i just love it. but for the past while i havent been writing very much at all. i used to write all the time when i lived on my own, and i think its because i just had so much more going on with my life and i was just so full of emotions.
tonight, however, i was over flowing with this immense feeling of lonliness and i once again put pen to paper and i fell in love.
i wrote a song... theres no music to it, and i also dont think its any good. and its ok. this is my way of getting my feelings out.
i dont express myself very easily... just ask mark! haha
well i thought i would share it with you. i called it...

"suddenly"

[verse 1]
we said goodbye before our time was up
we said goodbye way too soon
it all eneded in a cloud of dust
but in the end it was me not you

[bridge]
i let you walk away when i should have said stop
i let you walk away, and with you, you took my heart!

[chorus]
suddenly i regret it all and suddenly i want to take it all back
suddenly you're everything i ever wanted
suddenly you are everything i lack!

[verse 2]
we had a fight, to add to the list of many
but this time it was bigger than the rest
although it was pointless, just like the others
it still left a whole in my chest.


[bridge]
i let you walk away when i should have said stop
i let you walk away, and with you, you took my heart!


[chorus]
suddenly i regret it all and suddenly i want to take it all back
suddenly you're everything i ever wanted
suddenly you are everything i lack!

[verse 3]
i want to look you in the eyes and say that im sorry
i want to hold you in my arms and make everything right
but i know i cant take back the words i said to you
i know that forever with us ended that night!

I let you walk away when i should have said stop
i let you walk away, and with you, you took my heart!

well... thats what came out tonight when the ink hit the page.

Happy week for me...

this week has been a pretty good week. now i dont normally admit to having one of those, but i will tell you the reasons why this week has just been oh so AWESOME!!!

1. i got my temple reccommend back!!!
2. havent had to work very much
3. my parents left today until the 11th of arpil!
4. i got paid today... even though i forgot that this was the last pay before the end of the month, which means student loan payments, i am quite happy with the amount that i got... even if i dont get to keep the majority of it.
5. i bribed laura with a movie date to see NEVER SAY NEVER one last time before they take it out of theatres.

6. i am off on friday now!
7. i have the house to myself and the car. (this kinda goes with #3, but its so great that it deserved its very own number)

so this week has been a great week even though its only wednesday!
i am happy!
hope you are all happy too!!!

look away if you dont like gross toes

today was my short shift at work: 8:30 - 1:00. i was pretty happy that i would get to go to bed early because i really havent slept much at all this week.
well im at work, you know doing my thing, and i was asked to check out back in what we call our high density shelving units (HDS) for some shirts.
at the end of each HDS there are grid like panels that can have hooks on them. so on a few of them there are hooks holding up a bunch of callapsable metal rolling racks.
so to make a long story short, i moved the HDS (cause they move so that we can store product on a million different sides) and a rolling rack fell off its hook. i then proceed to put it back up but when i did it came crashing down with the sharper side smashing on my foot. OUCH!!
i look at my shoe and it has a circular indent from the rack because it fell a good 2 feet really fasta nd hard.
here are my thoughts when this moment happened:
1. $^%@&^
2. ohh the pain
3. my shoe has an indent!?
4. maybe i should take it off
5. dont think anythings wrong, but lets take off the sock just to make sure
6. OHHH BLOOD!

7. leave shoe and sock on floor and walk to the bandaids
8. too much pain. must sit down. hold toe tightly. make horse noises
9. walkie laura and ask her to come to the back.

so i wait for laura in pretty severe pain... for those of you who dont know me, my threshold for pain is rather weak haha especially if there is blood.

anyway i bandage it up and clean up the trail of blood i left behind me and get back to work.
so of course when i got home i had to take a picture so that i could document this for all the world to see...

so... thats my big toe. ugly i know.
the rack fell right where my cuttical is and cut through my shoe and sock without actually cutting either my shoe or sock. that just goes to show how hard it actually fell.
well... we think my toenail might fall off because of the fact that it probably disconnected my toenail right at the bottom.
if i lose my toe.. i will not be a happy camper at all.
so, thats the story of my toe.
off to bed i go!
good night!!!

ps- i was at angies tonight her their roommates cat is not used to her dogs because he just got here and well it was sitting in the chair with me and went to swat the dog and missed and got my toe pretty hard.
it is safe to say that any contact that is more than just a gentle graze of a sock, finger, or blanket, REALLY HURTS!!

A night with NO sleep

lets start off by saying that yesterday i had to get up at 5am to be at work for 6am...
after work my friend angie wanted to hang out because her boyfriend and our other friends boyfriend were going out down town. i said that i would hang and eventually agreed to sleep at her house because we both worked at the same time today.
last night, aka this morning, between the hours of 3:30 & 5am i got about 1 hour of sleep IF THAT!

only having that little sleep is not a good thing for me, but i am happy that i did and i am happy that i stayed with angie because our friends boyfriend tried to drive home drunk. it was a really hard thing to deal with and it was scary. he got behind the wheel and actually started to drive home with me chasing him down the street in the cold wearing nothing on my feet but now wet socks screaming his name. begging him to come back. he did eventually come back and was safe. he was safe, but he was stupid.
it makes me grateful for the fact that i dont need alcohol to have a fun night, and that i am smarter than him because i would never do something so stupid as to get behind the wheel of a car if i ever did.
i am grateful for my friends and the support they give me, because as some of you know, i do stupid things some times and dont always make the right choices. ive, on occasion, have had many errors in judgment, but my true friends have stuck by me no matter what i decided to do in the end, and i love them for it.
i am happy that my life has more meaning to it than a bunch of random drunken nights thrown together over the course of lets say 8 years.
yes, ok, i may not lead a very exciting life, and i may only just hang with my friends at their houses talking or just watching tv with the occasional shopping trip, or expedition to the movies, but i know that my life will be a better one because of the choices i make to not drink.
my life is mine and i have control over the choices i make, as do all of you,
and i choose to live happily in all my soberness. even if it means spending nights at home alone. at least i know im being smart and safe.

a blog FULL of complaints...

to start off i must state that i called my mom on friday and asked if she and my dad were going anywhere and if they were could they please drop off the car to me because it was cold and i didnt want to bus the hour and a half home... my mom said no!
this is a re-cap of how crappy my day was yesterday. yes i know that people dont like it when others complain, but thats too bad because i had a REALLY bad day yesterday and well, i wanted to write about it.
yesterday i had only 4 hours of sleep because i was having chest pain and i just couldnt seem to shake them and it kept me up for a while. i had to work at 11 which meant catching the bus at 9:30. i get upstairs to get something to drink before i left and my mom is sitting on the couch reading, and my dad is still in bed sleeping. i then realize that they dont have to work. i waited for my mom to say something like "hey take the car" but all she said was "i hope you have an umbrella!"
so from that im sure you can tell it was raining out. and well the rain doesnt bother me that much, as long as its not pouring out. when i stepped outside i noticed that it was doing a little more than just drizzling, but it wasnt too bad. i took the 10 steps from my door to the road and it started to rain cats and dogs and every other animal on noahs ark. to say the least, i was not impressed. here my mom was sitting in the living room and in my house you can hear and see the rain from where she was sitting and she didnt even move an inch (well if she did then it wasnt to come out and tell me she would drive me)
by the time i made it 5 houses down the street i was soaked. when i walked i could feel the water filling up in my shoes. my jeans were being dragged down because they were so wet.
well i get to the end of the street where i can see my bus stop (which is a ten minute walk away) and the bus drives by! so i then had to walk another 10 minutes to the other stop and wait in the rain for 7 minutes because there was no shelter, which i think is wrong. there should be a shelter at every stop because of days like these.
i get to work and i walk in and am PISSED BEYOND BELIEF!
i was cold and wet and mad and had been crying because i was so mad. i had to buy a new outfit. i got the cheapest thing i could get and that was a dress, a cardigan and flip flops. so i froze all day. the only good thing was, was that it only cost me 30$ but it was 30$ i didnt want to spend at all.
then while working this is what happened to me:
-> i said hello to a lady and she laughed in my face for no reason.
-> 2 ladys set a bunch of things down that they didnt want right in front of me so i turned, looked at them and went "excuse me!" as i picked up the things they so kindly dropped off.
-> i had to go to subway to buy a few gift cards for this thing we were doing and the girl let a million other people go before me when i was there first and played "guess which sub they got" so it took 10 times longer.
-> i waited in another line somewhere else for 15 minutes just for them to tell me they dont do giftcards.
-> i bit my lip rather hard
-> i burnt my hand washing them
im sure there were other things, but thats all i can remember. i was really mad yesterday and i didnt want to have to bus home. so my dear friend angie came and picked me up so that we could hang out afterwards. we thought about going to a movie, but we were too early for any of the shows so we went to walmart, where i almost bought a new tv because when im mad i like to spend money, but lucky for me no money was spent there.
we ended up going back to angies and just hanging out for a bit. it was the best part of my day.
now its sunday and i had to fight to have the car today so that i could go to church for sacrament and then go to work from 3-12... but i may not get out at 12, and i have to work at 9:30-6:30 tomorrow.... i cant wait for tomorrow to be over because i have tuesday off, and because tomorrow is the finale of the bachelor and laura and i have plans to watch it together... where i will eat tons and junk and get fat for the both of us... it brings on a whole new meaning to the saying "eating for two" haha
well heres to hoping today goes better than the last 2!