Christmas is Over... Bring on 2013

This year marked the second East Coast Christmas here in Calgary with myself, Laura and Michelle. However, this year there was an addition to our little group.... Laura got married so we kind of have to involve her husband aka Poppa J! haha Even though he isn't from the east coast, he did in fact live there for 2 years and thats where he and Laura met so I guess it was ok that he joined us! It was great having him there. He adds a certain comedic relief in a way to our little group of misfits and it makes everything just that much more funny.

Ok, onto the festivities that occured! I am actually going to start with the Thursday night.

Thursday night the guy that I met a few weeks ago who I like, (yes, I like someone... the fact that Im writing about it will probably curse it and then I will be left in the dust but I wanted to document a few things), came over to hang out. He didn't leave until about 130am and I had to get up at 545am to get ready for work. Thankfully it was friday so it wouldn't be too hard to get ready in the morning. I got to work and felt like I was dying because I was so tired. I hopped up on sugar to help keep my energy up.

So I had to start training for my new postion at work... BTW I got a new position at work! haha My coordinator decided that she would send us home at 330 that day and seeing that there was no one there to train me it was pointless for me to stay at work, so I was lucky enough that I got to leave early. Seriously that was the best thing that could have happened that day because I got to have a couple hour nap which I was in desperate need of.

We went to Zoo Lights and I, for obvious reasons fell in love with Candy Land!

After Zoo Lights, I got warmed up at home and then I decided to go to bed because I just that tired still.
Saturday came and I was lucky enough to have a friend from work inform me that she had an extra ticket to the Nutcracker and asked if I wanted to go with her. I jumped at the opportunity to go. I haven't seen it in years and I always love the Ballet. So we went and it was beautiful. The music was just outstanding and the dancing made me jealous that I was never that talented at anything like that. I wish that they would have let you take pictures because it was just so beautiful.
After the Nutcracker I went home and I just cleaned up a bit and then did some last minute stocking stuffer shopping for Michelle.
On Sunday I got up and went to church, and for those of you who know me lately, that has been a very difficult thing for me to do. I am glad I went. They had an entire sacrament with musical numbers and people bearing their testimony.
I'm not going to lie, but I cant remember what I did after church, so Im going to assume that I didnt do much at all. hahaha

Then came Christmas Eve. Laura wanted to get her picture taken with Santa, but she slept in. I however was up and ready early, and I think that made the day that much better because I didnt just lounge around. I actually put forth an effort to look nice. As the day went on I just did a few things here and there but kept it pretty easy. Then we had to go get Michelle from work.. Which by the way is like FOREVER away from our house and she could transfer to the store thats super close to where we both live but she wont because she likes the people she works with. Yes I get that you like the people you work with but sometimes its easier to work closer especially when it will save you travel time and you can get more sleep this way.
Anyway, we went and got Michelle and then went to the nativity pagent that is held at Heritage Park. It was so unbelievably cold out. Good thing I brought a blanket to help keep us from freezing. No it did not keep us warm, but it kept the cold from fully setting in which was nice. Im going to be honest... Jeremy and I should NEVER sit next to each other for such occasions because we were worse than 2 immature teenagers with how disruptive we were being. There were a few times when we found it really hard not to burst out into loud laughter. Either way it made the evening that much better.

If your are wondering this picture is of Michelle, Myself and Jeremy. Michelles hat was like a dead animal that decided to blind her.

This is our Tree!! Seriously I have never seen so many presents under the tree for my personal christmas until I had moved out here and we decided to do christmas together. Yes I know that presents isnt the true meaning of christmas but it does help make things all the merrier!!

This year is was Michelles turn to buy the christmas pj's for us.... Needless to say mine were too small, but I still wore them. It made for a good laugh when we put them on especially because there was only one size difference between our pj's and her's were too big and mine were too small.

We did breakfast on christmas morning and then opened all of our presents. I was lucky because I got a lot of gifts from my family and friends and it just made everything so great. I do hate the feeling when all the presents are opened that christmas has in some way ended, and I think this is why I would in many ways have it so christmas didnt involve all the gift giving. Dont get me wrong, I very much appreicate the gifts that are given but it just seems to take away from what is really important during this time of the year.

After gifts we just did our own things until dinner time and then we ate... that is what the picture of above is of. After dinner we went to Monsters Inc. 3D. I LOVE that movie and when I heard that it was going to be back in theatres I said that we had to go. Laura and I started a tradition a few years back that we go to the movies on christmas day night... however last year christmas fell on a sunday so we didnt get to go. But this year we reinstated the tradition and went. I forgot how grea that movie was!

When we got home from the movies we had our dessert. I was in charge of getting/making it and seeing that Im not really that big on baking or cooking I went across the street and got a DQ Ice Cream cake... the lady at the counter was rather confused by what I wanted written on it. I dont think she understood what East Coast meant because she had to clarify 3 times that that was in fact what I wanted on the cake. I was trying really hard not to laugh at her. The saddest part about the cake was that when it came time to eat it I just wasnt that hungry so I didnt even finish my piece. It broke my heart in a lot of ways because this is my favorite cake.
I think that maybe it was because of the fact that I was actually quite nervous about the boy coming over. A lot of you know that I have a lot of issues opening up and letting my walls down, and I also seem to attach myself to the most wrong for me type of guys and this seriously terrifies me beyond anything that words can describe. I attached myself to someone for 2 and a half years and I fell so unbelievably in love with him. Yes love should be a good thing but in this case, little by little it was destroying me because he was never ever going to commit to me the way that I was in many ways committed to him. It didnt help that he was/is one of my best friends. Hes knows everything about me and he is one person I always want to talk to when things either go bad or go really good for me. It has taken me a long time to let myself get over him and just let the friendship remain and it feels great. But this has left a giant wall up around me. I dont want to get into another situation where I am stuck wasting time on someone who will never want me back the way that I want them, and someone who isnt willing to give us a chance. Again there are many walls that are up around me because of things that have happened in the past on many different occaisions with different people, and for the first time in a very long time I am letting some of them down. Again this isnt easy for me at all. This has got to be one of the most scary things that I have ever had to do in my life. I think I would rather have to get needles than open up the way that people want me to. Thats saying something because needles are my BIGGEST fear. Theres something about opening up to those who are close to me that just scares me so much. It puts me in a position where I feel naked and vulnerable and when Im in this position it is so much easier to get hurt, and the last thing that I want is to get hurt. I've been really hurt before and I felt as if I wanted to die, and the last thing I want is to feel that way again.
For some reason though, I feel as if I need to open up more with this person. Even though there have been many times where my initial instinct is to get the hell out of here and run for my life, I just cant seem to do that. Some people think that I need to be cautious, which I will be, but I cant seem to break away from the what could be. Something is keeping me right where I am, and as much as it's so scary for me, I know that its really good for me. Who knows if this is just to prepare me for something else that will come my way, but I know that this will help me grow and help make it easier for me to take the walls down at a later time.
2013 is coming up quick, and I am seriously so excited for the new year to start!!! There are many good things that this year will bring and its made me more excited to say goodbye to 2012.
2012 had what seems like more downs than up, and it has also presented me with many personal challenges and struggles that have literally torn me down in many ways. I'm ready to say farewell!
This coming year is bringing lots of things that are going to make me happy!
January 11th-21st I will be home in Halifax! I seriously cannot begin to express how excited I am to just go home and relax and see all my friends and family. It is going to be a great time to just reflect on what may come after I get home.
I will also be fully transitioned into my new position at work!! This is something I am more than excited about because it is a great career move within the company and it can help further me at a later date if ever want to move up. Because I am the person that I am, I want to move up and learn all that I can. I think that this company can help with that and it seriously isn't going to just be another job that I have, this is where my career will start!!
Now this is also going to help me get what I want the most right now... I want a car!! Seriously its a big thing for me! I have never had my own car and I need to get one. It will give me a different type of freedom that I never had before. I am just dying to get one!! I dont want a brand new car because they are too expensive and because the moment you drive it off the lot is depreciates in value by 5,000$ and I think that a gently used car is just as good as a new one. I dont want to buy outright because that will take forever to save up the money so I want to finance one. That is the next thing on my list... Now all I need to do is actually do it! I may need some help trying to pick one out because I suck at all things cars! I pretty much know nothing about them.
Now... 2013 will bring on something I dont really want it to... I turn 26 in less than 5 months and that is scary for me! But hey, with how things could possibly turn out, it could make 26 a pretty great year for me! *Fingers Crossed*
Now... on June 22nd there is someone who is coming to Canada... I wish she was coming to Calgary but shes not. She will be in Winnepeg and I will be too!! Laura and I are going to Taylor Swift!!!! I saw her in the fall of 2007 when she opened for Brad Paisley along with Rodney Atkins. I have never seen her headline a tour before and because I am just oh so in love with her, and because she seems to write every song about my own life and I cannot wait to hear them live and scream and go crazy!!!
Her opening act is Ed Sheeran who I am also so excited to see! He has some really great songs and I know that this trip is going to be great!!!
Now this is just the first 6 months of 2013... who knows what the other 6 months will bring! I am excited for all of the things unfold and see how certain things play out!!!
So 2012, Im sorry but I am more than ready to say goodbye to you!! You've been some what of a good year, but I think that 2013 will bring more surprises and many great memories!!!!


*I got all pictures from Laura... I dont have a computer of my own yet... It's awaiting me in Halifax*

Who Would Have Thought!?

On Thursday night Cortney was in town and staying at my place because she was going to a wedding... who gets married on a Thursday!? These people did, and as long as you're happy and all the important people can make it who cares what day it's on!

Having Cort in town meant that I would have to give up my weekend rutual of being lazy and staying in comfy clothes, which sometimes mean wearing a bathingsuit top because I don't feel like putting on a bra. Im just being honest, I dont like bras most days. But that is besides the point...
So Cortney on friday wanted to do something, and since Im broker than broke at this very moment I said I couldn't really do much that required money... In case you are wondering why that is, it's because when you dont have the money to do things people wont let you do them. Unfortunately nothing in life is ever reall free these days.
I suggested that we go to a movie because I had enough scene points to get a free movie! Yay for me and my obsession with movies.
So we went and saw "Silver Linnings Playbook"

Ok, So Bradley Cooper can marry me whenever he wants because I am more than willing to be attached to that man for the rest of my life!! Love Him!!
Not only is he EXTREMELY attractive in every way possible, he is a great actor.
Jennifer Lawrence, mostly known for her role in "The Hunger Games" and "X-Men: First Class" surprised me. I didn't expect her to be as convincing as she was. I don't want to go into too much detail for those of you who want to see it. But she is playing a bit of a "crazy" person and she does a great job and I was very impressed. Overall I was very impressed with the movie. If you dont mind swearing then I would suggest seeing it. But if a lot of swearing bothers you, then I wouldnt go see it.

So after the movie we heard that there was a party going on that was a christmas dance party, and being myself and Cortney, we both LOVE dancing and were quite excited about going to it. So we get ready and we tried to look semi decent and get to where this party was being held, come to find out it was a social gathering with people performing... aka a christmas talent show. The best thing was that I got to see people I havent seen in a long time. It was funny because before we left Cortney was saying she was worried people would think her make up was over the top, and I told her not to worry about it because people would be more shocked to see me out of the house haha which was quite true. Some people didnt know what to make of it.


So after a night of restless sleep because someone snored all night, we got up and I was dragged to the Calgary Farmers Market for a little bit, and then Cortney had to meet up with some people to practice a dance routine she is supposed to do in the new year. So I sat there and watched with intimidation because I cannot pick up coreography like she can and I cant dance like she can either. I tend to feel really self concious around people who are so good at things and it makes it harder for me to get out of my shell.
So Cortney found out about this UofC latin dance club things that hold dances every month at this community hall, and anyone can go but its cheaper if you're a member of the club. I guess a lot of members go because in the western parts of Canada the youth learn such dances, where as in the eastern parts we dont. Therefore I am wildly untalented in that area.

I wouldnt mind looking like the people in the video below. That would be nice, but that would mean a lot of practice and money to spend on those classes and I dont really have the time or the money to do it.
http://youtu.be/u5ijcckWszY

A night out with Cortney woudnt be the same if there wasnt some sort of a picture taken, and being the typical girls that we are we took it in the bathroom.

The reaminder of the night was spent by Cortney dancing with some guy she met there and me sitting on the side with some of the people Cortney already knew. I ended up talking to this one guy for about a half hour or more before the dance was done (it was over at 2am) and he said he was going to Mcdonalds afterwards. Then as the dance ended Cort suggested that I go with this guy to just hang out... I said ok. So we went to the Mcdonalds on 17th ave... Let me tell you right now... SKETCHIEST MCDONALDS EVER!!  We went to the Mcdonalds and I didnt want anything so he was the only one who got something to eat, and we ended up just talking. Before we knew it, it was after 5am and we said we would leave at 530. Then as the conversation continued we lost track of time and it was then 630. We said we would leave in a few minutes, but again we just kept talking and didnt leave until 8am. So I didnt get home until close to 830 and needless to say, there was no way I was waking up in an hour to get ready for church.

I think after everything was said and done I had a pretty good weekend, and even though I was way out of my comfort zone I had a good time.
This weekend I was grateful for my friends and the impact they have on my life, and I am so happy that they are apart of who I am and apart of my growing process.
I still can't wait to go home in January. Its going to be so great to see so many people that I have been missing so much over the last little while.

Well happy monday to you all even though I feel half alive after the lack sleep on my part!!

Christmas Shopping Blues

I love Christmas, I really do. I may not show in the ways of some people like crazy decorating. But I love spending time with those I love and I love knowing that whatever I have given those people has made them happy in some way.
Now I have the hardest time shopping for other people. I wish it were just simple like it used to be when we were kids in school and would just make a random craft to give to our parents. I was never the overly crafty one, but I know that my parents always loved what I gave them because it came from the heart and I made it.
This year I'm finding it rather difficult to get into the shopping spirit. Maybe its because I procrastinated like I always do or it's because I've spent some money on myself this year and so that mixed with bills have just made me want to scream!
Now my trips that I've spent money on were: I rented a car to go to Edmonton because there were people I wanted to see and because I just needed a break for a few days. So this trip wasn't just for me, but for my sanity and for my friends who I havent seen in years. All around it was great trip and it gave me the boost I was looking for.
The other trip that I paid for is a trip home in January. This one I am more than just little excited about. The last time I was home was in July and it was only for 2.5 days for my brothers wedding. Yes it was great time being with family, but it was so rushed and jam packed with things that I didnt really get a chance to visit and do things. So I thought I would take the opportunity to go home when a seat sale arose, and it did so I booked it and I cannot wait to get home and see so many people and just have a good time. This trip is going to give me the boost that I need and it cannot come soon enough.
So these 2 trips are what is costing me money and making me hate shopping for people. Now I can shop for the people who live close to me because that can be done up until the last shopping day if I desire, but its the people who live back home that I'm having issues with.
Josh and Lyla will be easy, but its really my parents I have no sweet clue as to what I can get them.
What do you get people who have everything already and wont tell you what they want!? It's so frustrating when they tell you to make a list but they aren't willing to do the same.
I did come up with a great idea for them, but then I realized that it would be more than 300$ and yes I love my parents but thats getting a little pricey if I do say so myself.
So I guess its back to the drawing board for me!
Keep your fingers crossed that I come up with something thats semi good and that I get it all done before I have to spend extra to get it there in time.

"Everything has Changed"

By the title of this blog, which are lyrics from the Taylor Swift album "Red", you can probably tell that Im going to be writing about changes in my life.
There have been quite a few as of late.
Recently 2 of closest friends got married and I couldnt be happier for them. Their happiness means the world to me.
This has brought on many changes, I dont have any close friends left really. I dont have much of a life, and Im sure if I made more of an effort on some occasions I would, but in all honesty right now Im not motivated enough to try. The things that used to make me happy no longer do.
I have been dreaming of home lately a lot, and missing all of my friends from there. No they weren't from the same "crowd" as me, but they were great friends who understood me and were accepting of who I was and that was everything I needed from them. Some people just arent as understanding as I would hope, but thats ok.
I've been wondering why I live in Calgary a lot lately.
Yes I love my job a lot and that is great. I love IKEA and I love that Im so close to Laura. But my question is, is it enough?
Its funny because when I lived in edmonton I moved home after 14 months of living there, and I have just surpassed that mark here in Calgary.
I guess its just hard being here and not having things be the way I thought it would be.
If I were to ever move home I dont know how I would handle that. I love my family a lot but I dont love that if I were closer I think some people would try to control my life in some aspects, and I dont want to disappoint those I love. At least living here they cant see my disappointments.
I've gone through a lot over this last year and it has taken a toll on me, but I think that I have handled things in an ok way. I've gotten passed a lot of it, but there are somethings that still haunt me, but I'm sure that those things will haunt me for a long time. I'm over it for the most part.
Im dying to go home for a visit and Im hoping that this will make me remember why I wanted to live in Calgary and that I will be dying to get back here, but I dont know.
Its frustrating me thinking about how much I actually miss it there. I dont think Halifax has a lot to offer me but I know that I have more friends there than I do here, and thats a big factor for me.
I dont do well alone and right now I feel alone.
Everything has changed...

I Work Out!

Laura the other day came home and said that she found someone who had the work out videos "Insanity" and that she uploaded them to her computer and that she was going to try it out. I had heard of this before and I heard that it was CRRRRRAAAAAZZZZZYYYY!!!

Well let me tell you this... IT IS!
Laura did the Day 1 fit test and told me that I should try it. So when I got home from work I thought about it and decided that I would give it a go.
It was crazy! I couldnt do a whole lot of everything but I pushed myself to do as much as I could. Yesterday was Day 2 and well, Kayla had a good laugh because I was yelling and looked ridiculous! Today I am so sore, but in the end I know that it will be worth it.

If you dont know what this is, here is a video!

Since getting my new job, which I love and has made me so happy, I have put on a few pounds. Now Im not saying that I am by any means fat, but there are some problem areas that I have. I had issues with my weight when I was in Junior High and High Shcool, but when I moved to Edmonton I lost a bunch of weight and felt good about myself. Heres the thing that not a lot of people know, after I lost a lot of weight because I couldnt afford food I got scared that I would put the weight back on because I finally could afford to get real groceries. This fear that I had kept me from eating. I chose not to eat a whole lot because I didnt want to gain the weight back. I made sure that I didnt eat some days because of this reason. I was stupid and not a smart eater.  Over the last few years I got better at actually eating and I put on a few pounds, but nothing too drastic because I was always on my feet all day and there was a time where I would run a few times a week. When I hurt my knee I stopped running but again because of where I worked I stayed pretty active everyday. Now at RECA I sit for about 97% of my day and when you sit and arent overly busy you start to snack. Now this is NOT a good thing to do. I have put on weight in areas I never thought possible. Im not saying I want to lose a lot of weight, but a few pounds would be nice and I want to tone my body. I think that the tonning part will help out with all the other areas that I seem to be having issues with lately.
This is all why I want to continue doing Insanity. Yes it is nice to look good when I go out or wear a certain outfit, and Yes it does feel great when you go into a store and you fit into a size that you deam acceptable. But for me its not all about the looking good part. Its more about feeling good with your body. I want to wake up in the morning and not think "Oh man I am a fatty cakes today" or "I wish I felt better about myself". I want to wake up in the morning knowing that I am doing something about the way I feel about myself, and be proud of who I am. Now Im not saying I want to be size 2 but I do want to feel confortable in whatever size I wear and I think that by doing this I will accomplish that goal.

Plus Lauras wedding is coming up in a few months and I want to look good!!
So today I am sore, but am proud of myself for doing this.

Monday, Monday, Monday

Today I woke up with many things on my mind. And They are all things that I am grateful for so I thought that I would take the time to share them with you as well! : )

First off, pretty much every morning I wake up and think about if I have fed my bunny the night before or not. Now this bunny is my first pet besides the 2 fish I had for a few months years ago, and I dont think that they really count. My bunnies name is whatever you want to call him because I just call him Bunny, Laura calls him Willie, and Kayla (who is allergic) calls him Hey Man. Then there is Michelle, who met him for the first time on Saturday night and the first thing she said to me was "Is this what having a child is like!? Instant Love!??" Im not sure if it is the exact same, but he is quite loveable!

When I face timed Lyla so that she could meet "Nessa's Pet" I asked her what she wanted to name him and at first she said Lyla, but I informed her it was a boy so she said Fayad! That is the name of her little friend from pre school. I thought it was random and funny that she would pick that name out of all of them.

I also woke up wishing it were October already because I am more than excited about going to Carrie Underwood and Justin Bieber! These are 2 concerts I have been wanting to see for a long time now and the fact that I now live in a Province that gets good concerts makes me more than delighted!!! I am also happy that Laura will be attending these with me!!! It is going to be a blast!!!! : )

So I am starting a not so real countdown, and by that I mean that I really have no sweet clue how many days are actually left. But I know that its only a few weeks away until Jeremy and Kim get married! I am so excited to go home and see my family and be apart of this day. Its going to be a super quick trip but it will be well worth it. I love Kim! She is great! I like knowing that I was the first person in my family (besides Jeremy of course) to have met her! Some times is pays off living some what close to my brother!

Now onto the countdown that I am not looking forward to AT ALL! So there are only about 4 days left living with Kayla and well I am not happy about it at all. I met Kayla at EFY in 2010 and we were roommates second week. Now Im not saying we became BFF's right away, but there was a friendship developed and we kept some what in contact over the next year and then this past summer at EFY we got even closer and I told her she needed to move to Calgary and well, after about a month of convincing her to do so, she did! We have become quite close and share many similarities in our personalities and share many of the same interests in a variety of things. I know that she will only be about an 8 hour drive away but thats a pretty far drive for just a visit, especially because our rooms were next to each other so when I wanted to hang out I just had to knock on her door. I have a few close friends, and it worries me that the distance will hinder our friendship, and I dont want that to happen because I like having her as a friend. She has become one of my very best friends and I dont want her to leave. Odds are this weekend I will cry when I have to say goodbye to her, and so thats going to suck. It feels so weird knowing that she will be moving away.  

Well to end things off I just want to say that I am greatful for all of the things listed above (except for the whole Kayla moving part). I have seen a lot of good changes in my life over the past little while and for that I am also greatful. I am working hard at making my life the best that it can be and even though there are times when it seems impossible, I know that it can happen and it will, and for that I am also greatful. I have seen many blessings in my life and I know that without the Lords help and the help of 2 very close friends I wouldnt be where I am right now.
I am Happy!

Oh My Gosh! I Have A Life!???

There have been many days where I have wished that I had a life. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to take it easy and just do nothing on the weekends, but there have been many times when I just wished I had something to do or people to hang out with. Well, last week my friend Jon told about how there was a "Mid Singles Conference" happening on the weekend and that I should go. I IMMEDIATELY dismissed the idea because 1. The age limit was 27 and 2. I was NOT ready to accept the whole "mid singles" title. I made the mistake of telling Jon that if he would go swimming last Wednesday that I would go to the activity on the Friday... Of course he showed up. I was little disappointed that he actually did because I am never one to back down from a promise that has been made.
So onto Friday, Kayla was going to Medicine Hat and since I dont have my own car, She left hers to ensure that I didnt have any reason to not go to the Conference. Looking back on everything that has happened over the weekend I am more than glad that she did leave me her car.
Friday night there was a mix n mingle section and then they did... SPEED DATING! hahahaha
I was happy because they made the girls get paired up into twos and my friend Kara was in town for the same thing so we paired up together. Then the "dating" started. They made the guys rotate from room to room, and there were 2 girls to 1 guy and that is why the girls got paired up.
At one point Kara had to go to the bathroom and I was left alone to deal with the upcoming "dates" and I wasnt sure how I felt about the whole situation yet so I wasnt too pleased about being alone at this point. One guy came through and immediately the conversation just flowed. It was light hearted and funny. When the lights flickered to signal the rotation he and I kept talking but it wasnt fair to the next people so we ended the conversation. Over the remainder of the activity all I wanted to do was talk to this guy again. I wasnt sure why but I just really wanted to talk more with this guy. It didnt help that he wouldnt tell me where he was from so I just HAD to know.
After waiting around with Kara in hopes of me making enough of a first impression that he would want to talk to me too, He and his friend finally made their way towards me.
Me being the stupid girl that I am I got a little giddy, but I didnt let it show.
After talking for a bit we decided that we were all hungry and didnt want to call it a night just yet, so we decided a little late night eating was in order. We went to BP's and it was a fun night full of whitty banter and comical conversation. I was in heaven. I felt at ease around people I didnt really know that well, and I was also just having a good time. For once I was doing something for me and only me and I was having a good time.
So this boy ended up wanting to hang out a little more and he came and hung out at my house and we just spent hours talking and it was nice to just be in my own element and not have to worry about the thoughts of others around me and be able to be myself. I have issues trying to be myself around people for fear of judgment and not being good enough. I have many insecurities and hate feeling vulnerable so I dont let myself be open very often or easily. But with the conversation that was being had I found myself being more open than I intended to be. I didnt spill out my life story but I still let myself relax a little more than what is normal for me.
So after great conversation and very little sleep, Saturday rolled around and I found myself with a slight crush and really excited to attend the dance!
The dance was pretty good considering I didnt have any real "girl" friends to dance with but I made the most of it and had a good time.
I got to dance with this boy to the first dance and it was nice being able to dance with someone that I didnt have to ask to dance with. Boys are clueless some times and they dont see that girls want to dance with them. This boy however is not like the others. It was refreshing.
After the dance we hung out and again very little sleep was had but I was left feeling even more interested than before.
Sunday came and so did church. It was fun because we had the meetings in where EFY had classes and it brought back a lot of memories and it made me feel as if I needed to tell people to shut up haha.
After church there was a BBQ and there were stolen glances from across the room, little touches as we passed each other, lame excuses of needing help. All in all it was a good day. Again that night there was very little sleep but it was worth it.
I couldnt sleep that night becaus I had a horrible headache and it just wasnt letting up. It didnt help that I didnt eat anything that day and barely anything the day before. This has started talk amoung the guys thinking that I have an eating disorder... I DO NOT! Sometimes you feel as if you are hungry but then food just isnt appealing and you lose your appetite.
I saw the guys again Monday night, but there was some girl who was around and like I said before, I am done competing for someone. Im tired of having to fight when in the end I wont get what I want especially in this case because this guy doesnt live in Calgary. He is from Toronto but lives in Austrailia. Not fair! I am the one who always fall for the guys who are either Jerks, Unavailable emotionally, not interested, or dont live anywhere near me. Yup! just my luck.
But the point to this story being told is the fact that for the first time in a long time, I have had a great weekend and I did it all on my own. I didnt have to go out with my roommates to have a good time. I got to have a life all on my own and I am more than happy that I did.
25 is starting to look up after all!! : )