The Little Things...

Today I want to write about all the little things that have just made everything better in life. Of course being the teeny bopper I am it made me think of the One Direction song "Little Things" ... I am in love with this song actually. I think its cute and well, Im a fan of them! haha
http://youtu.be/xGPeNN9S0Fg

So Ive never been the type of person who is all about big gestures or overly flashy things. I love the simple things in life. Yes dont get me wrong some times I do like the "bigger" things in life, but for the most part I am more than satisfied with the simpler things. For example, Ive never been the one who likes to have money spent on me even on dates! Ive been on 2 dates that were just so simple but sweet and genuinely fun. One time I was visiting Edmonton and I was going on a date and the guy had 2 thermus's of hot chocolate (it was winter) and we drove to this look out of the city and there was a radio that played old school radio movies and we just sat there and talked and listened to the movie. It was unique and fun and it didnt really cost anything. Then there was this time when I was dating this guy and he wanted to take me out but it was difficult to do anything major because he didnt have a car. Well he showed up with flowers (carnations... Im not a big flower person to begin with but Im really not a carnation girl) and my favorite ice cream and we just walked to the park and sat down and ate the ice cream and talked. Again this really didnt cost much and it was nice to just sit and talk and get to know each other.

Now lately the simple things that have made me smile have been the words of a boy via text. Lately I have been getting the nicest texts from him and thats all it takes. I dont need big elaborate things because his words have been more than enough. A simple "goodmorning/goodnight beautiful" has made my day on many occassions and immediately I have the worlds biggest smile on my face. Things like this have made me more than excited to actually continue something with him. I cant wait to see where this all leads because right now I can only see good things coming out of it. I am so excited about going home this weekend, but part of me is just so excited to see him when I get back. I dont think Ive ever been excited for a vacation to end, especially before its even really begun.

There is one more little thing that I appreciate more than words can ever express... that little thing is actually a person, and of course its Lyla! Ive been thinking about her a lot lately because I get to go home this weekend. I also have been thinking a lot about her in the last 24 hours because Mr Mans sister had a baby yesterday and it made me remember when Lyla was born and how happy I was to finally have a niece.

I cannot believe that she is 4.5 years old now! She has grown up so much over the last few years and it saddens me that Im not there to see it happen. She is the best kid ever with the funniest personality. She is a very unique child and I am so happy to have her in my life even if its from a country away.

The next week and half I will be home in NS and yes that did cost some money to go but the best thing is that I will be able to hang out with friends and family and to me thats what is going to be the most exciting. I wont need to spend a lot of money because being with them will be enough.

Happy Thursday to you all!!! : )

Just a Quickie

This is my second post today, but this is seriously a quick one...

Atlanta in June... SAY WHAT!?

Monday Night = Girls Night

Yesterday was in fact Monday, and after it being what seemed like the LONGEST Monday ever I was more than happy to just get home and go for a tan... Oh yeah, in case you didnt know I love tanning and have been going this past month! Anyway.... So I get home and I chat with Laura for a few minutes and then I went for a nice tan to help me unwind from the day. Yesterday was just a very long day because Donna was sick at work and so I was stuck at the front all day and couldnt get any training done in the Licensing Department. The best part of my day at work was that the boy asked me if I wanted him to pick me up from the airport the day I fly back into Calgary. This is something that I have been hoping for but I didnt want to ask him to do it, I wanted him to want to do it and offer. Then he did and I was seriously on cloud 9 while I was at work.
Ok, so onto my evenining. After I went tanning Michelle was supposed to come over because she wanted me to cut her hair... I cut it for her this summer and she loved it so she wanted me to do it again. For clarification, I am not a hair stylist in any way shape or form. So Michelle being the sweet sweet girl that she is didnt realize that when you go tanning it only takes about 15 minutes in the bed plus travel time. So we are looking at about 30 minutes all together. Well she was supposed to show up to my house a little before 7 because we were going out to eat at 730. She showed up at 715 thinking I would be able to cut her hair for her still. 15 minutes is not enough time. She then informed me that she didnt think that I would be home before 7 because tanning takes forever when you're outside in the sun so she figured it would take just as long inside in a bed. I then explained to her the concept of a tanning bed. My dear sweet Michelle how I love her!
Onto dinner... We went o BP's across the street with Priscila and Catherine. Seriously It was just so nice to go out with the girls and have a good time and just catch up. Priscila however didnt really know what to make of my socialness because the last she had checked I was the girl who stayed at home and didnt do anything. Ive seriously been that girl for a really long time now and dont get me wrong I LOVE being lazy a lot of the time, but Ive also fallen back in love with being social and having friends and doing things... Now all I need is a car and then I can be more social! So who wants to help me out with figuring how to get that started!??? I know nothing about cars and how to go about getting one and the stuff I need so that I can finance one. Any takers???

Ok... So this is seriously not going to be a long post because even though last night was a great night I dont really want to go into details of all of our conversation, but lets just say there were a lot of questions being thrown around because we hadnt hung out in a long time and we wanted to get caught up on everything!

Last night was the premiere of the Bachelor and let me tell you... This season looks like its going to be full of drama which is GREAT! The first episode was hilarious and I felt so awkward with so many of the girls who decided to "make a first impression." Im sorry but if you need to do all these weird antics to get attention then whats the point of being yourself!? Like yes I understand you want to impress someone but seriously come on!! You dont need to do half the things you do. Just be yourself and if your personality shines through and you have that initial "connection" then you will make it! Please stop embarrassing yourself... or dont because I actually think it makes for great TV hahaha

For a closing to this blog I just want to insert one bit of sheer happiness... Today is January 8th 2013, and on this date last month (Dec.8th.12) my life changed and I am loving how happy Ive been since then. I never thought that I would be able to be this happy this fast, but right now I am. For that I am thankful!
Happy Tuesday to you all!!

Ps. 3 MORE SLEEPS!

The Things I Cant Explain

Friday night I had plans to go to this Open Mic Night for the YSA Welcome Week with my friend Jenn. However, Jenn bailed on me and I ended up staying home and waiting for Cortney to get there because she was staying the night. I got a text from Mr Man and he said that he wanted to hang out and wanted to have " a talk" later on. I was ok with this, yet I was a little nervous because I wasnt sure what this little chat was going to turn into. Im the type of person who always thinks the worst because then I dont get my hopes up, and if things are better than I anticipated then Im pleasently surprised. So obviously Im sitting at home thinking that everything is about to come to an end and that things arent going to go any further than what they have and that he is going to pull out the "lets be friends car."
Again, me being me, I made sure that my hair was done and make up was nice and that I wasnt over dressed but I also wasnt really casual looking either because I wanted to make an impression. I called it my "Pick Me" look or my "You're Gonna Miss Out" look.
Cortney was at the house and this kid cant seem to come over any time before 10pm so I knew that he wouldnt be at the house until later... 11:30pm is when he showed up... and Cortney being the nice friend she is slept on the fouton so that Mr Man and I could sit and chat in my room.
Well he came over and I was seriously so nervous. We talked to Cort for a few seconds and as she walked away he asked for a kiss... So this to me was a good sign. This meant that things were going in a good direction.
Heres where things got... well, things didnt change much. He sat down and he took my hand in his and he looked at me and said "I really hope I dont make you cry." Now these are not the words of a good conversation so immediately I start to panic a little because I do like this guy and I do want to be with him, and Im not ready to say goodbye just yet. He started to say somethings about how he doesnt want to rush things and that he doesnt want to hurt me and he doesnt want to get hurt himself, and I interject with a few words here and there and he then tells me Im not allowed to say anything at all. This is not easy for me because when someone is talking to me I always say a few words here or there to let them know that Im listening to what they are saying. Well he didnt like that too much so I literally held my lips shut with my free hand.  He then went on to tell me that when I get back from being home he wants to date but to take it slow, and then in March he going home to visit and once he gets back he wants to get more serious. However, there is something he needs to do while hes there. Now this is something Im not going to go into detail about because people wont understand why Im willing to continue this with him. This is something I cannot explain. Ive thought a lot about this over the past few days and I know that right now, this is where Im supposed to be and I need to pursue things with him.
He said things to me that night that I never expected him to say, but I know that he would be good to me. Already he has been such a positive influence in my life and Ive only known him for about a month.
I cant explain the way he makes me feel, and I cant explain the reasoning behind the sacrifices Im willing to make to be with him, but I can tell you this; No matter the outcome of this whole situation I know that God led me to him at the moment when I needed him most.
Sometimes the things that you cant explain are the things that you need to have happen in your life, and as much as people dont understand the situation or dont understand why Im ok with somethings, as long as I understand them then thats all that really matters.
Im happy, and thats all that matters right!?

Laura Wants to Barf!

Im sure by the title of this entry there is no way you can really guess what I am about to blog about.
Let me tell you...
The other night Laura came downstairs into my room... which was clean and she was shocked by that because lets face it, me and a clean room dont really happen that often, except for this past month for some reason it has stayed reletively neat and tidy! GO ME!
Anyways... Back to the subject at hand; Lauras barffing! So here she is sitting on my bed and Im sitting on my floor by my dresser because lately thats where Ive been sitting and just listening to music a lot lately. So we are talking and I am there with a huge smile on my face talking about things that have gone on in the past little while, and I am genuinely happy. Then she said it, "Your happiness makes me want to barf because I dont know how to handle it... dont worry its a good thing!" Well gee thanks Laura! hahahaha
Its true though, I have been really happy and positive lately and I quite like the changes Ive seen in myself. All of this has made me think about my life a bit in the last few years, and I have been happy before, but this time its different. I spent 2.5 years telling myself that this one person made me happy, and yes to some extent he did. He was my best friend and I was able to talk to him about everything and yes I was wildly attracted to him and I thought that if he were willing to commit to me that he was the one I wanted to be with. However, he never did want anything serious with me, but I kept telling myself that one day he would because I thought that he made me happy. Only now looking back on that situation, I wasnt really happy and he wasnt the best for me. Little by little I was changing and not in a good way. I was loosing bits of who I was and what I really wanted out of life because I thought that I wanted him. Now I do think that if we were both at good places in our lives at the same time and we were both willing to commit and try and make things work between us then it would have been great, but there was never a time that we were both at the same place in our lives at the same time. Neither of us have ever been our best self around the other. This is something everyone needs to avoid.
I lost a lot of myself over those 2.5 years. It was hard to get over the situation but where I am at now in my life and the experience that I am currently going through I can now see that I was never truly happy when I was with that other person. Dont get me wrong, I will always want whats best for him and I am glad that we can now be friends and not have to worry about any romantic feelings, but I know that I need to be with someone who makes me want to be a better person.
Its funny how many little changes there have been in my life over these past few weeks and all because of one person.
So Laura, I am happy and I hope you barf because of it!! : )
2013 apparently is going to be good for me according to a text I got the other night... I guess we will find out what will be said in our little chat before I leave to go home next friday night!!!
This year I think is going to be a year of happy times and for that I am thankful!

The Adventures of 2013

It's official... 2012 is over!!! As crazy as it is that yet another year has gone by, and how much I hate it that time just doesn't seem to want to stand still, I am more than happy to see this past year be over! I am so excited to see what 2013 has in store for me! Now with that being said, lets get on to the events that led up to the end of the year!!

On Saturday Laura and I went shopping for a few things... aka I wanted a new dress for the New Years Eve dance because I was told that I had to be there, and I thought that if I had to be there then I better look good doing it. Now Im not the type of person to sit there and say how great I look or how "hot" I am, but this night in particular I actually felt pretty. Now that doesnt happen very often so I decided that It was ok for me to say that I felt that way. The night started off with Michelle coming over to get ready and her trying to bail on me because of the fact that she couldnt get her hair to look right and she started to freak out about it. In the end she sucked it up and came to the dance. Laura and I said that she looked great, which she did, but she didnt believe us until some guy told he that she looked really good and that he loved her hair. Its funny how you never tend to believe the ones closest to you until someone else, mostly guys, tell you that you do in fact look great.

Laura told me I had to get a picture before I went out and so this was it! I was very pleased with the dress purchase and I think that everything turned out pretty well.

So, our friend Kara drove us to the dance... shocking how the influence of a guy can make you so motivated that you ask someone you never ask anything for to help you out. So I guess its pretty obvious that I really like this guy, and I really wanted to spend New Years with him. Before the dance he said there was a chance that he wasnt going to go because he was still feeling really sick, but I told him that he better come and that I would see him at midnight. To back track a few weeks when we first met he had made a comment about how I was going to be his New Years Eve kiss and of course being the first night that I had met him I just laughed it off and rolled my eyes. Well I decided that since I have NEVER had a New Years Eve kiss I was going to make sure it happened. So when he texted me and said that he may not be there I told him he better be and that I would see him at midnight!
Now I have never been known as the "foward" type but I for some reason was very confident that night.
While at the dance I ran into so many people that I dont get to see very often and it honestly made the night so much better than I originally anticipated. I was happy that I made the effort to go out. I was happy just hanging out with friends for the end of 2012.

I got to hang out with my friend Jane and I always love it when I see her. It was so much fun just dancing with her because we both act so crazy together at dances.

So I knew that the boy was there and I wanted him to come and talk to me. This was a test I was secretly putting him through, to see how he acted towards me in a public setting with lots of people. I knew that if he kind of blew me off then it wouldnt be worth my time to keep seeing him because who wants to be with someone who only wants to be with you in a private setting? Well, I ran into him and he was actually on his way to dance with some girl because he promised her that he would salsa with her. I was ok with that because I do not salsa! Right after the salsa ended he came and talked to me and then a slow song came on and we danced and just talked. I seriously think my heart stopped beating because I was just happy, nervous and excited to be around him. I have only ever felt that way once before and this time it was better than the last time that happened to me, which is a great thing!
As the song came to an end he told me how he was going to hang out with his friend who was the DJ that night and for me to go and have fun with my friends. This kind of sucked because I really did want to hang out with him, but I knew that it wasnt the end of the world and to just get over it and have fun with my friends like he said. Just as I started to walk away I turned and told him "Im coming for you at midnight!" He just looked at me and was like "Ok..." He was very much skeptical of this and didnt think I would actually do it because of the fact I have stated before to him that I am not the PDA type of girl. For some reason though this guy brings it out of me.
Needless to say as I was dancing with Jane she said how he kept looking at me. To me this was a total win for me! hahaha
Then the score board lit up with 5mins left until midnight and immediately my heart started pounding and I started to freak out about my new found confidence and I wasnt sure if I would be able to actually go through with the midnight plan. The next 5 minutes were seriously the fastest 5 minutes of my life! With only 35 seconds left I mustered up what courage I had left and pushed my way through the crowd and walked up on the stage where he was and just as everyone yelled out "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" I tapped him on his shoulder and as he turned around I just went for it and kissed him! I Vanessa Blakeney did something brave that night and I am not only proud of myself for doing that I am very shocked that I actaully did it and I am happy with the outcome.
After the kiss ended I looked at him and said "This is me, putting myself out there and making a move. So if this doesnt say anything then I dont know what will. The rest is up to you!"
After I said that he just hugged me for what seemed like a lifetime and then he kissed me one last time and I went back to hang with my friends and dance the beginning of 2013 away!
The dance ended and I was getting ready to leave and of course I wanted to say goodbye to this guy, so I walked back up to the stage to say goodbye and he pulled me aside and kissed me again. Seriously, I dont think I have ever been so infatuated with someones kisses before. Its nice kissing someone who you like and who genuinely likes you back. It has never been like that for me and this is a new feeling and I just cant get enough. I like how happy it makes me! This boy is bringing out so many changes and positive things in me and slowly I can feel that light I was missing coming back!
Back to the kissing... So he looked at me and said "whats next!?" I told him that I put myself out there and now its his turn, that if he wants to be with me he needs to be with me. He just kind of looked at me and smiled, and then asked if I was going to this party afterwards. I said I didnt think so. He tried to convince me a bit and I seriously contemplated it but then as I got to my house my pjs won the fight and I decided to stay in.
At about 4am I was half asleep and got a surprise... He was at my house! Here I was half asleep and in my monkey pjs and he was at my house. My heart melted a bit. I love talking to this guy. There is something about him that just draws me in.
At one point I just looked at him and said "You know I kind of like you" he then turned and looked at me and said "You know, I dont kind of like you, I know I like you!" Never has anyone actually flat out told me that before and hearing that silenced so many of my fears and insecurities. Now I still have a few because of past experiences but I think that was the best part of the first day of 2013. Here's to hoping that this is some sort of indication of how this year is going to go. As of right now Im really loving it so far and I am happy!! : )

The Best Moments of 2012

I thought since today was the end of 2012 that maybe I should write a blog about all the highlights of this past year.
There have been many things that have occured over this past year that I consider to be downfalls, but I didnt want to focus on those. Im trying to stay positive and look at the bright side.
So here is 2012 at a glance!

JANUARY: Not a whole lot really happened that I can actually remember, but I did realize that sometimes it's ok to kiss someone because they are there and not actually have any romantic feelings for them... Now this isnt something that I do on a regular basis, but the opportunity presented itself and I took it!

FEBRUARY: This was the month that I got to go home and see my family after 7 months of not seeing them. The best part was that my family had no idea that I was coming home. Seeing the looks on all of their faces as I walked up to them and the realization that it was in fact me standing in front of them was priceless! It was a great feeling being home with family and friends.

MARCH: This month there was a specific date that meant pretty much everything to me, and that was the 12th. On this day I started my new job at RECA (real estate council of alberta) and this was the day that my life seemed to change in more ways than one. This was the day that my happiness slowly started to come back.

APRIL: Again this was another month that not a lot of things happened, but I did get the chance to go to Regina for Easter with Kayla and meet her family. This weekend was so funny. I had heard stories before and had "met" some of her family via facetime, but never did I expect them to be as funny and cool as they were. I had one of the best Easters ever at her house and I just fell in love with her family!

MAY: Ok, on the 20th of this month I turned 25 and that is not a good thing at all for me. For those of you who know me I tend to cry on my birthday, and this year I was exceptionally emotional for many reasons... However, I did say that I was trying to look at the postive side of things, so here it goes. I turned 25 and this seemed to be a turning point in my life. Many good things happend after I turned 25 that made it ok for me to be this age.

JUNE: On the 4th I got my very first real pet. I bought my bunny! Even though he smells sometimes and he hates people I still love him. He is super cute when he wants to be.
Also this was the month that I had the one of the best weeks since moving out here. I was able to have a life and meet new people and just have a good time.

JULY: On the 6th of July I flew home because my brother Jeremy was getting married! It was crazy to think that he would actually be getting married. The only reason why I say that is because he had been engaged before and it never worked out and I was worried that this time would be no different. I am so happy that it did because I love his wife Kim! She is a gem!!
This month also brought my very first Stampede experience and it was great because I LOVE rides!!! I love the rush and the thrill of it all! I had a blast.
Now on the 28th of this month is when I had a little incident with my front door that brought a lot of laughs from those inside my house because they didnt believe me that it was as bad as it was. However, an x-ray, a tetnis shot, 8 stitches and an air cast later it was worse than the other anticipated. This I think was a semi good experience because it taught those around me to maybe take a me a little more seriously when I say Im really hurt and about to pass out from the pain! : )

AUGUST: This month was a busy month. It brought a lot of changes in the lives of those around me and I was lucky enough to be apart of these changes. The biggest thing that happened this month was on the 28th... LAURA GOT MARRIED! My bestie got married and I got to be apart of it. I had the opportunity to travel and see a few places that I probably would never have had the chance to see if it werent for her getting married.

SEPTEMBER: This month was just a hectic month with work and it made me realize that I needed to take the initiative at some point and work to move up in the company. It was crazy at the front desk and I realized that as much as I loved the people in my department I was going to need a change because I wouldnt be able to handle this much longer.

OCTOBER: This month was exceptionally busy for me, and it was actually a great month! I seriously had so much fun! On the 2nd I got to see CARRIE UNDERWOOD! The tickets were crap but it was so great being able to see her live. I love her and have wanted to see her for years but never had the chance to, and when I found out she was coming here I was so happy that I would finally have a chance to see her. About a week later on the 12th I had another dream come true... This dream was bigger than the dream to see Carrie... I was able to see JUSTIN BIEBER! I can already hear the judgment in your tones about this, but in all honesty I dont care. I love the Biebs and having the chance to see him live was something I had wanted for a long time and if I was still in NS then I would never have had the opportunity to see him. It was a great concert and so worth it! The very next day was obviously the 13th but this day was another special day because my other best friend Kayla got married! I was super tired but it was great being apart of her day and seeing her happy!!!

NOVEMBER: This was the month where the countdown began... The countdown to go home that is! There was an amazing seat sale and I jumped at the opportunity to go home in January because I wasn't going to be able to go home for Christmas. Also this was the month that I booked a car and drove to Edmonton to see a lot of my friends that I hadnt seen in years, and this was also the weekend I got away from all my fears and doubts about living in Calgary and regained some reassurance as to why Im living here. The weekend wasnt a perfect weekend but it was exactly what I needed it to be! I came back to Calgary happy and that was all I was really asking for!

DECEMBER: This month is also full of great things like Christmas, getting a new position at work and getting Taylor Swift tickets for June!!! But there is one date in particular that stands out the most. The night of Dec. 8th 2012 is when the saying "...When you least expect it" became something I could actually believe in. Im not ready to go into full detail on that just yet, but Im thinking one day very soon I will be!!

So today marks the last day of 2012 and I am ready to say goodbye. Looking back over the year there have been many things that have happened in my life that I am thankful for, but I am ready for a fresh start and a new year to start them in!
So here's to 2013 bringing more unexpected things into my life!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!