"Nobody Said It Was Easy"

Im pretty sure those Coldplay lyrics explain it all right about now. I never went into this thinking that things would be easy, and people who do are living in a dream world. Good things arent supposed to be easy. Good things require work and sometimes work really means fighting through the problems.
Today I am running on less than 4 hours of sleep because things right now arent easy. I am left in limbo not sure which direction I am going to be going.
Ive had emotional "Issues" for as long as I can remember and sometimes they are really good and sometimes not so much. As of late things have been great and my emotions have been nothing but good. Then some where between Wednesday and Thursday things just shifted. I cannot explain why this happens to me or what causes it, but it just happens. This is something people dont understand unless they have gone through it. This is something I have worked really hard on and when Im told Im not working on it I feel like a failure. This is my flaw and some people cant handle that, and right now Im not sure if this is something that can be dealt with by others.
Nobody said that things would come easily and right now Im in a hard and difficult place with almost every aspect of my life. I am doing my best, but I guess some times my best isnt good enough or its not what people think it should be.
So this is me, an emotional wreck for no reason with all my imperfections, am I worth the fight?

This Isnt Easy For Me...

I hate feeling like Im disappointing people. I want to spend time with everyone, and I want everyone to spend time together. I hate that I cant make things go a certain way.
I am torn between spending time with my friends by breaking a promise to the guy Im dating, or keeping my promise to the guy and upsetting my friends. I just wish that this could come easy. You may look at this and say its a no brainer "keep your promise" or "go with your friends." The decision seems easy, but for me its not. I dont want to be the type of person who is forced to choose and today I feel forced. I get guilted by all parties, Im sure they dont mean to guilt me, but they do. I just cant please everyone and myself. That is the other choice, just do what I want. Now this is the hardest part; I want both! I have the hardest time making decisions when there are more people involved than just myself. I want to be able to please everyone and I cant. I just want this to come easy and its not.