By the title of this blog, which are lyrics from the Taylor Swift album "Red", you can probably tell that Im going to be writing about changes in my life.
There have been quite a few as of late.
Recently 2 of closest friends got married and I couldnt be happier for them. Their happiness means the world to me.
This has brought on many changes, I dont have any close friends left really. I dont have much of a life, and Im sure if I made more of an effort on some occasions I would, but in all honesty right now Im not motivated enough to try. The things that used to make me happy no longer do.
I have been dreaming of home lately a lot, and missing all of my friends from there. No they weren't from the same "crowd" as me, but they were great friends who understood me and were accepting of who I was and that was everything I needed from them. Some people just arent as understanding as I would hope, but thats ok.
I've been wondering why I live in Calgary a lot lately.
Yes I love my job a lot and that is great. I love IKEA and I love that Im so close to Laura. But my question is, is it enough?
Its funny because when I lived in edmonton I moved home after 14 months of living there, and I have just surpassed that mark here in Calgary.
I guess its just hard being here and not having things be the way I thought it would be.
If I were to ever move home I dont know how I would handle that. I love my family a lot but I dont love that if I were closer I think some people would try to control my life in some aspects, and I dont want to disappoint those I love. At least living here they cant see my disappointments.
I've gone through a lot over this last year and it has taken a toll on me, but I think that I have handled things in an ok way. I've gotten passed a lot of it, but there are somethings that still haunt me, but I'm sure that those things will haunt me for a long time. I'm over it for the most part.
Im dying to go home for a visit and Im hoping that this will make me remember why I wanted to live in Calgary and that I will be dying to get back here, but I dont know.
Its frustrating me thinking about how much I actually miss it there. I dont think Halifax has a lot to offer me but I know that I have more friends there than I do here, and thats a big factor for me.
I dont do well alone and right now I feel alone.
Everything has changed...
Monday, November 5, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
I Work Out!
Laura the other day came home and said that she found someone who had the work out videos "Insanity" and that she uploaded them to her computer and that she was going to try it out. I had heard of this before and I heard that it was CRRRRRAAAAAZZZZZYYYY!!!
Well let me tell you this... IT IS!
Laura did the Day 1 fit test and told me that I should try it. So when I got home from work I thought about it and decided that I would give it a go.
It was crazy! I couldnt do a whole lot of everything but I pushed myself to do as much as I could. Yesterday was Day 2 and well, Kayla had a good laugh because I was yelling and looked ridiculous! Today I am so sore, but in the end I know that it will be worth it.
Laura did the Day 1 fit test and told me that I should try it. So when I got home from work I thought about it and decided that I would give it a go.
It was crazy! I couldnt do a whole lot of everything but I pushed myself to do as much as I could. Yesterday was Day 2 and well, Kayla had a good laugh because I was yelling and looked ridiculous! Today I am so sore, but in the end I know that it will be worth it.
If you dont know what this is, here is a video!
Since getting my new job, which I love and has made me so happy, I have put on a few pounds. Now Im not saying that I am by any means fat, but there are some problem areas that I have. I had issues with my weight when I was in Junior High and High Shcool, but when I moved to Edmonton I lost a bunch of weight and felt good about myself. Heres the thing that not a lot of people know, after I lost a lot of weight because I couldnt afford food I got scared that I would put the weight back on because I finally could afford to get real groceries. This fear that I had kept me from eating. I chose not to eat a whole lot because I didnt want to gain the weight back. I made sure that I didnt eat some days because of this reason. I was stupid and not a smart eater. Over the last few years I got better at actually eating and I put on a few pounds, but nothing too drastic because I was always on my feet all day and there was a time where I would run a few times a week. When I hurt my knee I stopped running but again because of where I worked I stayed pretty active everyday. Now at RECA I sit for about 97% of my day and when you sit and arent overly busy you start to snack. Now this is NOT a good thing to do. I have put on weight in areas I never thought possible. Im not saying I want to lose a lot of weight, but a few pounds would be nice and I want to tone my body. I think that the tonning part will help out with all the other areas that I seem to be having issues with lately.
This is all why I want to continue doing Insanity. Yes it is nice to look good when I go out or wear a certain outfit, and Yes it does feel great when you go into a store and you fit into a size that you deam acceptable. But for me its not all about the looking good part. Its more about feeling good with your body. I want to wake up in the morning and not think "Oh man I am a fatty cakes today" or "I wish I felt better about myself". I want to wake up in the morning knowing that I am doing something about the way I feel about myself, and be proud of who I am. Now Im not saying I want to be size 2 but I do want to feel confortable in whatever size I wear and I think that by doing this I will accomplish that goal.
This is all why I want to continue doing Insanity. Yes it is nice to look good when I go out or wear a certain outfit, and Yes it does feel great when you go into a store and you fit into a size that you deam acceptable. But for me its not all about the looking good part. Its more about feeling good with your body. I want to wake up in the morning and not think "Oh man I am a fatty cakes today" or "I wish I felt better about myself". I want to wake up in the morning knowing that I am doing something about the way I feel about myself, and be proud of who I am. Now Im not saying I want to be size 2 but I do want to feel confortable in whatever size I wear and I think that by doing this I will accomplish that goal.
Plus Lauras wedding is coming up in a few months and I want to look good!!
So today I am sore, but am proud of myself for doing this.
So today I am sore, but am proud of myself for doing this.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Monday, Monday, Monday
Today I woke up with many things on my mind. And They are all things that I am grateful for so I thought that I would take the time to share them with you as well! : )
First off, pretty much every morning I wake up and think about if I have fed my bunny the night before or not. Now this bunny is my first pet besides the 2 fish I had for a few months years ago, and I dont think that they really count. My bunnies name is whatever you want to call him because I just call him Bunny, Laura calls him Willie, and Kayla (who is allergic) calls him Hey Man. Then there is Michelle, who met him for the first time on Saturday night and the first thing she said to me was "Is this what having a child is like!? Instant Love!??" Im not sure if it is the exact same, but he is quite loveable!
When I face timed Lyla so that she could meet "Nessa's Pet" I asked her what she wanted to name him and at first she said Lyla, but I informed her it was a boy so she said Fayad! That is the name of her little friend from pre school. I thought it was random and funny that she would pick that name out of all of them.
I also woke up wishing it were October already because I am more than excited about going to Carrie Underwood and Justin Bieber! These are 2 concerts I have been wanting to see for a long time now and the fact that I now live in a Province that gets good concerts makes me more than delighted!!! I am also happy that Laura will be attending these with me!!! It is going to be a blast!!!! : )
So I am starting a not so real countdown, and by that I mean that I really have no sweet clue how many days are actually left. But I know that its only a few weeks away until Jeremy and Kim get married! I am so excited to go home and see my family and be apart of this day. Its going to be a super quick trip but it will be well worth it. I love Kim! She is great! I like knowing that I was the first person in my family (besides Jeremy of course) to have met her! Some times is pays off living some what close to my brother!
Now onto the countdown that I am not looking forward to AT ALL! So there are only about 4 days left living with Kayla and well I am not happy about it at all. I met Kayla at EFY in 2010 and we were roommates second week. Now Im not saying we became BFF's right away, but there was a friendship developed and we kept some what in contact over the next year and then this past summer at EFY we got even closer and I told her she needed to move to Calgary and well, after about a month of convincing her to do so, she did! We have become quite close and share many similarities in our personalities and share many of the same interests in a variety of things. I know that she will only be about an 8 hour drive away but thats a pretty far drive for just a visit, especially because our rooms were next to each other so when I wanted to hang out I just had to knock on her door. I have a few close friends, and it worries me that the distance will hinder our friendship, and I dont want that to happen because I like having her as a friend. She has become one of my very best friends and I dont want her to leave. Odds are this weekend I will cry when I have to say goodbye to her, and so thats going to suck. It feels so weird knowing that she will be moving away.
Well to end things off I just want to say that I am greatful for all of the things listed above (except for the whole Kayla moving part). I have seen a lot of good changes in my life over the past little while and for that I am also greatful. I am working hard at making my life the best that it can be and even though there are times when it seems impossible, I know that it can happen and it will, and for that I am also greatful. I have seen many blessings in my life and I know that without the Lords help and the help of 2 very close friends I wouldnt be where I am right now.
I am Happy!
I am Happy!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Oh My Gosh! I Have A Life!???
There have been many days where I have wished that I had a life. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to take it easy and just do nothing on the weekends, but there have been many times when I just wished I had something to do or people to hang out with. Well, last week my friend Jon told about how there was a "Mid Singles Conference" happening on the weekend and that I should go. I IMMEDIATELY dismissed the idea because 1. The age limit was 27 and 2. I was NOT ready to accept the whole "mid singles" title. I made the mistake of telling Jon that if he would go swimming last Wednesday that I would go to the activity on the Friday... Of course he showed up. I was little disappointed that he actually did because I am never one to back down from a promise that has been made.
So onto Friday, Kayla was going to Medicine Hat and since I dont have my own car, She left hers to ensure that I didnt have any reason to not go to the Conference. Looking back on everything that has happened over the weekend I am more than glad that she did leave me her car.
Friday night there was a mix n mingle section and then they did... SPEED DATING! hahahaha
I was happy because they made the girls get paired up into twos and my friend Kara was in town for the same thing so we paired up together. Then the "dating" started. They made the guys rotate from room to room, and there were 2 girls to 1 guy and that is why the girls got paired up.
At one point Kara had to go to the bathroom and I was left alone to deal with the upcoming "dates" and I wasnt sure how I felt about the whole situation yet so I wasnt too pleased about being alone at this point. One guy came through and immediately the conversation just flowed. It was light hearted and funny. When the lights flickered to signal the rotation he and I kept talking but it wasnt fair to the next people so we ended the conversation. Over the remainder of the activity all I wanted to do was talk to this guy again. I wasnt sure why but I just really wanted to talk more with this guy. It didnt help that he wouldnt tell me where he was from so I just HAD to know.
After waiting around with Kara in hopes of me making enough of a first impression that he would want to talk to me too, He and his friend finally made their way towards me.
Me being the stupid girl that I am I got a little giddy, but I didnt let it show.
After talking for a bit we decided that we were all hungry and didnt want to call it a night just yet, so we decided a little late night eating was in order. We went to BP's and it was a fun night full of whitty banter and comical conversation. I was in heaven. I felt at ease around people I didnt really know that well, and I was also just having a good time. For once I was doing something for me and only me and I was having a good time.
So this boy ended up wanting to hang out a little more and he came and hung out at my house and we just spent hours talking and it was nice to just be in my own element and not have to worry about the thoughts of others around me and be able to be myself. I have issues trying to be myself around people for fear of judgment and not being good enough. I have many insecurities and hate feeling vulnerable so I dont let myself be open very often or easily. But with the conversation that was being had I found myself being more open than I intended to be. I didnt spill out my life story but I still let myself relax a little more than what is normal for me.
So after great conversation and very little sleep, Saturday rolled around and I found myself with a slight crush and really excited to attend the dance!
The dance was pretty good considering I didnt have any real "girl" friends to dance with but I made the most of it and had a good time.
I got to dance with this boy to the first dance and it was nice being able to dance with someone that I didnt have to ask to dance with. Boys are clueless some times and they dont see that girls want to dance with them. This boy however is not like the others. It was refreshing.
After the dance we hung out and again very little sleep was had but I was left feeling even more interested than before.
Sunday came and so did church. It was fun because we had the meetings in where EFY had classes and it brought back a lot of memories and it made me feel as if I needed to tell people to shut up haha.
After church there was a BBQ and there were stolen glances from across the room, little touches as we passed each other, lame excuses of needing help. All in all it was a good day. Again that night there was very little sleep but it was worth it.
I couldnt sleep that night becaus I had a horrible headache and it just wasnt letting up. It didnt help that I didnt eat anything that day and barely anything the day before. This has started talk amoung the guys thinking that I have an eating disorder... I DO NOT! Sometimes you feel as if you are hungry but then food just isnt appealing and you lose your appetite.
I saw the guys again Monday night, but there was some girl who was around and like I said before, I am done competing for someone. Im tired of having to fight when in the end I wont get what I want especially in this case because this guy doesnt live in Calgary. He is from Toronto but lives in Austrailia. Not fair! I am the one who always fall for the guys who are either Jerks, Unavailable emotionally, not interested, or dont live anywhere near me. Yup! just my luck.
But the point to this story being told is the fact that for the first time in a long time, I have had a great weekend and I did it all on my own. I didnt have to go out with my roommates to have a good time. I got to have a life all on my own and I am more than happy that I did.
25 is starting to look up after all!! : )
So onto Friday, Kayla was going to Medicine Hat and since I dont have my own car, She left hers to ensure that I didnt have any reason to not go to the Conference. Looking back on everything that has happened over the weekend I am more than glad that she did leave me her car.
Friday night there was a mix n mingle section and then they did... SPEED DATING! hahahaha
I was happy because they made the girls get paired up into twos and my friend Kara was in town for the same thing so we paired up together. Then the "dating" started. They made the guys rotate from room to room, and there were 2 girls to 1 guy and that is why the girls got paired up.
At one point Kara had to go to the bathroom and I was left alone to deal with the upcoming "dates" and I wasnt sure how I felt about the whole situation yet so I wasnt too pleased about being alone at this point. One guy came through and immediately the conversation just flowed. It was light hearted and funny. When the lights flickered to signal the rotation he and I kept talking but it wasnt fair to the next people so we ended the conversation. Over the remainder of the activity all I wanted to do was talk to this guy again. I wasnt sure why but I just really wanted to talk more with this guy. It didnt help that he wouldnt tell me where he was from so I just HAD to know.
After waiting around with Kara in hopes of me making enough of a first impression that he would want to talk to me too, He and his friend finally made their way towards me.
Me being the stupid girl that I am I got a little giddy, but I didnt let it show.
After talking for a bit we decided that we were all hungry and didnt want to call it a night just yet, so we decided a little late night eating was in order. We went to BP's and it was a fun night full of whitty banter and comical conversation. I was in heaven. I felt at ease around people I didnt really know that well, and I was also just having a good time. For once I was doing something for me and only me and I was having a good time.
So this boy ended up wanting to hang out a little more and he came and hung out at my house and we just spent hours talking and it was nice to just be in my own element and not have to worry about the thoughts of others around me and be able to be myself. I have issues trying to be myself around people for fear of judgment and not being good enough. I have many insecurities and hate feeling vulnerable so I dont let myself be open very often or easily. But with the conversation that was being had I found myself being more open than I intended to be. I didnt spill out my life story but I still let myself relax a little more than what is normal for me.
So after great conversation and very little sleep, Saturday rolled around and I found myself with a slight crush and really excited to attend the dance!
The dance was pretty good considering I didnt have any real "girl" friends to dance with but I made the most of it and had a good time.
I got to dance with this boy to the first dance and it was nice being able to dance with someone that I didnt have to ask to dance with. Boys are clueless some times and they dont see that girls want to dance with them. This boy however is not like the others. It was refreshing.
After the dance we hung out and again very little sleep was had but I was left feeling even more interested than before.
Sunday came and so did church. It was fun because we had the meetings in where EFY had classes and it brought back a lot of memories and it made me feel as if I needed to tell people to shut up haha.
After church there was a BBQ and there were stolen glances from across the room, little touches as we passed each other, lame excuses of needing help. All in all it was a good day. Again that night there was very little sleep but it was worth it.
I couldnt sleep that night becaus I had a horrible headache and it just wasnt letting up. It didnt help that I didnt eat anything that day and barely anything the day before. This has started talk amoung the guys thinking that I have an eating disorder... I DO NOT! Sometimes you feel as if you are hungry but then food just isnt appealing and you lose your appetite.
I saw the guys again Monday night, but there was some girl who was around and like I said before, I am done competing for someone. Im tired of having to fight when in the end I wont get what I want especially in this case because this guy doesnt live in Calgary. He is from Toronto but lives in Austrailia. Not fair! I am the one who always fall for the guys who are either Jerks, Unavailable emotionally, not interested, or dont live anywhere near me. Yup! just my luck.
But the point to this story being told is the fact that for the first time in a long time, I have had a great weekend and I did it all on my own. I didnt have to go out with my roommates to have a good time. I got to have a life all on my own and I am more than happy that I did.
25 is starting to look up after all!! : )
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Re- Vamp!
ok! So im sitting at work right now... its not that busy so i thought i would take the time to write a little something.
2012 is the year to which i will re-vamp almost everything.. well maybe re-vamp isnt the right word but there is so much that i want to do this year, and well i have already started the process of the changes i wanted to undergo to make this year an unforgetable one.
so my list went as follows:
1. Get a new phone!
2.Cut off all my hair because its been long for what seems like forever now
3.Go back to brown to see if i like it better
4.Get a new Job
5.Get a car
6.Get my very own computer
7.Get a bunny!!!
8.Re Do my blog/maintain a consitent updating pattern
9.Be happy!
10.Travel some place ive never been before (preferably some place hot!)
So, I have accomplished 1-3 thus far and well as of right now im pretty pleased with myself.
But as far as my hair goes, i do like it brown but right now its just getting boring, so this weekend i am cutting it shorter and going back to blond! it should be interesting. this is going to be the shortest ive ever had my hair, but im excited for the change.
So in keeping with my whole changes theme, the link below is for TuPac's video changes. Some times im a little ghetto, but hey i like the song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8Y9-JlSRXw
2012 is the year to which i will re-vamp almost everything.. well maybe re-vamp isnt the right word but there is so much that i want to do this year, and well i have already started the process of the changes i wanted to undergo to make this year an unforgetable one.
so my list went as follows:
1. Get a new phone!
2.Cut off all my hair because its been long for what seems like forever now
3.Go back to brown to see if i like it better
4.Get a new Job
5.Get a car
6.Get my very own computer
7.Get a bunny!!!
8.Re Do my blog/maintain a consitent updating pattern
9.Be happy!
10.Travel some place ive never been before (preferably some place hot!)
So, I have accomplished 1-3 thus far and well as of right now im pretty pleased with myself.
But as far as my hair goes, i do like it brown but right now its just getting boring, so this weekend i am cutting it shorter and going back to blond! it should be interesting. this is going to be the shortest ive ever had my hair, but im excited for the change.
So in keeping with my whole changes theme, the link below is for TuPac's video changes. Some times im a little ghetto, but hey i like the song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8Y9-JlSRXw
Have a good weekend and Happy Easter!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Ready for a long one???
Oh Gosh where on earth do i begin... that is something i am not sure of.
i wish i could just upload a million pictures, because i havent uploaded a single one since moving here... not even on facebook!!! shocking i know! but that is because i dont own a computer that i can call mine... that is on the list of things to accomplish in the year 2012. but that list is something that i will get to later on...
So let me just see what i can do here to recall everything that has happened in the last ohhh 8 months now...
Ok!!! July i moved here to calgary... which is something that i briefly talked about in my last post... ohhh that is also another story that i will have to touch base on.
So the rest of july wasn't that eventful seeing that i moved out here pretty much at the end of the month... so there wasnt much to say other than the fact i slept on my fouton in the living room for a while haha yes the living room (dont worry that has since changed!)
August came and of course like the little addict i am i went to EFY... it was ok. Again another shocking comment coming from me seeing how much i love efy, but the thing is, this year i just about had a enough and at the end of week 2 i broke up with efy! yes that is correct, i ended things. I actually have decided that i am done with doing efy even though i technically could still do 1 more year, i just dont want to.
towards the end of August is when life started to actually pick up i guess... well i guess thats just when i was actually able to start having a life in a way... not that my life is any where near exciting, but hey its my life and well its finally starting!
So august is when i met a boy... Now i'm sure you are all thinking, finally! haha well if only it were that easy. lets just say, because it was me who liked a boy obviously he wasnt a nice guy. well after all was said and done, things did not turn out the way i wanted them to, and me being who i am, was left crying... yes i cry a lot we all know this haha
september came and went with not a whole lot going on. i pretty much spent the entire month trying convince my friend kayla to move from regina out here. i also worked a lot as well... old navy didnt take long until they made me their slave!! even though work sucked i was still falling more in love with calgary than i already was, and enjoying the fact that i was no longer on the east coast... no offence to the east coast, but this place is better!
during the time i was trying to convince kayla to move out here i did a great job and she did in fact move here! i was more than excited to see her and have her live out here... i adore that little girl! she is grand!
At the end of september i did something i always wanted to do but never thought i would actually do it.... I GOT A PASSPORT AND WENT TO UTAH! yes, i vanessa, traveled in a car with both laura and kayla to utah for conference! my heart was full of joy and happiness!!! it was so amazing! the conference center itself just blew my mind and filled me with such peace.
while in utah i was able to see the sights and shop and visit with some people that i knew... but there was one in particular that i was more than happy about seeing... haha yes that person was a boy! surprise surprise! first off before i say anything about this particular boy, there was another that i thought i would try to see while i was there, and some of you may know who i mean when i say Austin Hart! well, after years of random texting after his mission in halifax, where we met and i fell madly in like with the guy, i decided to send this boy a text and let him know i was in utah and see if he wanted to get together. there had been countless days where i would dream about how our reunion would go, and every time i dreamt it up, i always left him wishing he had come back for me but now i wasnt going to give him the chance... well lets just say that our encounter did not go as i had always dreamed it would. it went as follows (via text)
Me: Hey! hows it going?
Him: good! how are you?
Me: Doing good just in utah for the next few days actually.
Him: thats cool. what are your plans while you're here?
Me: I came for conference and am just touring around.
Him: Sounds fun. I would say lets meet up for lunch or something but i dont think my wife would appreciate that!...
the rest of conversation really doesnt matter because well HE HAS A WIFE!!! i was shocked! he was the one person i actually never saw getting married until he was well into his 30's. I was blown away. I cant even explain to you the shock that came over me. how dare he get married before me!! (thats generally my thought for anyone i know who gets married before me, no offence)
well after that shocking news i made plans with another person that i knew in utah, who also was a boy, the one i mentioned being excited to see... James Baker.. or as some may remember him Elder Baker.
we have kept in contact over the last few years since he served his mission in halifax (yes there is a pattern here... me and missionaries... i think i have a problem)well i had informed him that i would be in utah and since we had always talked about hanging out if i ever came to town, i thought that it would be a good thing seeing that i was in fact in town.
that night laura and kayla both had their double date planned and i had plans with baker... now laura being the gem that she is lent me her car so i could drive and see him... before i even left the house and the whole time i was driving i was praying like a mad woman that nothing would happen and that i wouldnt crash her car... seeing that i am still alive today my prayers were answered!! yay for me!
so i went to hang out with baker at about 730pm... when i arrived back at the place i was staying it was about 730am... i did the walk of shame to the house i was staying at, and the door was actually locked and they had to open it to let me in... not my finest moment... but that night was actually quite funny because i met up with him at BYU and we decided to go out for ice cream. after we sat and caught up on everything he wanted to show me around the campus a bit so we went on a little tour. after going on campus we decided to take a little drive... he took me to the Y look out!!! no nothing happened there but it was funny because we for sure saw a lot of people hooking up, and i knew thats what he was trying to get at but there was no way i would allow myself to be a cliche. the best part was that when we went back to his place one of his roommates came home who was on a date. baker asked him how the date went and what they did on this date, and his date went as followed:
First Stop: Ice Cream
Second Stop: Tour of BYU campus
Third Stop: Look Out
the only difference was that i made it back to their place and this chick didnt. but its good to know if you go on a date with someone from that house then you know what to expect.
well baker and i just sat up and talked all night and had fun hanging out. no i did not kiss him even though he wanted to, i stood my ground and said no... i regret saying no now looking back on it hahaha
well thats pretty much how october started, and by mid october it was settled that we were moving out of our house at the end of the month and we couldnt be happier about it.
well, november came and we moved into our new house with Kayla. It made my heart happy knowing that myself, laura and kayla would have a grand ol time living together. the house is perfect and i love it so much!
December meant it was christmas time and well neither myself or laura were going back home for it so we decided to have an east coast holiday complete with michelle! considering it was just the 3 of us our tree was surrounded with presents!! i havent had a christmas tree that full since i was probably 10 years old and thats for a family of 5. i felt blessed over the holidays.
I got to see a good friend of mine as well right after the new year and that made my heart so happy. he is my best friend so it was great!
So remember that guy from the summer?? well for some reason i let him resurface along with his brother... not quite sure why, but it happened. He and his brother were hanging out one night at our place with myself and kayla and well things just got a little crazy i guess. i let him kiss me again, and well i remembered then why i hated kissing him before even though the first time i liked him.. this time i was just bored and lonely, and he was there so i thought why not... well NEVER AGAIN! then about 2 days later we were hanging out at their place and this time his brother kissed me! like for reals!!! hes not only the better looking one of the two but he is also the better kisser. i had always wanted to kiss him so i was totally all for it... now even though he was the better kisser of the 2 thats not saying much! no offence to him, but i have had some pretty decent kisses in my day and well he was just... ok, nothing special. I have come to learn that i like consistent kisses... not like being kissed constantly, but the familiarity of it. like always being able to kiss the same guy because you like it and you know what to expect and its just nice... now how often to get the consistent side of things??? not very often, but when i do it just melts my heart!!!
so after January came February... this month has been my favorite yet most hated month yet. I surprised my family and went home for about a week. it was great!!!
I called my parents thursday night and casually talked about their weekend plans to see if my surprise plan would actually work. I flew over night and rented a car so that i would have some mode of transportation and not have to worry about driving my mother to and from work... anyway, friday morning when i got into town at 545am i went and picked up my car and drove to my friend megans house to see her and to waste time. after catching up with her i went to my moms work. She works on the third floor and i went up the stairs and slowly rounded the corner... now remember, the last time my mom saw me my hair was way long and way blond. now it was a lot shorter and natural color. when i slowly rounded the corner my mom looked up and looked away, then looked back up and then her jaw just dropped! her words were "what are you doing here??? how did you get here?? we just talked to you last night!?" i explained to her that i had the ticket booked for a while but i didnt want to let anyone know because surprising people is more fun. i also explained to her the concept of air planes and how they do in fact travel across the country overnight.. who would have thunk it!?
after visiting with mother dearest i went to the mall to kill time before i would see my dad because he still didnt know that i was in town. i went to old navy to visit some people for a little while, which was was just great!! talking and catching up with them just made my heart so happy. i had missed everyone so much, especially because the store i worked at here was run by an big butt head!!! (im trying to be nice about it) well, the best part of my surprises was surprising my dad!!! i love that man. i miss him all the time and i just think hes great! well, i went home to my house in eastern passage and i rang the doorbell. I waited for my dad to open the door. my back was to him so he couldnt see me in the windows as he came down the stairs. when he opened the door it took him a moment to realize that it was in fact me who was standing there. when he did realize that it was me he started to giggle like a little kid. it melted my heart (i say that a lot because it happens a lot). I gave him a big hug and then he proceeded to say "what are you doing here??? how did you get here?? we just talked to you last night!?" ... seriously does no one in NS realize that planes do in fact run overnight!? So my dad ever so kindly invited me in to sit down and chat (even if he didnt invite me in i was going in anyway!) after which i took a nap for about an hour or so. then i started getting ready for the evening because i had plans with some old friends of mine who i used to work with. I also wanted to go see my brother who still didnt know i was coming... oh i forgot to say that when i got to the house and went down to my old room i came to realize that my bed was no longer there, but that it infact had been replaced with toddler size DORA bed!! so i was destined for the couch! ... ok, back to my brother. I drove over to his house and from outside i took a picture of his car and sent it to him. his reponse was, "are you outside my house right now?" and i told him to look out his door. he came out of his apartment with the cutest child ever and came running to the door... when he asked lyla who i was she goes "i dont know?" that broke my heart a little, but again it was ok because i did look different from the last time she saw me, so it was all good. i still love her. the next day josh actually had lyla talking to julia and told her to tell mommy who came to see her and lyla goes "nessa came, but its a new nessa" haha that girl just melts my heart!!
so back to friday night, i went out with some of my old friends, and i actually convinced jake to come out as well... for those of you who dont know or dont remember who jake is, he was my driving instructor who i was totally head over heals for! He was a hoot to hang out with and im glad that i got to see him because well i've always held a little torch for that boy haha that night is the reason i hate february so much, but thats a completely different thing and also not something im quite ready to discuss yet... anyways hanging with my friends was great! i miss them all so much. i kind of forgot how many friends i actually did have living back home, but i know for a fact that if i had stayed and hung out with them all the time then my life would be a complete mess. nothing against them at all, but i just know what would have happened because well, it happened once before and that wasnt a pretty picture at all.
so saturday my brother and i spent some quality time together and we went to the movies where a guy got up from his seat and passed out right in the middle of the theater... nope not a good thing, but the movie was great and we got free movie passes because of it! so thank you buddy for passing out and still being ok!!
sunday i went to the branch. it was weird being back and it was also so small!!! i forgot how small it actually was. it was nice seeing some familiar faces but at the same time, being there just dragged me down. i got to see some people who i was just overly excited to see... the schows!!! david and jessica are 2 of some of my most favorite people i know. they were the best part of that branch!! there were many times when they would just say something so simple and it would impact me in such a way i cant even explain it. they are great!! i love that entire family!!
Sunday evening i got to meat little miss olivia!! so precious and cute and i could just eat her up!! she was all smiles when i was there so it was just great! after meeting her, i babysat lyla who was just going to bed at the time but was just hilarious. the things that come out of her mouth just baffel me! i love that kid more than i can say.
The rest of my trip was me pretty much just hanging out with some friends and family and having a nice trip.
when i went home to visit i was scared that the same thing would happen to me that happened when i lived in edmonton... when i went home to visit while living in edmonton i got home sick, and to ad onto other things that were going on in my life, it made me move back home. this time around however, i was able to go home and come back and not feel the same way i did before. i still love calgary! and i am happy living here.
So also living here is my friend leah from back home and she works for a place called, Real Estate Council of Alberta. She informed me that a job opening had come up and that i should apply. i didnt and missed the cut off date for the applications. but i guess that the people they interviewed werent what they were looking for, and so leah told me to apply. so i did and within 5 days i had a phone interview, an in person interview, and then was offered the job not even 2 hours later.
Yes that is correct old navy is history!! and i am so happy!! i love my job and i get my evenings and weekends now. not that i have much of a life but i still get to go out if i want and i know what my days are going to be like. its great.
Now old navy tried to screw me over. i went in to get my final pay which would have 40hours of work plus whatever over time i did, plus my 30 hours of vacation pay out. well when i got the check it was only for my vacation pay out... so i was as little confused because well thats less than half of what i was supposed to get altogether. no assitant managers or store manager was there for me to talk to about it so i got the employee services number and called them... well of course they only work 8-5 and it was after 5 so i couldnt figure things out just yet. the next morning i emailed kurt (SM) to tell him what was going on and to let him know that i didnt believe it was a mistake on employee services end but on his end... on a side note, i hate that man and everyone but him and the ASM knew about it and on my last day he was a complete dill hole and i emailed our district manager, who i had worked with before in NS and i told her pretty much everything that was going on with him. well im pretty sure she told him because he started questioning the other managers asking if they knew that i had an issue with him.... well this started to make me think that he did it on purpose. then when i didnt hear back from the email it made me believe it even more. well i called employee services on my lunch and asked them what was going on and they looked everything up, and when they pulled up my file they said that whoever terminated me out of the system did not put in any of my working hours. i was not impressed at all because thats about 700$ before tax that i was missing. So i got a reference number and i texted Kurt and i literally told him that he had to call employee services before 5pm and get it all squared away and that i would be coming in after work and i wanted to get paid out of the till. his repsonse to that was ok. not a sorry for that or anything. which now made me believe it even more. then when i went in to pick up my money, he didnt come out of the office. he made the specialist give me the money and he was rude to me as well... whoch he had no right to be. Just think, if i hadnt have fought it, they would have kept my money.
well now i am at my new job and I LOVE IT! i am happy.
My life is pretty boring lately but i would rather be happy and bored than be annoyed/angry/upset/unhappy and bored which is what i was.
well speaking of working, im at work right now and i should finally post this. i've been writing it all week whenever i have a little down time.
hopefully i wont take a MILLION years to write again, and hopefully some time soon, maybe when my taxes are done i will FINALLY buy a computer!!
Here's to hoping!
i wish i could just upload a million pictures, because i havent uploaded a single one since moving here... not even on facebook!!! shocking i know! but that is because i dont own a computer that i can call mine... that is on the list of things to accomplish in the year 2012. but that list is something that i will get to later on...
So let me just see what i can do here to recall everything that has happened in the last ohhh 8 months now...
Ok!!! July i moved here to calgary... which is something that i briefly talked about in my last post... ohhh that is also another story that i will have to touch base on.
So the rest of july wasn't that eventful seeing that i moved out here pretty much at the end of the month... so there wasnt much to say other than the fact i slept on my fouton in the living room for a while haha yes the living room (dont worry that has since changed!)
August came and of course like the little addict i am i went to EFY... it was ok. Again another shocking comment coming from me seeing how much i love efy, but the thing is, this year i just about had a enough and at the end of week 2 i broke up with efy! yes that is correct, i ended things. I actually have decided that i am done with doing efy even though i technically could still do 1 more year, i just dont want to.
towards the end of August is when life started to actually pick up i guess... well i guess thats just when i was actually able to start having a life in a way... not that my life is any where near exciting, but hey its my life and well its finally starting!
So august is when i met a boy... Now i'm sure you are all thinking, finally! haha well if only it were that easy. lets just say, because it was me who liked a boy obviously he wasnt a nice guy. well after all was said and done, things did not turn out the way i wanted them to, and me being who i am, was left crying... yes i cry a lot we all know this haha
september came and went with not a whole lot going on. i pretty much spent the entire month trying convince my friend kayla to move from regina out here. i also worked a lot as well... old navy didnt take long until they made me their slave!! even though work sucked i was still falling more in love with calgary than i already was, and enjoying the fact that i was no longer on the east coast... no offence to the east coast, but this place is better!
during the time i was trying to convince kayla to move out here i did a great job and she did in fact move here! i was more than excited to see her and have her live out here... i adore that little girl! she is grand!
At the end of september i did something i always wanted to do but never thought i would actually do it.... I GOT A PASSPORT AND WENT TO UTAH! yes, i vanessa, traveled in a car with both laura and kayla to utah for conference! my heart was full of joy and happiness!!! it was so amazing! the conference center itself just blew my mind and filled me with such peace.
while in utah i was able to see the sights and shop and visit with some people that i knew... but there was one in particular that i was more than happy about seeing... haha yes that person was a boy! surprise surprise! first off before i say anything about this particular boy, there was another that i thought i would try to see while i was there, and some of you may know who i mean when i say Austin Hart! well, after years of random texting after his mission in halifax, where we met and i fell madly in like with the guy, i decided to send this boy a text and let him know i was in utah and see if he wanted to get together. there had been countless days where i would dream about how our reunion would go, and every time i dreamt it up, i always left him wishing he had come back for me but now i wasnt going to give him the chance... well lets just say that our encounter did not go as i had always dreamed it would. it went as follows (via text)
Me: Hey! hows it going?
Him: good! how are you?
Me: Doing good just in utah for the next few days actually.
Him: thats cool. what are your plans while you're here?
Me: I came for conference and am just touring around.
Him: Sounds fun. I would say lets meet up for lunch or something but i dont think my wife would appreciate that!...
the rest of conversation really doesnt matter because well HE HAS A WIFE!!! i was shocked! he was the one person i actually never saw getting married until he was well into his 30's. I was blown away. I cant even explain to you the shock that came over me. how dare he get married before me!! (thats generally my thought for anyone i know who gets married before me, no offence)
well after that shocking news i made plans with another person that i knew in utah, who also was a boy, the one i mentioned being excited to see... James Baker.. or as some may remember him Elder Baker.
we have kept in contact over the last few years since he served his mission in halifax (yes there is a pattern here... me and missionaries... i think i have a problem)well i had informed him that i would be in utah and since we had always talked about hanging out if i ever came to town, i thought that it would be a good thing seeing that i was in fact in town.
that night laura and kayla both had their double date planned and i had plans with baker... now laura being the gem that she is lent me her car so i could drive and see him... before i even left the house and the whole time i was driving i was praying like a mad woman that nothing would happen and that i wouldnt crash her car... seeing that i am still alive today my prayers were answered!! yay for me!
so i went to hang out with baker at about 730pm... when i arrived back at the place i was staying it was about 730am... i did the walk of shame to the house i was staying at, and the door was actually locked and they had to open it to let me in... not my finest moment... but that night was actually quite funny because i met up with him at BYU and we decided to go out for ice cream. after we sat and caught up on everything he wanted to show me around the campus a bit so we went on a little tour. after going on campus we decided to take a little drive... he took me to the Y look out!!! no nothing happened there but it was funny because we for sure saw a lot of people hooking up, and i knew thats what he was trying to get at but there was no way i would allow myself to be a cliche. the best part was that when we went back to his place one of his roommates came home who was on a date. baker asked him how the date went and what they did on this date, and his date went as followed:
First Stop: Ice Cream
Second Stop: Tour of BYU campus
Third Stop: Look Out
the only difference was that i made it back to their place and this chick didnt. but its good to know if you go on a date with someone from that house then you know what to expect.
well baker and i just sat up and talked all night and had fun hanging out. no i did not kiss him even though he wanted to, i stood my ground and said no... i regret saying no now looking back on it hahaha
well thats pretty much how october started, and by mid october it was settled that we were moving out of our house at the end of the month and we couldnt be happier about it.
well, november came and we moved into our new house with Kayla. It made my heart happy knowing that myself, laura and kayla would have a grand ol time living together. the house is perfect and i love it so much!
December meant it was christmas time and well neither myself or laura were going back home for it so we decided to have an east coast holiday complete with michelle! considering it was just the 3 of us our tree was surrounded with presents!! i havent had a christmas tree that full since i was probably 10 years old and thats for a family of 5. i felt blessed over the holidays.
I got to see a good friend of mine as well right after the new year and that made my heart so happy. he is my best friend so it was great!
So remember that guy from the summer?? well for some reason i let him resurface along with his brother... not quite sure why, but it happened. He and his brother were hanging out one night at our place with myself and kayla and well things just got a little crazy i guess. i let him kiss me again, and well i remembered then why i hated kissing him before even though the first time i liked him.. this time i was just bored and lonely, and he was there so i thought why not... well NEVER AGAIN! then about 2 days later we were hanging out at their place and this time his brother kissed me! like for reals!!! hes not only the better looking one of the two but he is also the better kisser. i had always wanted to kiss him so i was totally all for it... now even though he was the better kisser of the 2 thats not saying much! no offence to him, but i have had some pretty decent kisses in my day and well he was just... ok, nothing special. I have come to learn that i like consistent kisses... not like being kissed constantly, but the familiarity of it. like always being able to kiss the same guy because you like it and you know what to expect and its just nice... now how often to get the consistent side of things??? not very often, but when i do it just melts my heart!!!
so after January came February... this month has been my favorite yet most hated month yet. I surprised my family and went home for about a week. it was great!!!
I called my parents thursday night and casually talked about their weekend plans to see if my surprise plan would actually work. I flew over night and rented a car so that i would have some mode of transportation and not have to worry about driving my mother to and from work... anyway, friday morning when i got into town at 545am i went and picked up my car and drove to my friend megans house to see her and to waste time. after catching up with her i went to my moms work. She works on the third floor and i went up the stairs and slowly rounded the corner... now remember, the last time my mom saw me my hair was way long and way blond. now it was a lot shorter and natural color. when i slowly rounded the corner my mom looked up and looked away, then looked back up and then her jaw just dropped! her words were "what are you doing here??? how did you get here?? we just talked to you last night!?" i explained to her that i had the ticket booked for a while but i didnt want to let anyone know because surprising people is more fun. i also explained to her the concept of air planes and how they do in fact travel across the country overnight.. who would have thunk it!?
after visiting with mother dearest i went to the mall to kill time before i would see my dad because he still didnt know that i was in town. i went to old navy to visit some people for a little while, which was was just great!! talking and catching up with them just made my heart so happy. i had missed everyone so much, especially because the store i worked at here was run by an big butt head!!! (im trying to be nice about it) well, the best part of my surprises was surprising my dad!!! i love that man. i miss him all the time and i just think hes great! well, i went home to my house in eastern passage and i rang the doorbell. I waited for my dad to open the door. my back was to him so he couldnt see me in the windows as he came down the stairs. when he opened the door it took him a moment to realize that it was in fact me who was standing there. when he did realize that it was me he started to giggle like a little kid. it melted my heart (i say that a lot because it happens a lot). I gave him a big hug and then he proceeded to say "what are you doing here??? how did you get here?? we just talked to you last night!?" ... seriously does no one in NS realize that planes do in fact run overnight!? So my dad ever so kindly invited me in to sit down and chat (even if he didnt invite me in i was going in anyway!) after which i took a nap for about an hour or so. then i started getting ready for the evening because i had plans with some old friends of mine who i used to work with. I also wanted to go see my brother who still didnt know i was coming... oh i forgot to say that when i got to the house and went down to my old room i came to realize that my bed was no longer there, but that it infact had been replaced with toddler size DORA bed!! so i was destined for the couch! ... ok, back to my brother. I drove over to his house and from outside i took a picture of his car and sent it to him. his reponse was, "are you outside my house right now?" and i told him to look out his door. he came out of his apartment with the cutest child ever and came running to the door... when he asked lyla who i was she goes "i dont know?" that broke my heart a little, but again it was ok because i did look different from the last time she saw me, so it was all good. i still love her. the next day josh actually had lyla talking to julia and told her to tell mommy who came to see her and lyla goes "nessa came, but its a new nessa" haha that girl just melts my heart!!
so back to friday night, i went out with some of my old friends, and i actually convinced jake to come out as well... for those of you who dont know or dont remember who jake is, he was my driving instructor who i was totally head over heals for! He was a hoot to hang out with and im glad that i got to see him because well i've always held a little torch for that boy haha that night is the reason i hate february so much, but thats a completely different thing and also not something im quite ready to discuss yet... anyways hanging with my friends was great! i miss them all so much. i kind of forgot how many friends i actually did have living back home, but i know for a fact that if i had stayed and hung out with them all the time then my life would be a complete mess. nothing against them at all, but i just know what would have happened because well, it happened once before and that wasnt a pretty picture at all.
so saturday my brother and i spent some quality time together and we went to the movies where a guy got up from his seat and passed out right in the middle of the theater... nope not a good thing, but the movie was great and we got free movie passes because of it! so thank you buddy for passing out and still being ok!!
sunday i went to the branch. it was weird being back and it was also so small!!! i forgot how small it actually was. it was nice seeing some familiar faces but at the same time, being there just dragged me down. i got to see some people who i was just overly excited to see... the schows!!! david and jessica are 2 of some of my most favorite people i know. they were the best part of that branch!! there were many times when they would just say something so simple and it would impact me in such a way i cant even explain it. they are great!! i love that entire family!!
Sunday evening i got to meat little miss olivia!! so precious and cute and i could just eat her up!! she was all smiles when i was there so it was just great! after meeting her, i babysat lyla who was just going to bed at the time but was just hilarious. the things that come out of her mouth just baffel me! i love that kid more than i can say.
The rest of my trip was me pretty much just hanging out with some friends and family and having a nice trip.
when i went home to visit i was scared that the same thing would happen to me that happened when i lived in edmonton... when i went home to visit while living in edmonton i got home sick, and to ad onto other things that were going on in my life, it made me move back home. this time around however, i was able to go home and come back and not feel the same way i did before. i still love calgary! and i am happy living here.
So also living here is my friend leah from back home and she works for a place called, Real Estate Council of Alberta. She informed me that a job opening had come up and that i should apply. i didnt and missed the cut off date for the applications. but i guess that the people they interviewed werent what they were looking for, and so leah told me to apply. so i did and within 5 days i had a phone interview, an in person interview, and then was offered the job not even 2 hours later.
Yes that is correct old navy is history!! and i am so happy!! i love my job and i get my evenings and weekends now. not that i have much of a life but i still get to go out if i want and i know what my days are going to be like. its great.
Now old navy tried to screw me over. i went in to get my final pay which would have 40hours of work plus whatever over time i did, plus my 30 hours of vacation pay out. well when i got the check it was only for my vacation pay out... so i was as little confused because well thats less than half of what i was supposed to get altogether. no assitant managers or store manager was there for me to talk to about it so i got the employee services number and called them... well of course they only work 8-5 and it was after 5 so i couldnt figure things out just yet. the next morning i emailed kurt (SM) to tell him what was going on and to let him know that i didnt believe it was a mistake on employee services end but on his end... on a side note, i hate that man and everyone but him and the ASM knew about it and on my last day he was a complete dill hole and i emailed our district manager, who i had worked with before in NS and i told her pretty much everything that was going on with him. well im pretty sure she told him because he started questioning the other managers asking if they knew that i had an issue with him.... well this started to make me think that he did it on purpose. then when i didnt hear back from the email it made me believe it even more. well i called employee services on my lunch and asked them what was going on and they looked everything up, and when they pulled up my file they said that whoever terminated me out of the system did not put in any of my working hours. i was not impressed at all because thats about 700$ before tax that i was missing. So i got a reference number and i texted Kurt and i literally told him that he had to call employee services before 5pm and get it all squared away and that i would be coming in after work and i wanted to get paid out of the till. his repsonse to that was ok. not a sorry for that or anything. which now made me believe it even more. then when i went in to pick up my money, he didnt come out of the office. he made the specialist give me the money and he was rude to me as well... whoch he had no right to be. Just think, if i hadnt have fought it, they would have kept my money.
well now i am at my new job and I LOVE IT! i am happy.
My life is pretty boring lately but i would rather be happy and bored than be annoyed/angry/upset/unhappy and bored which is what i was.
well speaking of working, im at work right now and i should finally post this. i've been writing it all week whenever i have a little down time.
hopefully i wont take a MILLION years to write again, and hopefully some time soon, maybe when my taxes are done i will FINALLY buy a computer!!
Here's to hoping!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
A quick post
So I'm actually posting from my iPod while lying on my bed that is actually a fouton. Why is my bed a fouton? Well that's because I moved to Calgary a little over a month ago and I can't afford a real bed but I do love my fouton. I will hopefully post pictures at some point of what my dear little room looks like. It's starting to look like a real room right now and I love it. Speaking of love I love Calgary! I forgot how much I did but I totally do. Now I'm not as sociable as Laura is but I'm ok with that. I have run into many people that i've known from over the years. I have run into a total of 2 ex's and one was ok nut the second was a little more awkward for me. I also like a boy.... SHOCKER! But that is a long long story that I'm not going to get into right now. I'm tired and well typing on my iPod isn't all it's cracked up yo be. I just thought that since it's been a long time I would give a quick update. I do miss the blogger world and I will hopefully be back soon and more consistantly!
Audios amigos!
Audios amigos!
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